All Intensive Purposes

It turns out there are some expressions people get wrong ALOT.

So as a public service, here's an easy guide to help you use those phrases correctly. After all, we'd hate to see you...

...hoisted by your own Picard.

[*snerk*]

Let's begin!

An irrelevant argument is a "moot point."

Whereas a cow giving directions is a "moo point."

When you want to end something before it has a chance to start, you "nip it in the bud."

Not the butt. And technically, I think those should be snipped.

(While we're at it, it's the "repository of knowledge," NOT "suppository.")

It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less."
But if you're still confused, try drawing a picture:

See how visuals can clear things up?

While we're on the subject, it's "exact" revenge, not "extract."

Either way, though, mission accomplished.

Never use "irregardless."

...unless it's part of the sentence, "Though she knew it would make her guests sick, she ordered the ear, regardless."

The old-fashioned curse is pronounced "doggone."
So try to avoid any versions rated "Arf."

Bow chicka BOW WOW.

And finally, when you really mess something up, you "wreak havoc," not "wreck" it.

o_O

Or on second thought, "wreck havoc" is perfect.

Thanks to Kelli G., Nikki D., Jenny C., Sherrie, Kathy S., Anony M., Megan N., and Frank W., who we would NEVER take for granite.

Note from john (thoJ)- We are aware that "ALOT" is wrong. It was a grammatical error joke in a grammatical error post. We even made it a link to the very funny Hyperbole and a Half post so people would know we were kidding. Have a nice night.

New Year's Aftermath

Ok, team, we still have some New Year's cakes left over, so let's do a big push this week to get these things off the shelves!

Bob, just say yours is a butterfly:

A drunk, drunk butterfly.

Cathy, yours are blue snails:

Er... right?

And Sheryl, for once your crappy handwriting is going to work for us:

After all, how do we know there isn't a racing holiday somewhere called "Siess Xeors?"

(Which reminds me, Sheryl, we really need to talk about these "diamond rings" you keep making. Seriously.)

Brent, your cake... um... what is it?

Brent: "It is... [looking at cake]
"It is... [sniffing cake]

"It is green."

Thanks, Brent.

Well, Cindy, at least we can all agree your design is always in demand:

Just keep the kids away, k? We have a reputation to consider.

Thanks to Debby G., Catie C., Veronica F., Wendy T., & Teresa C. for not gushing too much over the little squirts.