Tuesday
Jul142009
Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat?
July 14, 2009 Attn parents: the last photo in today's post is not appropriate for the little ones.
So you're making a Doritos-run to your local grocery store, and you see this:
And for some reason many of you are convinced by this chipped, yellowing, choking-hazard of a cake that photo cakes are a "grrrr-reat!" idea. So you run home, rifle through the blackmail folder, and order up gems like these:
And when you combine embarrassing candids with the "skill" of a seasoned Wreckerator, you can achieve a level of Wreckage never before imagined by the culinary world.Your job: find the creepiest photo of the birthday girl possible - swirling light vortex and glowing red eyes a plus.
Wreckerator's job: place photo off-center and try to use up all this extra orange icing.
(the orange is on the bottom border)
(the orange is on the bottom border)Great job, team!
Or here's an idea:
Hand out little tubes of icing and invite guests to black out teeth, draw on mustaches, etc. That'll make the birthday girl feel special.Here's an option for you creative types:
Photoshop: lending the honky some jammin' style since 1984.
Or why their new nickname is "the dragon":
Ah, cameras and alcohol: a match made in Cake Wrecks heaven.Thanks to Mangycat, Bridgett, A Nony Mouse, Emma M., Rachel B., Julie C., and Kimberly E. Remember: what happens in Vegas, gets on Cake Wrecks!
- Related Wreckage: Breaking News: Head-Swelling Bakery Incident Goes Horribly Awry
Reader Comments (86)
Wow, it's like Alicia's face is coming out at you on that second cake. "In your face, partygoer!"
WV:semons ...uh, I'll leave that WV alone.
That last cake's icing says chocolate, but the picture says very vanilla.
myolderbrothers.blogspot.com
wv: chbong - the sound you make when you bang your head on a giant bell
hee hee
Get drunk like Jordan...
This is why I hate cameras.
Anyone else notice the re-occurance of the age 30? Great - is that what I have to look forward to?
Though not particularly well-executed, the Jamaican one is kind of funny.
That second one down- it stares into my soul.
Really? If I ever get a cake with that bad of a photo on it (or heck, even a cake with my photo on it) I'm going to cry.
Although the rasta one probably has a funny story (I hope), it's still so wrong...
WV: foorted -- I laughed so hard, I almost foorted!
Ewwww. I feel sorry for the person that gets the pee piece.
To me the most disturbing thing is found on the last cake.
Since when is 30 over the hill??
Dean J.
I want to know...since when is 30 "over the hill"?
"lending the honky some jammin' style"
This is SOOOOOOOOOOOO racist. I can't believe that you havent learned your lesson after the Zwarte Piete debacle! Don't you know that black people can NEVER be referenced without people shouting "Oh, gosh, I'm SO OFFENDED"?
This by far was the most hilarious post I have seen. OMG! The Dragon!!
When did 30 become over the hill? I thouguht that was 40?!?!?!
Every photo cake since http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/01/breaking-news-head-swelling-bakery.html" rel="nofollow">toilet girl has had no effect on me whatsoever. Sorry.
So who had to eat the piece of cake with Jordan's pee on it?
i think the rasta-cake is amazing.
Did Jordon wet his pants!? Ick!
Oh my, what would these sadists do for a 50th?
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
all these cakes were awesome! but maybe its just because my friends would get me such cakes! ha!
See this is why I only drink twice a year--my birthday and on New Years. And since its only ONE glass, no worries of being sauced! XD
Re: the "wet crotch" slice on Jordan's cake...
"Mm! So moist!"
Got a little nervous over the last one until I realized that was just a dragon tongue.
Since when is 30 "Over the Hill"?
I'm surprised the radish/burgundy carrots/wilting, asphyxiated flowers on Emma's cake never got a mention!
Not to nag, but the :ahem: garment Craig is wearing is actually an alligator. Why do I know this? We sell these garments at work (online stores). We have elephants, penguins, and many more if you would like to humiliate someone.
