Be Afraid. Be VERY Afraid.
October 30, 2013 What's scarier than all the Miley Cyrus costumes we'll see this Halloween?
An entire post of Halloween puns.
That's right, my friends. Brace yourself... for the pain.
***
What do you call trendy ghost detectives?
;)
"In" specters.
Why did the coven mess up the words to their potion?
They couldn't tell which witch was spelling which.
What do you call pink ghosts?
;)
Fa-BOO-lous!
Why did the skeleton go to a BBQ restaurant?
;)
For the spare ribs.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf with an eagle?
;)
A real birdbrain who's all bark and no flight.
And now, your moment of Jen:
Despite everyone's efforts, nothing could lift Stanley's spirit.
He drifted through the day, a mere ghost of his former self.
;)
Thanks to Anony M., Laury S., Sarah Beth, Joy S., Janice C., Lynn M., & Andrea T., who would like to point out that the ghost clan is not amused:
;)
"We're watching you. Aaaaaalways waaaatching."
Reader Comments (54)
I wish that skeleton would grow a backbone!
YAY, first comment! Now to read the post!
At least the pink ghosts don't have to worry about Pac Man right now. But I'm sure whoever eats the cookie needs to eat a power pellet first.
http://arcadeheaven.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/nes_ms_pac_man_ghost-copy.jpg
Are you implying that Pinky the ghost is a guy now?
Oh lord the spare ribs and ghost of his former self BWHAHAHAHAHA XD
Awww! I love the little whatevers on the last cake. I guess they weren't quite sure whether they wanted to be snowy trees, or ghosts. ("Brrrr...oo?")
ROFL! Not amused ghosts!!!!
Boil, boil, toil and trouble.
To hell with Shakespeare. His rhymes and meter aren't as good as mine anyway. Here, have some cake.
The pink ghosts are "fab - boo - LESS"! Ha!
Poor Stanley...not able to get into the spirit of Halloween.
On #3, are the other two ghosts smirking at the first one because it has no eyebrows and a very weird mustache?
This reminds me of Trick or Treating as a kid in St. Louis in the late 70s/early 80s. We would go to a house and yell, "TRICK OR TREAT!!" The homeowner would then ask, "What's your trick?" We would then have to tell a joke (usually as "pungent" as these!) or do a trick to get candy!
Once you reached a certain maturity level and could no longer remember any CLEAN jokes, you knew you were too old to Trick or Treat anymore!
I tell this to my friends in Illinois now and they look at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears! Apparently they had it easy and didn't have to EARN their candy.
Thanks for the flashback!
Hee Jen, very punnilicious! I kinda liked some of those til I got to the werewolf one. Then I had to stare at it awhile for my brain to figure out what was going on in the head area. I finally decided A) Jen is right -- looks like a cross between an eagle and a werewolf; and B) It also looks like it has mountain goat horns.
I like the last cake; I think it's cute and non-wrecky. Those wide-eyed merangue-like ghosts!
Well, I was prepared for today. I'd already taken my Advil and muscle relaxers -- hurt my back really bad yesterday. So by the time I eased into my chair, I could handle it. Too bad I didn't have those meds before Friday's post. . . . .still recovering. . . . .
I guessed the second and fourth ones correctly!
That poor wolfleagle. He looks like he was halfway through his transition from human to werewolf and got stuck.
I want the ghosts in the donuts, even the deflated ones. Donuts and frosting and MORE frosting? BOO-tful!
I don't know how you do it every day - but you always make me laugh! I love starting my day with cake wrecks and robot! Thank you!!
Are we completely sure the first ones are "ghosts".... They look a little suspect in the way they are swimming to the egg...errr...moon....
That skeleton cake is the greatest thing I have ever seen and I want to hang it on my wall.
Aww, that last one is kind of cute. One suspects the candy corn, pumpkins and color scheme will change in oh, about two months, and with less snow on the "trees".
And Ed, you weren't the only one who had to earn their candy. You should have seen what my mother put the other kids through. I'm surprised they kept coming back year after year.
Perhaps the fa-boo-lous pink ghost sisters should pay poor Stanley a visit....
