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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul062018

At Least Now We Know Why Kermit Is Consternated

Anyone remember the CW classic, "It a Gril"?

(Ahh, good times.)

'Cuz now we have version 2.0!

Like most upgrade's, it fi'xed one prob'lem while creati'ng a whole n'ew one.

 

Two things on this next one:

1) Apparently there's a "Hawaiian Shirt Day"
2) I've never been so disappointed to see someone spell "shirt" right

(Right? RIGHT???)

 

Of course we've established - many, MANY times - that bakers can't seem to stop making chocolate icing look like poop.

However, I found the one exception!

It's when you ask a baker to actually TRY to make icing look like poop:

Like an ice cream swirl on a balloon string.

The mind, it boggles.

 

When this mom requested a Minnie Mouse cake for her daughter's birthday, I *think* the baker tried for a simple 3-circle Mickey logo, like this:

But instead, it came out like this:

In the baker's defense, if you squint a little this actually looks a LOT...

...like a consternated Kermit-the-Frog.

So, you know, SO CLOSE.

(Seriously, once you see it... it's all you see.)

 

So which is worse, guys: that bakers are already making globby Thanksgiving turkeys...

Or that there are only TWO CUPCAKES under that giblet-blasting load of icing?

(It doesn't have to make sense, ok? "Giblet-blasting" just sounds cool.)

Or, Bonus Option C: that enough people are buying these things to keep bakers making them. C'mon, people: TOUGH LOVE. Quit enabling the wreckerators!

 

And finally, to end on a high-pitched screaming note:

Let's hope the previous 49 Raymonds weren't so... [deep breaths, Jen, DEEP BREATHS] ...um, shiny?
[hurk!]

 

Thanks to Jamie C., Stacy F., Alyssa N., Anony M., Briana O., and Linda L. for forcing me to realize how eerily similar the globby turkey and shiny man chest are. WHERE'S THE "UNSEE" BUTTON ON THIS THING?

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (21)

Dear sweet God in heaven, what IS that last thing??!! It's like the mummy had a love child with the slimy green ghost from Ghostbusters.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

I want the turkey please! With extra icing.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Um, since when do turkeys have frog's feet? Seriously, have these decorators ever SEEN a turkey? Dead or alive? And poor Raymond; for the longest time (well, a few seconds, anyway) I thought that was a fist.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

1) I like barbecue as mu'ch as the nex't person, but why a cake to ce'lebra'te it?
2) Especially with all the brown blobs of icing around the bottom. (Read into that what you will).
3) Three things come to mind here. One - they can't spell "holy", which is wholly unreasonable. Two - since when does poop come with a string? Three - I guess if you can't make a poop, a poop-colored rose will suffice.
4) Consternated, or constipated? You know, following the poop theme.
5) Looks more like a giant frog that became roadkill.
6) I have to get this off my chest because I have a gut feeling about this, that whatever baker did this has never really seen a human torso. Or maybe it's an abs-tract rendering. Plus, those are two close together to be nipples, so are they eyeballs? It's obvious this baker was never a pre-med student.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I thought that was a fist, not a chest lol

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMel

In the first cake, how do you know it's baby cake? It could be someone is really excited about their new Webber™ and the baker left off the second "L".

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAldin

That is not a turkey, it is a headless Sphinx.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

It's all I see, lol! And I also thought the last thing was a fist, with...warts? And too many fingers (but that often happens, right?)...

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

I think they are preparing poor Raymond for mummification

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterContesa

I thought it was a mummy head, two eyes and a little round mouth.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGrrly Girl

Thank you guys SO MUCH for continuing to do Cake Wrecks! It's a bright spot every day!

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLesli

What is a Hawaiian Day Shirt? Are the Night ones more formal?
Does anyone else notice the multicolored balloons/spermatozoa trying to escape the poo-rose on a stem/string?
I think the "turkey" might be trying to be Simba from 'The Lion King'. The back paws look feline & I can almost see his face. Also the color is sort of Big Cat gold.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJuin

Did Ray fall on the grill ?

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGayle

The turkey-thing might be a puppy. A deflated sharpei, perhaps.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Are those pennies on the torso cake, standing in for nipples and navel?

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSuzyholly

If you squint at the last one, it kind of looks like an extra from a "Cars" movie.

July 6, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHarry

I can no longer see, hear, or scream.
=^e.e^=

Well now I know the next time I head up to a certain store that shall not be named I will be looking for the scary turkey thing lol. And laughing my head off as I go.

July 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

"previous 49 Raymonds"..lol!

July 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCarola

As an sf fan I wonder if you are aware of the proto-feminist 'What about us grils?' movement in fandom of the early 70s?

July 8, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterfemmefan1946

The label on that globby turkey thing should actually read
"Icing for 20
with 2 chocolate cupcakes"
Might be a bit nearer the mark.

July 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterC.J.

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