A Teaching Moment

Created to commemorate the students and teachers that make our communities proud, today's cakes truly deserve to be in a class of their own.

Ah, you can always count on teachers to critique your work.
Just be glad they couldn't find the red gel icing.

Who knew that the HoFsTra STudenrT GoveraNeNT AssoCiaTion were such big fans of croquet?
(I think my spell check just exploded.)

Oddly enough, I believe "Happy School Social" was the name of my 3rd grade dance. Yep. Slightly sad, awkward spaces, the occasional glaring failure...gee, there are all kinds of parallels going on here.

Hey, "Alumni Mentors," thanks SOOO much for everything. You're really "great." We are SOOO "glad" you could teach us how to "communicate" properly.

And lastly....

A certain school was celebrating great scores on the TAKS, which I believe is some kind of state-mandated testing like the FCAT, which we all know teachers everywhere adore and wish they had more of. Anyway, the cake was supposed to say "Congratulations for doing an exemplary job on TAKS", and the woman ordering asked that "TAKS" be in all capital letters.

Here's what they got:

"Congratulatiun for doing and Exernplary Jabon TAKS Capitol Letter"

That'll be $44.99, please!

Many thanks to Brittany S., Stephanie W., Sarah M., Mary R., & Vanessa for the "exernplary" wreckporting.

- Related Wreckage: Ode to Irony

Look Out, Germany

I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty much an expert on the German language. Yep. Two point five years of public high school German right heeere, playah! In fact, I would be saying all this "auf Deutsch," but I don't want to dazzle y'all with my linguistic...um...awesomeness.

Anyway, I mention this because today's Wreck is so hilariously horrendous that I may have to lapse into German to adequately describe it.

Ready?

Here goes:

Gross unpassend fliegend Fekalie-Kuchen!
Taschenrechner!!
Wo IST die Toiletin? Fahrvergnügen?
Ich bin ein Berliner! Schnell! Schnell!

Ahem. Well, I think that gets the point across.

It should be noted that the cake was supposed to read, "Germany, HERE we come!" (Ah, those pesky, hilarity-inducing homonyms.)

Whether the cake was supposed to look like a baked poo souffle with a side of #2 nuggets, however, is anyone's guess. (Although I'm guessing "no.")

Hey, Sarah R., keep it down, will ya?

- Related Wreckage: Oh, It Sends a Message, Alright

Note from john: Since I don't sprecht Deutsch, I don't know what half of you are saying. Please, no clever Germanic cussing. There's probably at least one German kid that reads this blog. Dunker Shane.