Expect Less. Laugh More.

Have a heart, bakers.

Don't do this:

And never promise the bride this:

When you're going to deliver this:

Hey, while I've got you here, let's talk about zebra stripes:

THESE ARE ZEBRA STRIPES.

These, on the other hand ...

Well, I'm pretty sure those are zebra sperm.

But then again, I tend to see things in black and white.

And finally, bakers, just because you might question a couple's choice for their wedding cake order:

... that's no reason to punish them further!

("Hey, you with the shotgun. Put this cake out of its misery.")

Thanks to Anony M., Courtney T., Michelle T., & RT for the bang-up job hunting these down. 

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Against The Grain

Y'know...

...maybe the bride shouldn't have ordered a whole wheat wedding cake.

Thanks to Sasha M., for helping us remember the first year is always the harvest hardest.

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Update From Jen: 

I see your stalks of wheat, Sharyn, and raise you...

THIS.

Thanks to Robert V. for making like a tree, and swaying in high winds.

(I'd ask you readers who won, but considering these were both wedding cakes, I guess we already know who lost. Heh.)

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Update from john (the hubby of Jen) 

Ooh, ooh! My turn!

Sha-POW! Take THAT! Haha!

Thanks to Adrienne H.  for helping me needle my fellow writers. I'm pretty sure I sapped their strength. Also, my house is a bit messy so I should probably spruce up the place!

Three! THREE PUNS!!! AH. AH. AH!

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