The Cake Head Diet Aid: Killing Appetites Since 2007

We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?

Yes, it is!

Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!

That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!

Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:

"The children ran screaming - no sugar buzzed hellions at the reception! Thank you, Cake Head Diet Aid!"

"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"

"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"

As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPod earbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!

So girls, be kind to your guests waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!

Michelle D., I bet these work great at birthdays, too.

UPDATE: Alright, all you PhotoShop nay-sayers: there IS such a thing as edible image printing, mkay? I also verified that this came off a professional bakery's portfolio site, so chill wit' da hatin' , yo.

Mmmm, Chest Hair.

Janet T. provided the best portrayal I've ever seen of Tom Selleck in icing. (Well, ok, technically it's also the only portrayal of Tom Selleck in icing I've seen.) But that chest hair -- egads! Looks like Emma will be having a very "Hairy" birthday indeed. [shudder]

(UPDATE: This Wreck has been claimed! Thanks to baker Alicia for being such a good sport.)

If you prefer to be shot through the heart, though, you could request the "V-neck special" slice from this Bon Jovi cake:

Don't get me wrong; those frosted highlights are totally rad, dude, but, like, where's his nose? And those stars of David - Oy vay! Get me some bad medicine, stat; this cake is giving more than love a bad name*.

Hmm. You know, I'm thinking this post just isn't Wrecky enough. [Virtually rifling through submissions] AHA!! Here we go:

The best part? It's called a "Macho Man Cake". [Cue the Village People] That's right: it's not an 8-year old boy; it's a MACHO man. Who waxes. And, er, drools black stuff. And likes to lay in a bed of mustard. And has some serious groin grooming issues. And - oh, you get the idea.

*Mini Wrecks contest: whoever works the most Bon Jovi song titles into their comment wins! Not an actual prize or anything, you know; just fame and glory. ;)