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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries from February 1, 2019 - February 28, 2019

Tuesday
Feb192019

Literally Just That

Jill ordered a birthday cake for her daughter Hope, then told the bakery she'd be in around 1pm to pick it up.

Now, I've seen it all, minions, but even I was not prepared for these icing choices:

Why. WHY.

 

Ryan L. writes, "A theatrical show I had been on tour with was celebrating its millionth audience member. The company manager gave specific instructions on what the baker should write."

Huh. I tried to understand why the baker wrote "musical symbols" while also drawing musical symbols but then my brain started to hurt and I had to stop.

 

And finally, Kyle B. wanted "Happy Birthday" on a rainbow cake.

Just that.

He watched the baker carefully write it all down on the order sheet, then later.... he got this:

Now, if you're curious what, exactly, the baker wrote on Kyle's order sheet, then GUESS WHAT.

I have that, too.

YAAAAAASSS

::head tilt::

Yup, that definitely clears things up.

 

Thanks to Jill B., Ryan L., & Kyle B. for today's serving of Just iced.

(Ok, that pun didn't really work, but I tried, dangit. I TRIED.)

*****

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Monday
Feb182019

Battle Of The Yoda Dongs

Since I know you were wondering, minions: Yes, Saturday Night Live DID copy the cakes in last night's sketch:

It's a perfect wreck-plica!

That's a homemade wreck, though - as was the Cookie Monster - so obviously SNL didn't find those here.

Ahhh, but the last one? THAT was here first. In fact, I posted it all the way back in 2013, during the Andrew Weiner sexting scandal - remember that? Eesh.

Man, I loved that post, too. Cake dongs GALORE. It had to have a parental warning and everything - and you know those are the best ones.

So hey, in honor of SNL giving us the most accidental and unspoken shout-out ever, let's do this: let's rerun my original post, and have a BATTLE OF THE YODA DONGS. Awww yeeeeeah.

Hit it, John!

*****

Parental Note: In case the title didn't give it away, today's post is not appropriate for children. It's still safe for work, though.

 

Hallo, my succulent little cyber love bunnies. I... am Carlos Danger. And I have something to show you.

It's my wiener, doing a little dance. IF you know what I mean. [winkwink]

Oh, were you expecting something else? Something more... personal? Well, I'm sorry, my virtual vixens of viscosity, but I don't do that anymore.

That's right, I have changed my nasty, exhibitionist ways! Again! So, no more texted photos of Mr. Nozzle Nose - no sir! Now I will only be sending photos of pure, innocent, everyday smiley things.

Like these turtles:

 

Or these carrots:

 

Or the occasional attentive butterfly:

 

Or Thanksgiving turkey:

 

Or Christmas stocking:

 

Yes, instead of sharing my groinal glory with the world, I've come to appreciate travel:

 

And shooting hoops with the boys:

 

Fishing:

 

And even a little outdoor grilling:

 

Plus I've taken up baseball again:

 

 Have I mentioned I'm a big Star Wars fan?

I tell you all this, my comely constituents, because I want you all to know that, first and foremost, I am a patriot. A huge, upstanding, balls-to-the-wall, letting-it-all-hang-out, PATRIOT.

So, on behalf of both myself and my talented staff, allow me to end with this:

Oh, and if you could all just slip me your phone numbers on the way out, that'd be swell. Thx.

 

Thanks to Annette P., Courtney M., Jimmy L., Bijan P., Heather K., Alison L., C., Shelley C., Anony M., Peace, Trish, Gina S., & Jana C. for sharing phone pics we actually want to see. Mostly.

*****

And now a side-by-side, just cuz:

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? Visiting Amazon through that link will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

And from my other blog, Epbot: