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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul132009

Beauty is Only Skin Deep

If you think animated characters today set an unrealistic standard of beauty for your kids, then you're in luck! Today's cakes will show you some great ways to lower that standard, all while teaching important life-lessons!

First, remember, girls: strong jawlines = strong women.



Also, some things are better gotten off your chest.


While others - such as missing limbs, sagging chests, and worryingly large necks - are best left unmentioned:

On the plus side, questions like "Where's the rest of her choker? Or her arm? Or her ear?" can help distract viewers from misspellings. Case in point: did you notice "bithday"?

Brenda S., Courtenay P., Aaryn C., & Beth, these cakes are beautiful, no matter what they say.

- Related Wreckage: My Youngest Wreckporter

« Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat? | Main | Sunday Sweets: Harry Potter »

Reader Comments (109)

Too bad the cakes turned out so badly, when you can tell alot of effort was spent doing them.

Makes me sad...yet I can't stop laughing.

wv: lasermin. Perhaps if the wreckerators had used a lasermin, the design would be more realistic.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissie

The last Cinderella is like a kid's puzzle with pieces missing. Someone is going to find them under the couch when they move. "Where did this 'R' come from? Or this arm? Or this blue chunk of ribbon? What is going on?"

myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

Bithday.

That cake is just priceless.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Oh noes!! I completely missed "bithday"! I guess I was distracted..

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames

Why? Oh, why?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

oh wow...this reminds me of the fabric I was going to buy with the princesses on it, the faces got printed about a 1/2 inch off...it was really scary

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

God, I love this post.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie R

The sad thing is that the Firestar on that cake is actually pretty accurate. As much as I loved that series back in 1981, watching it as an adult you realize how very bad the animation was...

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTalia

Not sure about the choker, but I think she's scratching her rear end with that missing arm.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake is HIDEOUS! Heinous! I can only suspect that the person responsible for that was drunk or high out of their mind...

That is one three-year-old who is going to need a LOT of therapy.

-Benjamin

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBenjamin

I really love the Cinderella's 90th Birthday Party Cake.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterInventing Weddings

HA! No I DIDN'T notice the misspelling!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Good point - I *didn't* notice "bithday" until you mentioned it!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

The Ariel cake totally looks like Jay Leno!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrisha

As a matter of fact, no, I did not notice "bithday." So the wreckerator's plan worked brilliantly!

Meh, I don't feel too bad about the wreckeration of Disney characters. And I've always wondered what's up with Cinderella's blue earmuffs? That second wreck makes her look like Ernestine the Operator. "One drecky wrecky..."

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Is that Quagmire Or Ariel in the first cake?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFry

Ouch. Just ouch. It hurts to look. Make it stop!
Wv: ablecha. Couldn't have said it better myself.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

I think you've completely missed the point. Clearly, these cakes were homages to Picasso. The strong lines and multiple perspectives were all purposefully done in the cubist style. These wreckerators should be commended for using a child's "bithday" as an opportunity to introduce said child to modern art.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

What is the name on the first wreck? Kaiyl?

stoo

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Missed the 'bithday' first time around....

Ya gotta love that one superhero's single Madonna cone-like boob!

those are scary cakes!
i am glad i already ate.
~lucia

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

ROTFL, you're right! I did NOT notice bithday until you pointed it out.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCat's Creations

These cakes need to get more sleep.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

You're right! I didn't notice bithday!

I was too busy examining how the choker not only doesn't continue past her crazy pointy chin, but doesn't quite extend to the edge of her neck on the other side either.

Which leads me to believe it is not a choker. It's a Bandaid

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

I think Ariel is portrayed rather accurately. I mean she is underwater after all. :)

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah of RamFam

Reading this blog gives me the energy to go get my medical testing done. I'm not allowed to eat or drink or bathe or wear metal or have chocolate before.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie in Arlington

The fire on the superhero cake was pretty cool too. Too bad they didn't just stop there.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMzHartz

What? Not everyone's left breast looks like an oversized lemon? :O

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

At least it's appropriate that the pointier of Firestar's boobs is the one that's so very close to Iceman.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

Is that 103-year-old Cinderella a dreaded CCC?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Great selection of wreckalicious cakes! Anybody notice how badly Princess Bithday could use a push up bra? I'm just saying...
(Reminds me of this vintage Carol Burnett sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5mYiP2vAr8 )
Thanks for the daily smile!
(First time commenting - long time fan!)

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLady Cynthia

The female superhero's(superheroine?) left breast looks as if it's divining for water...or something.

I'll take them all! My bday is coming up! Half Assed I'm coming to check out your blog!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorta Di Fame

I love the fact that someone did a "Spiderman and his Amazing Friends" cake. I loved that cartoon as a child. Now only if it had been better!

Say, do you have the newest American Cake Deocrating that has teh ICES preview in it? They teach you how to make a CCC in it!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

lol! We just had a Little Mermaid themed birthday party for my 4 year old. Thank goodness our cake didn't turn out like that!

But, Cinderella actually doesn't have ears, or at least doesn't show them. I'm sure the cake wrecker was going for this picture, but failed miserably.

http://coloringpagesforkids.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/cinderella-pose.gif

Kara

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKara

How are you even going to eat that Mermaid cake??? It's obviously a CCC (patooie!) but one with gross marzipan covering the edges so you can't see where to grab the cupcake.

That's too bad about Firestar's mutant boob - it was such a pretty cake. Why didn't they just make the left one the same as the right? And while i'm on about it, why does every comic artist feel the need to define the superheroine's hoo hoo so often? I don't need to see the "Y" all up in my grille.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

wow... the cake pan used for Ariel looks like maybe it was supposed to be for a thanksgiving turkey bird... does anyone else see that too?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

That last one looks like a cross dresser!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Times must be tough in the enchanted kingdoms, both of the Cinderella cakes look like she's taken a low paying call center job.
WV: Unitch-new mosquito repellant?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Oh goody! More "Copyright Uninfringement"!!

Those cakes made me cringe.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Aaaah, this is why I love your blog.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBookworm

Laughed out loud, once again!

Thanks
Kelly

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

That's.... that's a Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends cake...

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersaevitiasnape

AHHHH! And this is why you go buy funfetti cake from target.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

"Bithday"

Score!! haha

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStalker v1.5

I can't wait to celebrate my bithday this week! Maybe I'll get a wreck too, because deep down, I would be disappointed if I got a good cake.

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Sweet mother of god, someone have mercy on my eyes and take the pastry bags AWAY FROM THOSE CAKE DECORATORS!!!!!! Because EVERY little girl wants a mutant Cinderella cake for her 'bithday"...*gag in corner* But the screen..I just can't look away!
WV: reatean. I'm so glad that I've already 'reatean' before I read this post!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBitsy Baker

Was the Ariel 'cake' made with cupcakes, fondant and magic markers??? Reason #837 why CCCs (patooie!) should be illegal.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakey Goodness

Wow, Jen. I'm impressed that you didn't comment on the CCC (the old Cinderella). That must have taken some restraint!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErica

You know, apart from the, erm, unfortunate skewing of Firestar's anatomy, the Spiderman and Friends cake actually isn't bad! Rather spiffy, and brings back memories.

The rest, however, are done in the best wrecktastic tradition. I suppose Cinderella is especially challenging? 0_o

As for 'bithday', she's 3. Maybe that's how she says it? "Is m'bithday!" =D

Wreck on!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

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