John's Birthday Suit

It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)])...but...um...where was I?

Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!

I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.

[eyebrow waggle]

Look! A misspelling!

I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.

Isn't this called an oxymaroon?

Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.

See what I mean? Now, all together: "Grrrreet job, don-kay!"

This one also seems a little contradictionary:

"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"

And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...

Listen! Do you smell Epcot?

And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...

...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.

Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.

John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]

John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.

And now, because it's my brithday, I want to give you something special. Yes, that's right: John wants to give you something.

[duckface]

[Barry White music]

Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:

Cake Wrecks stuff!

So, leave me a comment, and I'll pick the sexiest two to win personalized copies of Cake Wrecks. (I'll even let Jen sign 'em.) The next sexiest two will win Cake Wrecks wall calendars.

In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.

Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.

Prime Candidates

The following are paid political advertisements by the candidates for East Paulsbo Bakery Oversight Commissioner, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Cake Wrecks or its affiliates.

Friends, when you go to vote tomorrow, consider this: do you want someone loyal, trustworthy, and true overseeing your county bakeries?

"These glasses show I'm smart AND intelligent."

Someone with a firm grip on his patriotism?

"They call me...Blue Steele."

OR....do you want Gretchen Schankhausen?

[Pyscho music]

Ernie Snerdbergler: "I'm Ernie Snerdbergler, and I speak for you, the American people. I stand against plastic flotsam and terrorism. Unlike my opponent, Gretchen Shankhoosier, who I hear speaks French.

So tomorrow, choose hope. Choose AMERICA. Choose...Ernie Snerdbergler.

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Gretchen Schankhausen believes all children should be happy on their birthdays. Not so with Ernie Snerdbergler, who, in case you haven't noticed, has "bergler" in his name.

Do you want a burglar in charge of your bakery oversight advisory boards? Of course you don't.

Gretchen Schankhausen is a life-long baker, community activist, and volunteer frog neuterer.

That shows how responsible Gretchen Schankhausen is. Gretchen Schankhausen cares.

Tomorrow, vote for cake. Vote against robbery. Vote...for Gretchen Schankhausen.

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Gretchen Schankhauser loves devil's food.

Gretchen sound bite: "Oh, Devil's food is my favorite!"

Ernie Snerdbergler, however, loves children, decency, and the American way. Ernie Snerdbergler KNOWS America.

Just look at this video clip of Ernie Snerdbergler playing catch with children on a playground, surrounded by more children, who clearly adore him, and also kittens. Lots and lots of kittens. Clearly, he is the only *safe* choice for your county bakery commissioner.

This November, vote against the devil. Vote for kittens. Ernie Snerdbergler: 'cuz kids love him.

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A "bergler" is trying to steal Gretchen Schankhausen's good name. However, you should know that Gretchen Schankhausen is actually an angel in disguise.

Woodland creatures love Gretchen Schankhausen. Gretchen Schankhausen once healed a blind man by accidentally sneezing on him. Honest.

Plus, Ernie Snerdbergler eats babies for breakfast.

That's a fact.

Note: the above statement has not been proven to be factual.

So tomorrow, if you ever want a disguised angel to sneeze on you, or if you don't want your babies eaten, then vote for Gretchen Schankhausen.

Kit, Kaitlin W., Caitlyn P., Shannon K., Bonnie, Allison, Aimee, & Sarah, just think: after tomorrow, no more campaigning!

Yep, I'll eat cake to that.