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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Feb132012

Have a "Heart"

To top that oh-so-sweet Valentine I wrote you yesterday, I've decided that today I shall serenade you. Yep. Full-on karaoke style, bebeh.

And since you can't actually hear me, it's your choice whether I sound like Celine Dion or non-auto-tuned Trololo guy for this song. I say go with your gut. Or whichever offends your eardrums more.

Ready?

To the tune of "My Heart Will Go On." (Sorry.)

[hem hem hem]

 

[stretching out on baby grand piano]

Every sight brings more screams,

I see you, I feeeear you.

That is how I know you...wreck on.

[squinting sexily]

Far from being mere chance,

That face is so squeeeemish!

You have come to show you...wreck on.

[rolling onto belly]

Guts? Scars? What-EV-er you are!

I can see that the dog did "GO" ON.

[duckface]

Once... more... you're DROPPED to the floor!

And you're back to the start 'cuz...

Your "art" will wreck on and on!

[dramatic swelling]

[plus the music gets louder]

Yooooou're HEEEERE!

You're DRINKing a BEER!

And I KNOW that this heart is... all wroo-oong:

[ripping off Snuggie to reveal white Elvis jumpsuit]

Some SAY... "all plastic? NO WAY!"

But the flotsam's a start and

Your cheesecakes are saaaadly all gone!

[Big finish involving sparklers, a bucket of glitter, & a live platypus]

[make that a stuffed platypus]

[and nix the sparklers]

[Ok, so basically it's a stuffed platypus dunked in glitter.]

 

Thanks to wreckporters Chris H., Emily S., Sarah R., Kristina S., Sarah S., Larissa F., Venieca, & Marisa L. for helping me realize that every pre-schooler who can successfully draw a heart is a frickin' genius.

Sunday
Feb122012

Sunday Sweets: Be My Valentine?

Today I got you a very special valentine. Yes, you. No no, not you - YOU. [waggling eyebrows]

Now, it might look like a regular Sunday Sweets post, but it's filled with awesome Valentines cakes. Just the way you like. Yep. (Who loves ya? Huh?)

Check it out. This one says, "I'm wild about you, Valentine!"

By Kakes by Karen

I think it's also saying "Eat me!" - but in a really polite way.

 

This one is for that adorable nickname I gave you:

By CakeCentral member Miranda1987

"Curly cherry stem."

 

And I know how much you like Snoop Dog, so...

By Blue Cupcake by Julie

You're welcome.

 

Remember that time we released a single balloon at the park, and stood together watching it rise and rise as it drifted off into the rich red sea of the sunset?

No?

Oh.

Well, this is pretty anyway:

By hello naomi

Simple perfection.

Just like you.

(D'awwww.)

 

If I had the time, ability, or inclination to hand form and dye hundreds of tiny sugar hearts, and then apply them one-by-one to a beautiful cake, it would never look this good:

By Erica O'Brien Cake Design, tutorial for sugar hearts here

But I like to think it'd still make you smile.

 

Boxes of chocolates are sweet, but you know what's even sweeter?

By Baking Obsession

Boxes of chocolates that let you EAT THE BOX.

And from now on I've giving every box lid a test nibble, just for you.

 

Speaking of edible, you're not going to believe this, but you can eat this lace:

By For The Love of Cake

Well, and not choke on it, I mean. That is, it's supposed to be eaten. Wowza. Can you imagine if ALL lace was edible?

Er....oh.

On second thought, never mind. (Hi, kids!)

 

Ah, here's just the Sweet we need to rescue my dignity:

By Truly Custom Cakery

That is some serious swag.

 

Of course, the best Valentines always celebrate what's *inside*:

By Bakingdom

And this makes my technicolor heart oh-so happy.

 

Speaking of which, you know I have to give you a Valentine that reflects my geeky side, too, right?

By Cakes by Katherine

Just try not to read too much into the red-shirt thing.

 

Sub'd by Lisa R., made by SugarRushTreats

I call these, "Love Bytes."

(Heehee!)

 

And finally, the ultimate expression of love and companionship:

By Cloudy Cakes

And that's no lie.

Have a great Valentines this week, Valentines!

 

Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it to Sunday Sweets (at) Cake Wrecks (dot) com.