Painfully Honest Cakes
April 22, 2019 Remember, kids, if you can't say anything nice...
;)
...say it with cake.
Today is National Honesty Day, but before you go dropping those truth bombs, let's take a look at some ways you can be completely honest but still somewhat polite:
;)
;)
And my personal favorite:
;)
Only works with Angelas, though.
I just realized if you read those three together, you get a short poem:
"You are tolerable.
You are slightly above average.
You are Angela."
I like it.
If you can be a little more effusive, there's also this option for a completely honest compliment:
;)
"And hey, I mean that."
But let's be honest: 99% of the people you know are total jerkfaces, and the only reason we say nice things on their cakes is because it's their birthday and we want cake.
So here's a compromise: start with "happy birthday," and then throw in a little truth:
;)
Boom.
;)
See, the exclamation mark makes it chipper!
;)
The misspelling will confuse everyone long enough for us to make a run for it.
If you'd rather avoid all that conflict, though, then how about a general statement that everyone can agree on?
;)
TRUTH.
Thanks to Nichelle O., Gina G., Kristin S., Kitzy C., Joan A., Sarah C., Liz M., Doug K., & Michele D. for spouting off.
*****
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Reader Comments (13)
Not just Angela, we all are. Angela.
I work with an Angela. She barely average and slightly tolerable. LOVE the poem.
Look: you HAVE to admit that the whale cake is clever. Maybe a friend who's SYSTER was named "Phyllis", and the whole thing was a misunderstanding....? I'd let it go, and give it some time! Sooner or later, the whole thing will BLOW over.
=^-.-^=
Last one's a trap.
How do you extinguish the candles?
You're syphilis!
Total 👍and 👏 on the douchbag and syphilis cakes. Awesome.
I hope the 3rd cake is just a humorous reference to Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon, "where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average." I hope....
Wow, I can't believe how mean-spirited these cakes are. it's difficult to say which one is the worst, but I think my vote would be: "Happy Birthday - We're disappointed in you". Who wants to receive THAT on your birthday, even if you are celebrating (???) your 34th birthday. Talk about a kick in the head.
If the “You are Tolerable” cake is a reference to Pride & Prejudice, then I am HERE FOR IT!
I think the "tolerable" line is a reference to "Pride and Prejudice", when Mr. Darcy insults Elizabeth behind her back.
With some tweaking, that poem makes a great Haiku:
You're tolerable.
You're slightly above av'rage.
You are Angela.
OMG my name is Angela and my bday is coming up. I swear if my family doesn't get me THIS cake!!😂
Lol I love these cakes. My birthday is getting closer so I will be avoiding ordering a birthday cake since I have a feeling a wreck is just waiting for me lol.
"You are tolerable.
You are slightly above average.
You are Angela." --- Aibileen Clark's less-positive cousin