Monday
Jul232018
Things I See In My Backyard That I'd Never Want To Eat
July 23, 2018 Today's episode of "Things I See In My Backyard That I'd Never Want To Eat" was written on location here in Swampsville, Florida. (Aka Orlando.)
;)
Nope.
;)
Noooooope.
Because if you can't polish it...
;)
...slap some wings on it?
Still nope, by the way.
And finally:
;)
Thanks to Igor V., Elizabeth C., Nathan D., & Anony M., who informs me she's got dibs on the tail.
[Hurk.]
*****
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Reader Comments (14)
John, (thoJ), you may need to take Jen back to school. I think she is confused. I agree that she'd probably find a possum in her back yard, (and though they're ugly, I never saw one that looked like it was crossbred with a cat), Yes, she'd likely see butterflies, (though I doubt she'd see one whose body looked like it came out someone's butt). And even an armadillo is possible, (though I doubt it would be buffed to a shine like that). But a cobra? Now she's pushing it. If she'd showed us a boa constrictor cake, I'd be okay with that. We know they're loose in Florida now. But a cobra? Not buying it. This is Florida we're talking about here, not Southeast Asia. So maybe she needs both a geography and biology lesson. Sorry, Jen, we just can't let you corrupt the minds of children who read these posts with loose facts like this.
Nope nope.
Well, No, I wouldn't want to eat them, either, but to be honest, all but the butterfly are remarkably realistic. Decorators are an odd lot. Not a one of them can conjure up a decent turkey, but a possum is not too difficult. Beats me.
1. A rattlesnake dancing the Janet Jackson? Fun!
2. That armadillo is very tall for roadkill.
3. A wasp-waisted butterfly - why not?
4. A mangy, algae-ridden opossum. At least it won't have rabies.
I thought the last wreck was a ...wait for it....a CAT!
Albeit a sad cat....😿😿😿😿😿🙀🙀🙀
As for that poor serpent....It definitely has glandular problems...
.🐍
Hilarious.
Awww, the armadillo one makes me think of Steel Magnolias: "Whoever heard of grey icing?"
That armadillo looks like it was grown in a bread box (or cross-bred with one?) like one of those square watermellons. But it also looks like it wearing the half-melted trophy of an encounter with a motor vehicle in which it was clearly the victor! I strongly suspect the wreckerator has never actually seen armadillo roadkill in it’s tragically pancake-esque reality.
Maybe it's just me, but I think the armadillo cake is kind of cute.
Said in most monotone Drake voice I can muster, "I really love that moldy old possum"
The snake looks a bit... tied up, if you know what I mean. The armadillo cake is not nearly as bad as the many wrecks on CW, but still doesn't look very appetizing, in my opinion. That butterfly cake is actually ok (for a wreck). And the possum... I think I'll skip desert.
Interesting. That possum cake has the same expression as a dead one I found in my backyard recently.
Well this post is full of nope nope nope lol. I wouldn't eat these at all especially that huge armadillo that looks like it got hit by a tractor and is still on the move. No terminator armadillo for me thanks lol.
The armadillo cake reminds me of an episode of Redneck Weddings that used to air on CMT. The bride wanted a wedding cake that looked like an armadillo, and wanted the cake inside to be red so it would “bleed” when they cut it. On the day of the wedding, she wanted to check if it was red so she stuck her finger in the side. She then decided her finger hole looked like a bullet hole and loved It even more.
Is the armadillo cake made with Red Velvet cake? ;)
"The cake part is Red Velvet. Blood red!"
LOL
"People are gonna be hacking into this poor animal."