Painfully Honest Cakes

Remember, kids, if you can't say anything nice...

...say it with cake.

Today is National Honesty Day, but before you go dropping those truth bombs, let's take a look at some ways you can be completely honest but still somewhat polite:

And my personal favorite:

Only works with Angelas, though.

I just realized if you read those three together, you get a short poem:

"You are tolerable.
You are slightly above average.
You are Angela."

I like it.

If you can be a little more effusive, there's also this option for a completely honest compliment:

"And hey, I mean that."

But let's be honest: 99% of the people you know are total jerkfaces, and the only reason we say nice things on their cakes is because it's their birthday and we want cake.

So here's a compromise: start with "happy birthday," and then throw in a little truth:

Boom.

See, the exclamation mark makes it chipper!

The misspelling will confuse everyone long enough for us to make a run for it.

If you'd rather avoid all that conflict, though, then how about a general statement that everyone can agree on?

TRUTH.

Thanks to Nichelle O., Gina G., Kristin S., Kitzy C., Joan A., Sarah C., Liz M., Doug K., & Michele D. for spouting off.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Say What, Again?

Sometimes people often send me their cakes with no back story, which usually isn't a big deal, but other times...

Um.

Yeah.

I like to think this is the same James:

And all together, now:

"Nana nana nana nana nana... da heck?"

Now here's a reader who knows how to properly stage a photo:

Never have I been so grateful for a pair of quotation marks.

Deep Thoughts
From The Bakery:

I guess it must be a birthday cake? Maybe?

"Gee, thanks, Mom."
"And don't forget to show your friends the new sweater vest I got you!"
"MOO-OOOOM!"

I think "Danngeous" is supposed to be "dangerous."

Sooo, I'm guessing they never saw these bon-bons, then.

"And thank YOU for putting them out again."

This is one of those times I wish I was a baker:

I mean, the urge to put a plastic roach in this thing must have been OVERWHELMING.

And finally:

That says "Happy Holidays Mile High Ferret Club."

o.0

I'M OUT.
[drops mic]

Thanks to Jessica L., James S., Antoine J., Anony M., Erica M., Lynne M., Landon D., Karl, & Deirdre M. for letting our imaginations run wild... presumably alongside a bunch of pregnant ferrets.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: