Wednesday
Nov082017
Expect Less. Laugh More.
November 8, 2017 Have a heart, bakers.
;)
Don't do this:
;)
And never promise the bride this:
;)
When you're going to deliver this:
;)
Hey, while I've got you here, let's talk about zebra stripes:
;)
THESE ARE ZEBRA STRIPES.
These, on the other hand ...
;)
Well, I'm pretty sure those are zebra sperm.
But then again, I tend to see things in black and white.
And finally, bakers, just because you might question a couple's choice for their wedding cake order:
;)
... that's no reason to punish them further!
;)
("Hey, you with the shotgun. Put this cake out of its misery.")
Thanks to Anony M., Courtney T., Michelle T., & RT for the bang-up job hunting these down.
*****
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Reader Comments (16)
The "ruffles" on the second wreck look as if they are hiding some cake layers that don't match up. And WHY would anybody make red and black roses? Yuck.
Even on the non-wrecked picture of the deer cake, there is something questionable. Although it does occasionally happen, normally a female deer will not have antlers. So unless it was a subtle hint that the bride has a nice rack, someone goofed.
... I'm most confused why the inspiration camo cake has a juvenile male (single spike antler) and adult male... don't get me wrong I fully support the marriage of two adult bucks but this is a little too "man-boy love" for me.
That first wreck looks like a divorce cake-dead roses for a love gone sour. Always sad!
Wreck #1) Look at the scorch marks. This wreck has heartburn.
Wreck #2) On the top tier, is that supposed to be a heart, or is it the outline of Mickey Mouse's head?
Wreck #3) If those are sperm, are the circles unfertilized eggs? And the stars, are they eggs fertilized and already dividing? Inquiring minds want to know. (And why does the bottom tier look like styrofoam?)
Wreck #4) Well, the "gold leaf" is a nice touch, I guess.
Is that a fondant bow on top of the zebra sperm cake? (I can't believe I actually just typed, 'zebra sperm.') If so, then the bakery clearly knows what fondant is and how to use it. So their choice of buttercream for the rest of the cake is.....perplexing at best.
The frosting on the 4th cake reminds of a chenille bedspread!
Why is that googly eye staring at me from the bottom of the last cake?!
Hey did any of ya'll notice those creatures around the bottom of the last cake? I think they are supposed to be turkeys, but they look like brown swans. I think we should name it "swanurkeys"!
@Kate, you made me snort Coke Zero out of my nose!
Clearly, I've been coming here too long. Wreck Nos. 2 and 3 really don't look THAT bad, in the grand scheme of wrecking. The camp cake, on the other hand ...
♪ ♫ Can you cake with all the colors of the wind... ♪♫♪
There had to have been a moment during the creation of the first wreck when the decorator noticed that something wasn't right-- the color mixing hadn't gone as planned, the roses were too small and the rows too grid-like. At that moment, there was still time to scrape away the icing and start over.
And then, the moment passed.
I think the decorator behind that heart/roses cake got confused and made it a strawberry halfway through. Though what a rotting strawberry has to do with anything you'd want to eat or express with a cake is beyond me.
Loved the first pic. Wish I hadn't scrolled to the second lol. Someone either had a bad day at the bakery or just hates hearts and roses. Scary.
To be fair, I work at Walmart and that "zebra" cake is pretty spot on to the page. I HATED doing that cake, cause it looks NOTHING like zebra print. But its straight out of the book like that, yet people always ordered it anyways. And the bows came in premade.