And Now the Conclusion of The Spider Wreck Chronicles

Ok, I think yesterday's post was getting a little Wreck-less there, what with the cute dreadlocked spiders and all. Sorry. Here, this should help:

One smashed spider extraordinaire, coming up! Don't you just love those bloated little legs, the pimply red dots, and how they moved him after air-brushing the board? Oh, and just to mess with your sense of perspective: that red thing above the eyes is not another unibrow; it's his mouth.

I'll give you a moment to reorient yourself. (My ear hit my shoulder the first time, too.)

Now brace yourself, because next up is the most frightening Spider wreck I have ever seen.

Tell me that doesn't look like a demon-possessed Mr. Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street. Remember Snuffy?

That's truly terrifying, people. What next, a zombie Micky Mouse? Stop messing with my childhood icons!

Now, I'm told these cookie decorations are supposed to look like spiders on their webs:

But I'm pretty sure they're squashed ants on target boards. C'mon, four legs? How lazy are these decorators getting?

Of course, some err in the other direction:

That's 10 legs on the guy on the right. I'm also wondering if these spider puff balls are solid icing, 'cuz if they are then I couldn't think of a more appropriate inscription. Yeesh.

Thanks Caycee H., Shawn A., Kayla B., and Vanessa C.!

Ghosts with the Most

The most wreckiness, that is.

The label says "The 'Boo' Cake", but it looks more like a "boo-hoo" cake - that, or "when ghosts scream". I guess this is why ghosts shouldn't wear mascara, huh? (Get it? Ma-SCARE-a?)

Some say 'carpe diem' (seize the day) and others say 'carpe jugular' (seize the throat). I'm guessing these cupcakes are more the latter:

Huh - I've never seen ghosts with claws before.

The ghost on the left looks like a cheerleader with pom-poms. The ghost on the right looks...uh...[noting kids in the room] ....cheerful. Yeah. Like, giving you his full attention kind of cheerful.

These teeny-tiny "cupcake" creations are almost as bad as Cupcake Cakes. Not only do the bakeries leave the paper wrapper on the cupcake, but they also pile on enough icing to make even the most die-hard sugar addict develop a facial tic.

As for this particular Wreck, I have just three words: "albino squid mouth". And "ick". Ok, so maybe four words.

Thanks to Barbara A., Susan G., Heather A., and Punketta D.