Thank you for the Halloween puns, and for all your puns, really. The use of puns dates back to the dawn of time. A prehistoric cave painting, perhaps the first example of a pun, has recently been decoded. In it, one cave man asks another cave man why the Tyrannosaurus always destroys everything. The other caveman responds simply, “Tyrannosaurus wrecks.” (International Journal of Laughable Linguistics, Vol. XXC, Fall, 2013, “Earliest Use of Groan-Inducing Word Play?” by Tom Foolery)
As primitive as this may be, it clearly shows that humor – and puns – played an important role in the development if civilization. In fact, most people don’t know this, but the word “pun” is derived from the Italian phrase ”parta universala natura,” (later shortened to P.U.N., and then just pun) which, loosely translated, means “part of universal nature,” or inherent in one’s being. That is, the urge to make puns is carried within our DNA – it’s in our genes (unless you have stone-washed genes, in which case it was beaten out). In fact, recent studies have shown that even animals have the urge to make puns – ask a dog what’s on a house and he’ll go “roof.” So, we all carry the inherent ability to pun!
Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates a good pun (which, of course is redundant). We can only hope that medical science will soon find a cure for that. In the meantime, we’ll just have to humor them.
@ SuBee and @ Jen: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
thank you ladies
Awwww..Stanley makes me sad.
And boil boil toil and trouble? Me thinks someone needs to go back a read The Scottish Play again.
As long as we're sharing, here's one of my favorite jokes in the whole wide world:
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He orders a pitcher of beer and a mop.
If I return to earth as a ghost, please oh please oh please let me haunt a chocolate glazed chocolate doughnut!
@Ed: This was true for me as a kid growing up in Wisconsin, too, in the '50's. Fortunately, my Dad had such a huge repertoire of puns and jokes that he told us (again and again) that we were well prepared. In my adult years, when kids came to the door and said Trick or Treat, once in a while I'd say, "I'll take a treat." Sometimes, after a moment of hesitation, the kids would reach into their bags and hand me candy.
I think the coven is trying to cook Kermit and that's just not ok O.O
@Isolder74 ~ I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought of Pac Man!
@sending ~ "the little whatevers" made me giggle :-)
I want to take poor Stanley home and try to cheer him up. Maybe he could watch Christmas movies with me tomorrow night?
They DO look rather like Roz, don't they?
On that last one, is it just me or does that look like a border of sleeping swan necks?
Ya know, this post looks like it is in desperate need of one of Craig’s Lists. But Craig has been indisposed of late, so without further ado…
1. Cake (er, Cookie) #1 – Hmm…since when do ghosts go ghosting in daylight? And skinny knife-y, sickle-y ghosts @ that? Sprinkle content is sufficient but uneven, but the poo-fence leaves much to the imagination…are they in the desert? Home on the range, maybe?
2. Well, the purple border is a nice touch. The cloud is nicely puffy but it looks like someone plopped on a cosmetic cotton ball. And just what is that monster supposed to be?! Doing the backstroke in the cauldron? Heck, finish the cauldron. I didn’t even realize it was there in airbrushed form until I took a closer look… OK, bakers, listen up. If it ain’t showin’ up, at least OUTLINE IT so we know what’s there, K? THX. (And work on your flames while you’re at it. These look like Cheez-Whiz with pimentos…)
3. Hmmm…very plain, but at least it’s a chocolate chip cookie. Perhaps the pink means these ghosts also support the fight against breast cancer – both men and women can get it, which explains why the guy ghost on the left is wearing pink…or he just likes pink…whatever.
4. Yep, that skeleton needs some ribs. And bakers should not bake with cosmetic supplies like this Q-tip and the aforementioned cotton ball. Geez, leave those over in the beauty section next to the pharmacy where they belong. And that gray sky clashes with the orange border – check your color wheel before frosting, ok?
5. Cute idea, nicely applied frosting, but please practice your wolves. I’m a geneticist and I’m telling you – even the most ardent frankenfood/animal creator among us would never create this! It’s inhumane…
6. Poor little guy, I think he’s just lonely. All the other ghosts are hangin’ and ghostin’ and they’ve ostracized him. If I was there, I’d buy him & eat him so he’d feel better…HEY! Get your mind out of the gutter! It’s just a lousy doughnut! (Gosh, I miss doughnuts. Do you know how hard it is to find/make a good gluten-free/allergen-free doughnut?!)
7. The similarity between the ghosts’ eyes and the chocolate beads on the bottom makes that cake look like it sees all, ALL the time. Reminds me of a close up pic of a scallop’s mouth – its ‘eyes’ (visual sensors) are literally on the edge of its mouth (shells)! Creepy! But on the bright side, after Halloween, I think this baker will poop, er, pop out some nice Christmas tree cakes, yes?
