Transformers Going Down in Flames

I recently got an e-mail from Chunks the Pioneer, who told me she is a HUGE Transformers fan, and naturally went to the first 11:59 PM showing of Transformers 2. She also said,

"After seeing it [the movie] I got to thinking, why haven’t we seen any Transformer wrecks in honor of this occasion??? Please don't make me beg!"

Well, Chunks - may I call you Chunks? - first and foremost, I find it interesting that seeing Transformers 2 made you want to see (other?) things that are poorly made.

Hah! I kid, I kid. (Or do I?)

That said, I'm happy to share my extended collection of Transformers Wrecks with you. 'Course, you'd think there would be several Transformers cake kits out by now, but no, there's still just the one:

As you can see they spared no expense with it, though. Why, that piece of cardboard is actually printed in color.

The best thing about this design, however, is that no Wreckerator on earth can replicate it. It's true. "Pointy" is simply beyond this groups' skill set:

Optimus Prime battles the red fingers of doom.

Optimus Prime battles the great ketchup spill of '09.

Oh, wait, I take it back: this Wreckerator did manage "pointy":

But with fronds like those, who needs anemones? Eh? Eh?

And lastly, my favorite:

Mmm. Speckly.

Interestingly enough, this Wreckerator's '72 Pinto has those exact same flames airbrushed on the front bumper. Which is pretty darn ironic, if you think about it.

Hey Meagan D., Misty M., Alicia A., & Barbara N., what do you call an Autobot in denial?
Answer: A boat!

(Get it? Denial? De- Nile? The river? Yeah, us ex-JC skippers rule, thankyouverramuch.)

- Related Wreckage: Optimus Wrecks

UPDATE: My apologies to Chunks the Pioneer, who I mistakenly assumed was a guy, since she is, in fact, a girl. And thanks for having such a great sense of humor about it, Chunks. ;)

This One's For The Ladies

(NOTE: For the ladies, not the kiddies. Still SFW, though.)

NASA wanted to do something special for all the lady astronauts of the world:

And by "special", I mean something big, flaccid, curving to the right, poised to explode into the dark recesses that are out of this world, and that says "Women in Space: We've Come A Long Way".

[biting lip] Wow. So many innuendo-laced jokes, so little time. And if my mom didn't read this blog (Hi, Mom!), you can bet I'd be saying something about the fallacy that men can't organize - much less erect - a project of this size. Or how nice it is to see NASA giving women the upper hand in the space program, so that they, too, can get ahead. In fact, I'd probably wonder aloud if it wasn't rather cold in the exhibit hall, if that wouldn't put too fine a point on it.

However, since my mom *does* read this blog (Hi, Mom!), all I'm going to say is this, and to the cake creator: don't take my good-natured ribbing too hard. The fact that you got a government agency to pay for your services makes you a Wreck star.

And for you deprived souls who didn't get the FotC reference, watch this:

- Related Wreckage: Dirty-Minded Decorators

UPDATE: For you doubting Thomases calling "photoshop" and getting John all aggravated, here's another photo of the same cake:

Source

John is so ridiculously happy about the discovery of this second photo that he's currently singing "Don't Worry, There's Another Shuttle Photo, Be Happy" while I'm typing.

Clearly, I need to get him out of the house more.