Oh, Mama!

Who's ready for some life-sized, potentially-nightmare-inducing, definitely traumatizing, yet fortuitously-censored CAKE? Hmm?

Settle down, now, all of you; there's enough here for everyone:

(Heh, you guys thought the FIRST censored Cake Wreck was bad...)

What's that? What do you mean, you all only want a piece of the little birthday cake? You can't ALL have that: who's going to eat the legs? The belly? The.. er...tracts of land? C'mon, you'll love it: mama's made of red velvet!*

:)

Here's an even "better" angle:

John would like me to point out that this cake has teeth. And there are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.

Here's some good news, though: this wasn't for a baby shower! Yay! Nope, it was served at a birthing center event. As to why the "mom" has a cake in the tub with her, though - and in that particular spot - well, you got me. I'm just glad they didn't make it into an edible baby.
Also, I've heard of cakes sweating before, but this brings it to a while 'nother level. A really shiny, gross level.

I actually had this submitted twice, by both Gina & Jeanette E. Hey girls, I'm dying to know: did "mama" have any hair? I can't quite tell from the photos. (I mean on her HEAD, you sick people, you.)

* Ok, you got me: I don't actually know what kind of cake this was.

UPDATE: I too thought that they just left the "s" off "surprise" at first, but then it would have been "urprise", not "uprise". Unless they spelled it wrong, and THEN left the "s" off - hah, double wreck! Or, I suppose it could be the name of the center.

Mum's the Word

Wow, I'm almost sad it's Halloween; I have oodles more Halloween Wrecks to share! (So take note, Wreckporters: get your Thanksgiving Wrecks submitted early.)

Let's see, we've covered pumpkins and ghosts and spiders, but I feel like something's missing from our Halloween line up...

OH! I know! This is:

Erm.

Hey, John R.? What'd you say this was again? A mummy? [checking photo again] With a red hair bow? Seriously? Wait - that's a cookie! Does that even count?

Hm, well, let's see what Amanda M. dug up for us.

Amanda thought this was some kind of spiderweb, but my Wreck radar is telling me it was supposed to be a mummy head. It's also alerting me to the fact that this is a dreaded CCC, so we'd best move on.

Ok, here we go: that's actually recognizable. Kudos, Annie D.; I bet you never thought this would be the best looking one, huh? Still, I include it as a base of reference for this next one:

Yep, Stephanie S. reports that this was actually labeled "Mummy Cake". As opposed to "Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake".

And the award for "Least Effort Exerted in Making Overstocked Cakes into Halloween Cakes" goes to:

Like you, I thought that surely this design (found by Amy W.) was a one-store fluke. But then I got this from Jessica K.:

Ack! The smiley face mummies are everywhere! And they're surrounded by nuts!

Still, I don't think any of those Wrecks can compete with what Michael G. uncovered:

Words fail me. The stringy white stuff, the eyeballs, the two fingers...yep, I got nuthin'. Y'all will have to help me out here: what the heck is this? My best guess is a melted mummy, but I'm sure you guys can come up with something better.