Well, I'm Stumped

There is a tradition of making wedding cakes that look like tree stumps. Why? Beats me. And since many of them have little shotgun shells decoratively sprinkled around the edges, I'll let one of you ask.

Here's an example of a stump wedding cake, and also what bride Zsofia asked her baker to make for her wedding:

As you can see, it is remarkably stumpy. Now, again, you may be questioning the reasoning behind celebrating a new life of love together with a murdered tree. To this I say: It's not like it's a real tree, so let it go already. Besides, that's not the point.

So what IS the point?

The point, my dear Wreckies, is that Zsofia got THIS for her wedding cake:

See? Betcha don't give a poo-streaked muck pile why people order stump cakes now. Now you just want a better view of this poo-streaked muck pile.

Happy to oblige, my friends, happy to oblige:

This is a wedding cake, people. A wedding cake. For somebody's wedding. Which people were expected to eat. With their mouths.

Now don't get me wrong: the green shredded coconut adds a festive touch to those 15 cent cardboard rounds, and the fake bird is totally workin' it. Still, the bride suspects (and from this photo, I think with good reason) that the cake may have fallen over a few times en route, since in addition to looking - well, like this - it was an hour late to the reception.

Happily, though, Zsofia reports that by the time the cake arrived most of the guests were too drunk to care what the cake looked like, anyway.

[sniffle] Aw, I just love happy endings, don't you?

- Related Wreckage: Inspiration vs Perspiration

And Now, MORE Weird Wedding Cakes

Aw, you know you love it.

Monica G. thinks this cake from the Wilton website looks like it's covered with rocks. I, however, say it looks like a pottery project. Covered in rocks.

And here we have...

A fish tank.

In a wedding cake.

That is all.

(Thanks, Phyllis L.)

If that isn't fishy enough for you, though, there's always this option:

(Look closely.) I am amazed, Karin. Completely freaked out, but amazed.

(UPDATE: Nope, these aren't Koi fish. Or imitation crab meat. For a close-up and explanation, go here.)

Laura M. tells me this next one is a "new take on a croquembouche gone awry". Now, I have no idea what a "croquembouche" is, but from looking at the photo...

I'm going to guess it's French for "albino booby tower".

And lastly, let's take a "peep" at Courtney S.'s find:

Hm. Now why does this topper remind me of the final scene in Beetlejuice?