Sunday Sweets: For Mom

When it comes to moms, we here at Cake Wrecks know there's really no comparison.

But John and I are going to give it a try anyway.

Here goes:
Moms are like giraffes.

By Mama B.'s Cakes, via

They'll gladly stick their necks out for us.

Moms are like fine wine.

By For Goodness Cakes

They only improve with age.

(Jen: Plus some of them are hard to put a cork in.)
(John: JEN!)
(Jen: Sorry.)

Moms are like hot air balloons.

By Sweet Tiers

They raise us up.

(John: Aw, I love that song.)
(Jen: I know, right?)
(John & Jen: You raise me uuuuup! So I can stand on MOUN-taaaaiins! You RAAAAISE me UuuUUup! To walk on stormy seeeeaass!)

Moms are like master chess players.

Submitted by Sharon & Matt; made by Cake Studio

They're always a couple moves ahead of you.

Moms are like toasters.

By the Icing on the Cake

If you push their buttons, they can really heat up.

(Jen: You call that buttering her up?)
(John: You're right. Maybe I should offer her a toast. That always gets me out of a jam.)
(Jen: You want a pat on the head for those crumby puns?)
(John: Oooh, BURN.)

Moms are like art palettes.

By Cupcake Envy

They help us show our true colors.

(Jen: Is it too early for another sing-along?)
(John: Yes. So just hum it.)

Moms are like onions.

(John: NOW who's not being complimentary?)
(Jen: No, no, hear me out:)

By Cake Chérie

They have a lot of layers.

(John: Oh, ok. That's not too bad...)

Plus if you chop them up, you'll probably cry.

(John: JEN!!)

(Jen: What? Am I wrong?!)

Moms are like pirates.

Sub'd by Kristin A. & made by Cake Nouveau

Some of them have killer right hooks.

(John: Maybe you should have remembered that before the onion thing.)
(Jen: Good point.)

Moms are like crime scene tape.

By Cake Hero

You never want to cross them.

(John: Um...maybe we should be focusing on more positive things.)
(Jen: You're right. How's this?)

Moms are like lighthouses.

Sub'd by archersangel; by Mike's Amazing Cakes

They guide us home through the storms of life,
so we're not dashed on the rocks of disappointment,
and pecked to death by the seagulls of despair.

(John: I like it.)

All silliness aside, we wish all you moms out there - and especially ours - the happiest of Mothers' Days, and hope that at some point today you'll get at least five minutes' peace:

Submitted by Kristy L. and made by The Cupcake Gallery

And maybe even a nice bubble bath.

Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it to Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.

Note from john: This post was originally entitled "Motherly Metaphors" but as R3Test pointed out in the comments, these are actually similes.  Bwoops.  I guess it's mildly ironic because my mom was actually an English teacher so I probably should have known that.  Also, Jen should never let me name a post at 4am.

Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This

Ok, kids, Sunday's the big day: Mom's day. You don't want to screw this up. Remember, she brought you into this world, and she can TAKE YOU RIGHT BACK OUT OF IT.

Er, so, with that in mind, let's see what you've got.

This is the visual equivalent to being stabbed in the eye with a flatulent walrus.

I'm also craving Pepto Bismol.

Coincidence?

Um...

I wouldn't, if I were you.

I'mma let you finish, but Momma is gonna be SO PROUD of those grammar skillz.

Wouldn't this be kind of cute if it were decorated by a five-year old?

And wouldn't it be soul-crushingly horrific if it were made by a fully grown adult who is somehow still gainfully employed when thousands upon thousands of intelligent laborers who actually give a crap are not?

I only ask because this was taken while still in the shopping cart, and Jaunna just took the lid off because there was a sticker in the way.

But go ahead and believe that five-year-old thing. You know, for your sanity's sake.

This next one is my favorite, because it was *supposed* to say, "It's my birthday, b*tches!"

And did I mention it was ordered in March?

LOVE IT.
(Ok, when you guys are taking Mom out this afternoon, I dare you to walk into the restaurant and yell, "It's Mother's Day, B*tches!" In fact, I double dog dare you.)

But don't worry, dear Wreckies; even if you DO accidentally give Mom a wreck this weekend, you can take comfort in knowing that it's always the thought that counts:

And that's just for you, Mom.

Thanks to wreckporters Holly W., Cathy S., Greta B., Jaunna S., Jo M., & Charlene for also not beating me. I really appreciate that, guys.