All Intensive Purposes
January 6, 2014 It turns out there are some expressions people get wrong ALOT.
So as a public service, here's an easy guide to help you use those phrases correctly. After all, we'd hate to see you...
;)
...hoisted by your own Picard.
;)
[*snerk*]
Let's begin!
An irrelevant argument is a "moot point."
;)
Whereas a cow giving directions is a "moo point."
When you want to end something before it has a chance to start, you "nip it in the bud."
;)
Not the butt. And technically, I think those should be snipped.
(While we're at it, it's the "repository of knowledge," NOT "suppository.")
It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less."
But if you're still confused, try drawing a picture:
;)
See how visuals can clear things up?
While we're on the subject, it's "exact" revenge, not "extract."
;)
Either way, though, mission accomplished.
Never use "irregardless."
;)
...unless it's part of the sentence, "Though she knew it would make her guests sick, she ordered the ear, regardless."
The old-fashioned curse is pronounced "doggone."
So try to avoid any versions rated "Arf."
;)
Bow chicka BOW WOW.
And finally, when you really mess something up, you "wreak havoc," not "wreck" it.
;)
o_O
Or on second thought, "wreck havoc" is perfect.
Thanks to Kelli G., Nikki D., Jenny C., Sherrie, Kathy S., Anony M., Megan N., and Frank W., who we would NEVER take for granite.
Note from john (thoJ)- We are aware that "ALOT" is wrong. It was a grammatical error joke in a grammatical error post. We even made it a link to the very funny Hyperbole and a Half post so people would know we were kidding. Have a nice night.
Reader Comments (73)
"Moo point. It's like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter."
-Joey (Friends)
The rest are just nightmare inducing.
BWEE-HEE-HEE!! The grammar nazi in me is pleased by this post. The cake-lover in me is recoiling slightly in horror that someone thought these were good ideas. Also, yay for Hyperbole and a Half!
http://youtu.be/cvzMON2dZMs
Ha, I totally heard in my head the "Let's begin!" as if Professor Elemental were saying it from Quest for the Golden Frog... (link is the song, may be very mildly NSFW if your coworkers dont like silly references to absinthe and such). Jen, I hope you're a Professor fan...
These cakes make me want to curl up into the feeble position!
@Fluffy Cow: I just saw that episode a few weeks ago. About lost it on that line.
Double yay for Hyperbole and a Half. My favorite is the Alot of Beer Cans.
I have always wanted a topsy-turvy cake. Until I saw that last one.
And that "boldly go" cake: Do I want to know what inspired someone to add those projectiles? No, on second thought, I just. . . . don't.
This is my favorite Cake Wrecks post EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First, I'm glad you included my favorite pet peeve, when people say "I could care less."
Second, perfect pictures and use of wrecks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Third, How on earth did you ever figure out that was supposed to be a cow?!?!
And finally, Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
Sad to admit that for years I thought it was "for all intensive purposes" until one day I saw it written down in a book...
What on earth, how some people thought of these is beyond me O_o although the science dork in me kind of likes the brain(cringes)
I really want to see the "request" picture for that last cake. Topsy-turvy becomes flopsy-scurvy with that one!
“Bow chicka BOW WOW” – Stewie at the race track?
as a grammar geek, I love, love, love this...! thanks for the laughter (which also helped warm me up...it's minus 14 here right now... excuse me while I go turn the heat up.....)
Yes, my inner grammar Nazi thanks you. But what on earth is that second one supposed to be? Why are all those straws coming out of a cake butt???
What on Earth is that thing next to the brain?? It looks like a male organ. I think. I don't want it to be.
Have a Dog Dong Day is going to make me giggle all day.
At least until I think about the melting brain O.O
Thanks Team!
The first one is actually a pig in cow's clothing.
I would truly love to be hoisted by my own Picard. Please.
I favor the cookie cake. It could be subtly yet brutally honest.
Aggiedog, I just logged back on to post that same question. And...I don't want it to be a male organ either!
First of all, Jean-Luc could carry me anywhere and I'd hardly complain at all *dirty-minded wink*. I knew someone who'd joined the National Guard, and reported home that his group had gone on "night removers" (secret code for "maneuvers", I guess)! I love stuff like this! My mom was a fan of Mrs. Malaprop, inventor of malapropisms. I just recently heard of something similar, called "Dogberryisms" , attributed to Shakespeare, but I'm not sure what they are. Anyone? =^~.~^=
Please block the vision of little kids before reading this. Blame the cake, not me.
Is "To that boldly go..." cake supposed to be the butt of a person with a serious case of pinworms or other similar parasite or an ejaculating member. Either way, it is downright gross.
