Transformers Going Down in Flames
June 26, 2009 I recently got an e-mail from Chunks the Pioneer, who told me she is a HUGE Transformers fan, and naturally went to the first 11:59 PM showing of Transformers 2. She also said,
Well, Chunks - may I call you Chunks? - first and foremost, I find it interesting that seeing Transformers 2 made you want to see (other?) things that are poorly made.
Hah! I kid, I kid. (Or do I?)
That said, I'm happy to share my extended collection of Transformers Wrecks with you. 'Course, you'd think there would be several Transformers cake kits out by now, but no, there's still just the one:
As you can see they spared no expense with it, though. Why, that piece of cardboard is actually printed in color.
The best thing about this design, however, is that no Wreckerator on earth can replicate it. It's true. "Pointy" is simply beyond this groups' skill set:
Optimus Prime battles the red fingers of doom.
Optimus Prime battles the great ketchup spill of '09.Oh, wait, I take it back: this Wreckerator did manage "pointy":
But with fronds like those, who needs anemones? Eh? Eh? And lastly, my favorite:
Mmm. Speckly.Interestingly enough, this Wreckerator's '72 Pinto has those exact same flames airbrushed on the front bumper. Which is pretty darn ironic, if you think about it.
Hey Meagan D., Misty M., Alicia A., & Barbara N., what do you call an Autobot in denial?
Answer: A boat!
(Get it? Denial? De- Nile? The river? Yeah, us ex-JC skippers rule, thankyouverramuch.)
- Related Wreckage: Optimus Wrecks
UPDATE: My apologies to Chunks the Pioneer, who I mistakenly assumed was a guy, since she is, in fact, a girl. And thanks for having such a great sense of humor about it, Chunks. ;)
Reader Comments (84)
I see following directions doesn't always produce results!
Why is Optimus driving toward the fire, anyway?
You were a JC skipper! Awesome!
"But with fronds like those, who needs anemones? Eh? Eh?"
OMG!!! Hilarious! Sorry, that one really gave me the giggles! But those cakes- so horrible, seriously, can't they learn how to make points? What's so hard about POINTS?!?
DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/
While not total wrecks, it is disturbing to see how many people can't get car flames right.
Hahahahahaha with fronds like these, who needs anemones!
That's A material.
"who needs anemones?" ROFL!
"who needs anemones?" ROFL!
WV: guily: Oh, stop looking so guily, Marlin. You didn't lose Dory. And you'll find Nemo. Honest.
The awesomeness of this site went through the roof with the revelation that you were a JC Skipper!
anemones... Ha!
The second-last one looks like it's been topped with chillies...
Those are, uh, nice. Yeah, lets go with nice.
Wasn't there a Hot Wheels design quite similar to this? Or was that post Transformers too? I am too lazy to go look. ha
Becky
Awesome fronds and anemones pun. I love it!
okay not to get really graphic but my son had the very top Transformers cake for his bday last year and it turned his poop blue for a week ! lol
(and the Optimus Prime toy broke right away)...
g/
Somebody please tell me that there are some Michael Jackson wrecks floating around out there that we'll be seeing in the next few days.
...Please?
Fronds? No way. The Teletubbies just learned how to make it straight instead of coiled.
I'm ignorant of the Transformer's world. Which is fine by me.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Honestly, if it wasn't for the ever-so helpful sign, I would have assumed those were Hot Wheels cakes......
Love the Finding Nemo reference!
And as I was one of the suckers who went and saw the midnight opening show, I can tell you that these wrecks are far more entertaining than the movie itself.
Can we call this collection "More than SHOULD meet the eye"?
io9 has a bunch of nerdy cake toppers, including quite a few Transformers ones here: http://io9.com/5302300/nerdiest-wedding-cake-toppers-we-adore . I'm pretty sure the one of Optimus Prime and Smurfette qualifies as a wreck.
Hahahahahaha "anenomes" hahaha... oh gosh I know its a bad joke, but it made me CRACK UP! :-) Thanks.
Ha ha! I love the first one, it makes me think of the robes on "Manos, Hands of Fate"!!
(MST3K FTW!)
I thought that the pointy one looked more like the Cracken! Let's mix Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbean!
I've often said that being a JC Skipper is my dream job. You just gained a zillion cool points.
I work in a supermarket bakery, and I can assure you, there's a new kit for the sequel.
Of course, Bakery Crafts doesn't have it listed on their site. Boo.
All it is is 2 tiny sculpted plastic figures and a plastic lay-on. The design... is gray gears on a slightly less gray background. It has great wreck-potential.
Love the fronds/anemones crack! (Does it come on a t-shirt?) I nearly swallowed my gum trying not to laugh out loud in my cubicle at that one. You have my undivided daily vote at Blogluxe.
Marcy
These are beyond awful! You'd think the cake designer would come up with some kind of template so that the design could be easily replicated.
If you took the truck off that second one & added some tropical fish it would look like coral.
oh, dear. That is just... sad... all of them.
really? no MJ tribute today? come on, jump on the bandwagon.
Agree with Brittanica- although we got silver airbrush paint. Silver. Wonder what that does to your poop.
Love the Finding Nemo quote!
Oh, my well...I guess in these examples, lazy decorators rule.
The one with the really pointy flames is well done except for all the junk on top, which I can't stand on any cake...unless it's fabricated by the decorator and it's all edible !
Hey, I think we should be THANKING Publix for all of these special Wrecks. There's hardly a birthday party we attend these days that isn't made just a little bit happier with a Publix disaster. And even their website keeps in theme - only true Wreckerators can cross over to web design and misspell the word "Lightning" as "Lightening," and "Scooby Doo" as "Scooby Do," as you prepare to pony up your $50 online. What would we do without Publix?
You were a JC skipper! That's so awesome! It's also unsurprising with your ability to pun.
Even something that simple gets borked. Amazing. How come these no-talent hacks have jobs while talented people languish unemployed?
VW: woringu
I'm woringu, do NOT order cakes from Wal-Mart.
Not a transformers fan, but the Finding Nemo refference made this whole post worth reading.
YOU WERE A SKIP??? No wonder you rule....
It's a dream of mine... to introduce people to the legendary.... front side of rock :)
I love going to grocery stores looking for wrecky cake! Even with plastic decorations things still seem to go horribly wrong...
I love your site!!!
You were a JC Skipper? So was one of my best friends. She's working elsewhere for the mouse these days.
Coming out from lurking to also chime in that "But with fronds like those, who needs anemones? Eh? Eh?" is pure awesomeness.
Ok, the fronds and anenomes joke was officially the funniest thing you've ever said. Clever doesn't cover it.
Speaking of which, that one is the only cake I wouldn't immediately send back to the bakery!
What is a JC skipper?
Nice pun!
My son had this cake 2 years ago for his birthday and the store who made it (starts with a Wal and ends with a Mart) did a great job in my opinion...Considering....It was definitely better than the ones you just showed..LOL
So I've got to ask, on the sample cake are the flames Fondant/ They look to me like Fondant cut from a template.
Oh, and given the sell by date, I assume this is pro:
http://www.btinternet.com/~mighty.maximal/Transformers-Cake.jpg
The Wreckorators certainly got "the touch"...of disaster. o.o
(Bahahha, G1 TF reference. SCORE.)
The speckly description for the last one is perfect! I totally started laughing out loud because I couldn't have described it better myself!
Dude, you were a JC skipper? That is truly awesome! Speaking of which, I've been reading the blog for a little while, and I haven't seen a post dedicated to Disney themed wrecks! Maybe I have to dig a bit deeper into the archives. But if not... there should be one :P