From The Baker Formerly Known As Prince
April 10, 2018 I was working part time in a bakery line
My boss was Mr. Wreckie
He told me several times that he didn't like my signs
'Cuz I spelled too "creatively"
;)
;)
Soon he had me lookin' for something else to "destroy"
But different from the day before
That's when I saw it - Oooh, I saw it!
I dropped it right on the tile floor (tile floor).
;)
It was a
Raaaaaspberry purée
The kind you grind and then reheat to pour
;)
Raaaaspberry purée
And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore
;)
Raaaspberry purée
I think I loooove you.
Mr. Wreckie
Now, had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do him any harm
;)
I told him, "Look, man,
I was only bakin'
Surely NO cause for alarm!"
;)
I said now, jelly roll cakes never turned me on
But somehow the purée and bread mixed
;)
Eeee-eEEEE-ee! That was a fright!
But I could tell Wreckie missed me;
Soon I was back to my old tricks:
;)
Thanks to the
Raaaaaspberry purée
The kind you grind and then reheat to pour
;)
Raaaaspberry purée
And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore
;)
(EW!)
Raaaspberry purée
I think I loooove you.
***
(Goodnight, sweet Prince.)
Thanks to Diana S., Jillian, Katelyn C., Leigh E., Tara S., Jamie B., Renee, Michelle M., Elizabeth C., and Megan P. for showing us what it sounds like when doves cry.
*****
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Reader Comments (28)
1) & 2) My brain hurts. Maybe we should be glad they could even spell "pie" and "peach" correctly.
3) Ooh, look, a starfish.
4) I apologize in advance, but I'm sorry, it looks like someone slapped a used pad on this cake. GROSS!
5) "We found the lost plasma bag!"
6) I can just hear the detective now, "Notice the splatter pattern here. It shows us that the weapon..."
7) Another crossover? Alien vs. Kirk or Picard? Maybe they can just hire the Borg to fight them.
8) BRAIN FOOD! Literally!
9) I think I smell a rat here. Or is it just shrewd advertising?
10) Here's a snake to eat the chocolate mouse cake.
11) I'm surprised the baker had the guts to put this wreck out, or the intestinal fortitude. Did they constantly shift this cake all over the display area, making it a bowel movement?
Bahahahahahaha :D
The charlotte royale cake looked great. It was the one where "I said now, jelly roll cakes never turned me on
But somehow the purée and bread mixed". It is supposed to look like that. It was really well done.
Credit where it's due, the "picard heart with chestburster" one is disturbingly well done.
The brain looking thing is a legit cake!! https://www.sugarhero.com/charlotte-royale-swiss-roll-cake/
I am so glad you are reprising these. They deserve multiple airings. As did the cakes themselves.
One simply does not mix Alien and Star Trek.
I get that it's part of the theme, but the charlotte royale doesn't look like much of a wreck to me. It's a little wonky at the base but overall it's nicely done-a classic dessert.
One of my favorite Prince songs! But those are pretty disgusting-I don't think I could eat any of them!
That TNG one is kinda awesome. đź‘˝
The only thing wrong with the chest burster is that it's on a Star Trek uniform. But it's a redshirt, so that makes it acceptable. It's my favorite cake on this post.
There are no words for the others. Besides HURK.
I'm so glad I wasn't eating lunch when I read this post. A few of those cakes are a bloody mess.
The one with the spongecakes on the outside is called a Charlotte Royale. It's a French dessert, and that is a beautiful example! Don't you watch The Great British Bake-Off?
I agree with Mindy1.... BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA
This Charlotte Royal doesn’t look that great. It’s not a total wreck, but it could be a lot better. Also, brain cake is a nick name for the Charlotte Royal. And it should be pretty obvious why. It fits perfectly with the theme of the post.
#3: French bread: hot at 5pm or free
While that charlotte royale cake might have been done right, it still looks kinda"brainy"
They made that brain-looking thing on an episode of the Great British Baking Show and I immediately knew what I'd be making for Halloween this year!
I think that Alien/ Star Trek cake has killed me with laughter. I cannot stop laughing that and the bloody smears on half the cakes makes me wonder what they killed to make these lol.
Those poor redshirts - they're so attractive to monsters that they're getting attacked by ones from entirely different franchises!
Everyone already said the stuff I was going to, so I will just say raspberries are my favorite.
... is it wrong if I want to ask them if the mouse cake is made with real or artificial mice?
I can't help but laugh at all the commenters trying to point out that Charlotte cake is a real thing and done well. Yes it's a real thing, but that example looks disgusting! So shiny and the whipped cream at the bottom looks old and falling apart, gross! Look up what Charlotte cakes should look like - they are much nicer when done properly (though still not something I'd actually order myself)...
So awesome. Great jorb!
I feel the need to point out that the Star Trek cake is NOT a crossover. There’s a TNG episode that features parasitic aliens that emerge through a character’s chest. It traumatised me as a child.
Is that last one meant to resemble a lower GI tract?
Allison is correct . It was a season 1 episode called "Conspiracy." It is a match for events on the show, and it's pretty well done (the alien did look kind of lame on the episode.
@Starknight: "Well if we used artificial mice, it wouldn't be *crunchy*, now, would it?"
"Brain cake," my eye--that's a "Boob Cake" with bloody fingerprints. And whipped cream.