(Yes, it is probably not up to Craig’s standards, but hey, I’m a martial artist, not the Craig-ster… ☺ )
Where is Craig, you ask? Well, he & Theardare have been spending looong hours in the Bunker’s basement. It seems that the Trolls have been more active lately and Theardare wants to ramp up Room 101. Thankfully, I have not been asked to assist. (Whew! I guess Theardare doesn’t trust me after catching me setting up those the horny toad experiments…) But both Un-See Machines (standard & portable) are available…though I probably should have reminded everyone of that before last Friday’s post. And with Craig busy, perhaps he won’t notice if I start collecting a small fee… ☺ KarateLady’s Daughter’s college fund can always use a few more donations. (I missed out on that Banksy deal in Central Park, darn it!)
Thanks for the birthday smiles! I love Halloween and these spooky wrecks are perfect! :)
I hope I am not the only one who saw a Doctor Who reference in that last line!! (That episode was just hilarious with Billie trying (and failing) to use a Scottish accent!)
Hilarious Halloween posts! At least the pink ghosts don't have to worry about Pac Man.
OMG, @Just Andrea, it does INDEED look like a sleeping swan neck border! And @TLC, I wanna come eat doughnuts and frosting and more frosting with you! Hope your back feels better soon. I had to take my best friend to the ER for the same reason this week. She said it was worse than labor pains. I think frosting definitely helps to cure that, don't you?
Is it just me or does the ghost in the background to the left of Stanley look a little like Ursula from the little mermaid?
http://preview.tinyurl.com/234yolt
That guy to the back left of Stanley looks just so shocked!! And that chick next to him (I assume it's a female ghost, it appears there are eyelashes on the eyes) seems equally in awe with the wide-eyed stare. Perhaps Stanley has done something, well...shocking, and is now all forlorn over it. He is awfully far away from his friends there....awww, poor Stanley, now I'm feeling bad for him!
This awesome post reminded me of a favorite (not-really-Halloweeny) joke:
What happened to the cannibal who came home late for dinner?
He got the cold shoulder.
Why are those overly flocked Christmas trees with left over Halloween decorations under them staring at me?
Thanks, @Karate Lady. I couldn't figure out that second cookie cake at all. I didn't notice a cauldron until you pointed it out!
I'll gladly take that last cake though, even with the snowy tree ghosts, sine those candy pumpkins are one of my favorites.
Thanks for the smiles, I was in need of some happiness today! Have a great Halloween!
Brava, Jen! :D a post of puns was just what I needed.
@mel and KarateLady (standing ovation)
Aww the poor skeleton lol. And that ghost wow poor flattened guy. I would however still eat the doughnut mwhahahahahhaa lol.
Totally missed the cauldron until it was pointed out.
Stanley is beside the point: chocolate donut with chocolate glaze, yum!
@Nagzilla - good one. At least he cleans up his own messes. ;)
Ok, I think I've got an explanation for the pink ghosts. Or their facial expressions anyway. They must be a family and the one with the eyebrow/mustache (eyestache?) actually drew it on playing with mommy's eyebrow pencil. Mommy just looks half bemused/half proud at Little's, erm, creativity, and Daddy, or maybe big brother, is smirking at how much Little is going to get laughed at.
Or did I put too much thought into that?
Here in Iowa kids are supposed to tell jokes before they can get their candy on Halloween (well, actually Beggar's Night, which is the night before Halloween...Yeah, I don't get it either...) I grew up in Minnesota where we had blizzards on Halloween and had to wear our costumes over our heavy winter coats and snowpants...Halloween 1991 anyone?
The saying is Trick OR Treat, not Trick FOR Treat. That is why your adult frieds saw lobsters.
Whoever asked for a trick first was, without intending to, asking for the usual tricks played on non-treaters, like toiletpapering the premises or shaving cream on the windows! Now that is nasty.
@Barbara Anne: thanks, and it's good to see you here again!!!! (standing, clapping, big smile)
@mel - Pun perfection. Thank you.
Jen - You are the wind beneath our wings. Great job!
Hilarious
thanks @Karate Lady for pointing out the cauldron. I thought cake 2 was a group of random objects -orange chrysanthemum, white powder puff, egg yolk and some weird creature whose face had melted into a puddle of chocolate pudding.
@lisadh: you're welcome...and thank you!
@Barbara Anne - Goodness! You think so?! Aww... Thank you! (And as mel said, good to see, uh, hear, no, READ you here again! ;-)
Mah-velous, dah-ling. Simply mah-velous.
My boyfriend is from St Louis and told me the same thing about having to tell jokes for candy! I'm from the Illinois side (no, not Chicago...there's more to IL than Chicago, people!) and had never heard of this tradition. Lol!