How To Talk Like An Internet Pirate

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

And hey, you don't have to be a pirate in order to sound like one!

So here are a few handy phrases to help you fake it today:

- "You want to watch Game of Thrones? Because I have, like, ALL the episodes."

- "With this new Google Fiber, my download speeds are pushing 1.21 giga watts!"

- "Hey baby, you wanna engage in some peer-to-peer file sharing?"

BONUS FOLLOW UP: "It's not just a BitTorrent, girl, it's a BIG Torrent. Yeeeah."

- "Oh, you still pay for cable shows? That is adorable."

- "It's not stealing if you share!"

- "What?! DMCA takedown?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

- "Um, hello there, officer. Can we... help you?"

Thanks to Michelle D., Ginny V., Suzanne S., Anony M., Patti, Veda, & Roscoe for being such good mates today.

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To The Pain

These cakes have been left to wallow in their freakish misery forever, but we viewers are the ones who really suffer for it.

For example, tell me you don't get a brain-ache from trying to comprehend...

The cycloptic smiley clover of despair!!
(Now with matching ladybug!)

And that popping noise can mean only one thing:

"Pool Party Patty" has some serious 'splainin' to do.

You know what every caramel cheesecake needs?

Pretty much anything but large poo-swirls topped with plastic mold-specked hot dogs and hamburgers, that's what.

Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the little surfing 'dog on the left:

C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?

And lastly, check out what Amy S. got for her rehearsal dinner when she requested a simple sheet cake with a logo on it:

I don't know what that is either, Amy, but I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.

Moira & Stephanie E., these cakes are inconceivable.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.