These are GREAT! Although, I was hoping for a King Cake post o.0
eau d' ear.
that said, or more accurately typed, the 2013 dickerdoodle winners have been posted.
@JackieB-You took the words right off of my keyboard...
And the English teacher in me is saying, "Wait, actually, 'I could care less' and 'I couldn't care less' BOTH work." I could care less... but I don't. or I couldn't care less. :) I've been following that one for a long time.
When you find a good cake mistake for "verses" vs. "versus," put it on here! lol. That's the mix-up that always drives me completely crackers, especially because the people using it are usually trying to be really stuck-up about how professional-sounding their writing is. Well, they all drive me crackers. I love Cake Wrecks! Hurrah!
Oh my. I have no words. That is one waxy ear. Are those straws in the butt crack?
@mel-Your cold air should be hitting my neighborhood early tomorrow morning. Rather than cursing and moaning as I try to defrost my car door, I'm going to try saying, "good morning, mel!" That might just keep my blood pressure withing the normal range...
Cry havoc and release the frosting of war!
Great post. Two thumbs up.
Um... what is the.. I. UmKay. I think that is a placenta. 5th cake. Anyone? Placenta? Am I going crazy?
I can't help but wonder how the ALOT has been doing since 2010.
=^o.0^=
C'mon, you might damage the self of steam of the wreckerators.
I love, love, love it when my two "worlds" collide in a great post like this!!
I spent fifteen years as a cake decorator/bakery manager. I was published about six years ago and was recently able to quit my job and write full-time. I've always been a grammar nazi, regardless of my job, so the Hyperbole link was appreciated, too.
Thanks ALOT for the laughs!
Sorry. It's a lot, not alot. 😁
@Aggiedog and Jodi: maybe it's a dog dong?
Also, ALOT. <3
Hallo, @sendingtheclowns! Shakespeare tended to include the occasional comic-relief character in his plays, often working-class men who used rough speech and low humor. One such was Dogberry, who comes from Much Ado About Nothing. His main shtick was the malapropism--so a Dogberryism is pretty much just a malapropism, before Mrs. Malaprop was around to provide the name. :)
also yes so help me Picard can hoist me any place any time
*eyebrow waggle*
Well, I have been thinking about whether or not to say this but decided I would. But you can boo me if you like.
It's a lot.
Not alot.
You'd never write "alittle" (that's how I remember).
Carry on.
@sendintheclowns Dogberry is a character in Much Ado About Nothing. Think Michael Keaton in the Kenneth Branagh version, (Keanu Reeves doing Shakespeare!)
I'm assuming you made "a lot" one word on purpose. Trying to be funny, right?
I kind of liked the cow...cute enough yet could still eat.
I should have stopped reading there. Oh my eyes...eww. >.< :D
@HAL: "I'm afraid I can't care at all, Dave. I'm not human. I shouldn't even be using the word "afraid".- HAL (2000). (Now, that would really be crackers!)
@sendingtheclowns, Dogberry is a character in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. He uses malapropisms throughout such as: Comprehended for Apprehended and Dissembly for Assembly. If you haven't ever seen Much Ado you should find Joss Whedon's version where Nathan Fillion plays Dogberry. It is fantastic!
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
Ironic that you used it in a blog about misspelling and grammar. Ha!
Enact revenge, isn't it?
Love! Great job, CW Team!
Why were there straws in the butt? Is it fart?
Flatulence illustrated by straws? Odd! Maybe someone's having a colonoscopy, or performing them? I really cannot figure out the object next to the gooey, leaking brain. Any help? Thanks "alot" dog dong it. :)
@Sharyn, @Haiku Joy and all the rest of you in the Midwest, stay warm my friends!
Thanks, Elvenbookworm, kjo, and sandy!! Fascinating! (Methinks I have quite missed much of the *heat* the Bard radiated, by the sound of things!) =^~.-^=
Moot is a confusing word. You're using it as most people do now, to mean insignificant, or no longer relevant, but its original meaning was 'open for debate' or 'questionable' . Dictionary.com stills lists that as the first definition. In law it could also mean hypothetical. That may be how the meaning got so twisted around, if lawyers were raising hypothetical 'moot points' that had little to do with the case.
Am I really the only one who noticed Kilroy? It's unpossible!
#2: A cow with boobies? Someone needs to tell them that cows' udders are under their bellies.
#3: As disturbing as the message is --to baldly go where no maz has gore before (!?)-- what sort of occasion could possibly be appropriate for a naked-butt cake? And why would the naked-butt cake have straws sicking out of the anus?!
#5: This is your brain after seeing #4
...but really another "what were they thinking?" design.