Rising To The Occasion
December 7, 2018 [WARNING: Those blessed/cursed with a dirty mind are going to find this post hee-LARIOUS - but should probably clear the room of innocents first. Remember, Santa is watching, kids.]
There's just something about this time of year, am I right? Crackling fires in every fireplace, romantic twinkly lights in all the trees, and of course, skin-tight Santa suits. Yep. This, my friends, is the season... OF LURRRVE.
And a good thing, too. After all, it makes us more giving:
;)
(Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.)
More attentive:
;)
"Yes, deer."
And even when we're feeling a bit knotty:
;)
[insert 'morning wood' joke here]
... we know this is the time when its better to bury the hatchet, not leave.
Yes, it's the season for dropping the underpants of our emotional reticence, and letting the ding-a-ling of our love shine out.
;)
(Oh, it's happy, all right.)
I guess what I'm trying to say here, my friends, is that Rudolph has a giant wang on his face:
;)
And you've just gotta love that.
Thanks to Sarah L., Nick, Bridget F., Luke, & C for taking a firm upper hand with these rascally wrecks.
*****
Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USA, UK, Canada.
Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Reader Comments (9)
1) This little guy is both fat and ugly. I think he needs to take some elf improvement classes.
2) I've heard of turduckens, but I think this critter might need a new name - turddongkin.
3) I think you're seeing the wrong sex here. This looks more like the torso of a gal who has swirly pasties covering her top half and possibly a painted chastity device on the lower half, plus a rather long navel piercing.
4) I've heard people will knit sweaters for just about anything, but I think this is a first.
5) And now we really know why they didn't let Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
Linus told Charlie Brown that he's the only person he knew who could take Christmas and turn it into a problem. I think Jen and these bakers are the only ones who can take Christmas and turn it into something suggestive. I think they better watch it, or they'll all be on Santa's naughty list.
"Yes, it's the season for dropping the underpants of our emotional reticence, and letting the ding-a-ling of our love shine out."
Snork!
(Also: A The Good Place reference?)
Deer me, wood you imagine that's a YULE LOG?! I thought it was a gingerbread man with crazy eyes and a swirly down by his...yoo-hoo. :O
1) For some reason elf anatomy puts the wang on the same level as the bellybutton.
2) If the photo wasn't upside down, we wouldn't have such dirty thoughts!
3) All I see is a log (seriously!)
4) If your idea of a wang has "needles" sticking out the tip, you might have a problem!
5) All I see is a turd, and the presence of blood on the end means the guy needs to see a doctor.
XD Where I live, the only "fire places" at this time of the year are for roasting meat!
We still have the twinkly lights, though. But not the skin-tight Santa suit, as far as I know. I can only imagine how awkward would be a child on the lap of someone wearing that! Then again, that suit must have another purpose entirely...
Now, onto the keks...
1) Fe fi fo fake/ I smell a cupcake cake/ Be it chocolate, be it vanilla/ Grind it to a halt or I'll send a guerrilla
...yeah, I'd better leave that kind of thing to Sharyn, she's much more qualified!
And, lest I forget... paTOOie!
2) Yeah, pretzels most definitely do not make good antlers. Not that I'm seeing a reindeer, either.
3) HOLY... wood... Batman. Um...
While I do se what you probably see, I also see... a long, womanly torso. With stylized, squiggled... womanly parts. Anyway, I'm stumped. But, if it was a woman, then it wouldn't be very convincing... because her acting is a bit stiff, I dare to say, it's wooden.
4) Really happy, glowing Christmas, indeed! I bet someone will enjoy the glow after (or is it the other way around?)
5) ...............thatoneisglowingtooooooooooawhellmightaswellsay...
Dear Santa, I think you have one more for your "really naughty" list... besides me, I know, okay? No need to remind me... sanafrazzin rasafrassin sanzakrauzzin grumble grumble...
Honestly by now you would think they would know the difference between a nose and a wang or even a candle.. I am just dying of laughter here. Again.
Actually, Step 1 is “Get a box.”
husband looking over at the computer as the last image scrolls up...
"Wait. What is that supposed to be?"
Squints and reads text.
contorts with laughter
That last one: I’m going home with him!