And Now A Word From Princess Godzilla
March 9, 2018 HOW TO BE A PRINCESS
Cake Wrecks style
1) First things first: you'll need a wardrobe fit for royalty.
;)
Because even a strait jacket can be princessy when paired with the right skirt/circus tent.
2) Have your hair and makeup done professionally every day.
Don't be like Elsa that one time:
;)
(Girl needs to let her liquid eyeliner GO, am I right?)
3) Find an animal side kick
Friendly forest creatures are SO overdone, though. I recommend something a little more original:
;)
...like a boa constrictor.
4) Eyebrows UP! It helps instill a sense of wonder.
;)
Not to mention a sense of surprise and/or fear.
Which is why:
5) You can never, EVER, stop smiling:
;)
Cindy's foot is currently being gnawed on by angry peasant mice, but do you see her complaining?
NUH-UH.
But really, my dear minions, there is only one requirement to be a princess:
Be true to yourself, and feel pretty doing it.
;)
Princess Godzilla demands it.
Thanks to Anony M., KM, Noelle T., Kathy C., Sydney C., & Andrea L. for making her daughter the best princess cake OF ALL TIME. Somebody give Princess Godzilla her own movie, product line, and action figures, STAT!
*****
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Reader Comments (29)
I actually really like Princess Godzilla! Clever, and well executed.
1) A lacy straight jacket. Such a nice feminine touch. What's next, though, lacy whips and chains?
2) I know what's going on here. That's the stuff football players put on under their eyes to help cut down the glare. It just means Elsa is getting ready to get on the gridiron.
3) Funny, I thought most boa constrictors were brown. And that would certainly match the look of this "snake", that more resembles a poop with eyes. One other thought, though, because it looks like this "snake" has toenails. Maybe it's some mutated snake/frog thing?
4) What caused this look of shock? Did these princesses see their princes in all their glory and it wasn't what they expected? We may never know.
5) Dig Cinderella's shoulder pads. I guess she's getting ready to do battle on the gridiron with Elsa.
6) You've heard the term Bridezilla. I think we finally found her.
Princess Godzilla is my new favourite of all time!
I kind of like Princess Godzilla... Perhaps a bridal shower "Bridezilla" cake?
Yes!! First LAUGH OF THE DAY for ME!!
Thanks to Cindy......although I would have expected her pupils to be more dilated, under the circumstance.
(What a trouper, eh?)
You can let down your guard, now, Cin, baby. Camera's stopped rolling...
=^~.-^=
Mmmmm, princess-y
Cinderella can't breathe because of her plugged nostrils. That's why she looks like that. I laughed out loud for real because of poor Cinderella.
Elsa really should see someone about that conjunctivitis. I guess no one ever told her to buy new mascara every 3 months.
And what the heck is the first name of the princess with the boa constrictor? That mess in the middle could be a whole bunch of combinations of "u" and "i" and "v" and "r" and "i".
Pretty sure it's Averie in really bad cursive. Darn those "V"s!
I feel a deep personal connection to Princess Godzilla.
Princess Godzilla XD
I <3 Princess Godzilla.
Princess Green Poo Charmer needs to see a doctor about that purple sweating problem. :P
Princess. Godzilla. Has. Boobage. That is all
Welcome to the family? What sort of family has a pet boa constrictor? With a bow on its neck, yet.
So, I'm pretty sure that Godzilla Princess cake is actually a depiction of an alligator as a princess, as made for a fan of the University of Florida Gators. I'm a lifelong Floridian, and every fiber of my being asserts this. The orange/blue dress makes that seem very likely.
Why doesn’t the first princess have arms? Why is Elsa crossing her eyes? And what is with the pile of green poop on the “Welcome to the Family “ cake? (It has a bow on it, too- I’m very confused)
I love Princess Godzille. A couple of things that you didn't mention, BTW, about that first cake, the one with the Barbie in the straitjacket and tent. (1) Is that a miniature bison on her head? (2) Is it really for a 55-year-old?
Now I want a Princess Godzilla cake lol. So cute. I have a feeling that Cinderella cake wishes to be that Godzilla cake.
A few years ago, there was a picture of a princess Godzilla cake making the rounds on Facebook, and my niece told me that's what she wanted for her birthday cake. I told her that if she found a Godzilla I'd make her the cake. She came home with a Hulk instead. So on her birthday she came to my work and we made a Princess Hulk cake. She had prepped him beforehand by making earrings and a necklace as well. One of my male co workers saw what we were doing and was horrified at first "What are you doing to Hulk??" He brought over a bunch of other guys to watch and one of them said he wanted a Princess Hulk cake for his birthday haha. The cake was a success, but (TMI I know) we were all pooping green for days.
You should check out a new show on Netflix called Nailed it where home bakers try to copy amazing cakes. Sylvia (actual professional baker) is hilarious.
Princess Godzilla is a masterpiece! Very well done.
Wait wait wait wait wait. The boa-poop cake is welcoming a child named Avarice?
My mother's best friend was a professional cake maker. (She made my wedding cake and it was beautiful & delicious!) Looong before that tho, she made me a beautiful princess cake for my 7th? 8th? birthday. I wouldn't let them cut it, it was so beautiful!! I cried when they suggested it. Someone had to run to the grocery store and buy whatever was in the bakery there. The cake ended up getting rock hard and being thrown away, but I loved it so much!
Coming out of lurkdom to say that I absolutely, unironically LOVE the princess Godzilla cake!
WHO in the rip roaring heck ordered that last cake??
looks like a poo reptile sidekick
@ Mike: You're right about that look of shock on those princesses' faces... when they saw their princes in "all their glory" for the first time, they discovered that a ruler isn't always necessarily 12 inches.
Princess Godzilla is one of my top favorite cakes on this site, up there with the Tom Selleck cake and the construction guy merman cakeXD
But I LIKE Princess Godzilla