After seeing that it is going to be a little easier to stay on my diet.
Love the last one! Woo. woo!
~Amy B.
With friends like these, we'll all need enemas to wash ourselves clean of the wreckage.
I need to remember to thank my friends and family for not getting me one of these for my 30th surprise party.
And that reminds me...my friend's 30th is in August...
Hmmmmm.
It took me some time to figure out the red thingies on Emma's cake were probably rosebuds.
I sat there wondering WHY someone would decorate a birthday cake with red chili peppers.
These are masterfully horrible.
Oh, and at 56, I resent the implication that 30 is OLD. I LOVED my 30s.
WAIT. 30 is "over the hill"?!?!?!?!
Is that Tony Blair with the photoshopped dreadlocks?
Well now, who wants a piece of the crotch?!?
Yeeeesh. Got any DMV photo cakes kicking around in storage Jen?
WV: hanyk. A good name for the alligator/dragon undies.
LOL, I ordered an edible image on a cake once. It was for my brother's birthday, and I found a pic of him from when he was 7 or 8, wearing an old bathing suit of mine he had found. No, he's not weird like that or anything. He thought he was being funny until we chased him down with the camera. He's never quite lived it down, and when he saw that on his 20th bday cake he got up and walked out.... yeah, I guess it wasn't as hilarious as the rest of us thought, LOL.
Luckily for him, the wreckorator had forgotten to peel the backing off of the image, so we simply lifted it off the top of the cake and got him to come back. :)
Yeah, good times.
-Jenn
Imagine if you will having a local grocery store bakery manager for a mother.
This means only one thing: YOU ARE THE SUBJECT OF THE PHOTOS OF ALL THE PICTURES ON THE CAKES!
Like a pic that your mother BRIBED you to take with Figment while on vacation, Christmas, etc.
MY FRIENDS saw said pictures.
Oh yeah, and people wonder why I'm in therapy.
The pee one is TOO much! Fawesome!!
those are hilarious!!
While these are all so much schadenfreude, all I have to say is AHAHAHAHAHA hilarious! XD
(though I do resent 30 being considered 'over the hill'! =P )
Ohh dear.
Wrecked cake: hopefully cheap.
Photo on cake of drunk dude weeing his pants: priceless!
(Dear drunk dude: Men can do kegels too. You really should.)
OK those were all to funny to me, I want to know who got the *moist bite* from Mr. Pee Pee Pants! I still have tears in my eyes from trying to not laugh out loud and have my daughters PCA think I am nuts!
It seriously looks like a 4th grader who is learning the difficult ways of cursive piped E mma's cake. Weird spacing intended. Why put Thai chiles on a cake?? Oh wait, those are rosebuds?? I take it back. A 2nd grader..and one without the prodigious skills of most 2nd graders.
Since when is "30" the new Over-The-Hill?
I actually like the idea of allowing guests to sign and sabotage a wrecktacious photo of oneself... I'll have to take a mental note of that on my hubby's 30th b-day in 2 years.
If I had seen this post last week while visiting grandparents I would have swiped some photos to prevent any of these mishaps on my upcoming 30th b-day cake. And I'm now regretting sharing the Cake Wrecks link with family and friends...
I've always seen photo cakes as somewhat cannibalistic.... *shudder*
i say.
those pictures are of things i would not exactly place in the 'things i want to be remembered by' category.
besides, who even thought that eating your own face would ever be a good idea?
[plus, the paper tastes yuck. but that's is completely beside the point.]
wv : panleoti - a kind of pasghetti, served with meat and applesauce.
See, this is why I don't drink. I like to keep my wits about me so I can make fun of the drunks. XD
Re: the "wet crotch" slice on Jordan's cake...
"Mm! So moist!"
Win!
mmmm. The dragon. YESSS!!
http://confessions-of-a-part-time-waitress.blogspot.com/
I recently found this blog. I LOVE it! Nothing could be better than sugar and humor!