Lord Of The Facepalms

Brandon wanted a Bunko-themed cake with three dice on it.

Danielle asked for "Linda" in white icing.

Francie ordered a 50th birthday cake for a friend, noting that she wanted to pick it up "today."

Kristin's friend ordered a cake that was supposed to read "Happy Mother's Day/Birthday" or "Happy Birthday/Mother's Day" - whichever the baker thought sounded best.

And finally, there were three choices of decorations on the order form: balloons, roses, or mums. Dee chose mums.

Thanks to Brandon M., Danielle J., Francie R., Kristin D., & D.R. for proving one does not simply order from a wreckery.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Here comes the bri...AAAAAUUGGHHH!!!

Brides these days. [shaking head] When the big day arrives, some of them can reeeally lose their heads, you know?

That's the wedding cake.

Uh, maybe I should give you a moment.

[whistling]

All better? Have all your co-workers/family members gathered around the screen in response to your shrieks? Good. 'Cuz I want to talk about the consultation that resulted in this cake. Do you suppose it went something like this?

Bride: I want my wedding cake to look like my dress.

Baker: Sure, no problem. You want it on a dress form?

Bride: [scoffing] Uh, no-oo! It has to be on a body. MY body.

Baker: Wait, you want a full cake statue of yourself? Like this? [shows photo of infamous bride cake]

Bride: Ew, no! Who'd want to eat my head or arms? That's gross.

Baker: [relieved] Oh, good, 'cuz for a second there...

Bride: So just leave my head and arms off.

Here's another view: The limbless bride surveying her domain.

As you can see, the bride (the headed one, I mean) thought it would be cute to put her veil on the neck stump after the ceremony. Which certainly adds...well, a veil to the neck stump.

But you know what my favorite part is? Go on, guess.

No, not that. Or that. Hah! Good point, but no. Look, I'll just tell you, shall I?

Ok, it's this: the shoulder stumpies look a lot like outstretched, plucked chicken wings to me. Here, look at the first photo again and tell me you don't see a plucked headless chicken in a dress trying to flap off to freedom:

Flap flap flap.

You see it, don't you?

And if not, rest assured Headless Plucked Chicken Bride will be seeing YOU - in your dreams.

Mwuh-ha-ha-haaa!

Sleep tight, Anony M.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: