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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec262018

A Kwanzaa Tradition

It's time again for everyone's favorite Kwanzaa tradition: making fun of Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa cake!

For those who've somehow managed to miss it in previous years: that is an angel food cake, covered in chocolate cinnamon frosting, filled with canned apple pie filling, and "garnished" with pumpkin seeds and corn nuts.

Yes, CORN NUTS.

The giant taper candles jammed in the cake are presumably there for "culture."

And if you missed any of that, kindly refer to this handy diagram:

(Available as a t-shirt for your next First Fruits Festival!)

This ill-concieved creation has spawned a veritable plethora of ironic baking adventures over the years, as people first recreate it in their own kitchens and then dare each other to eat it. Do a search and you'll find plenty of videos and photos - and the reaction shots of people tasting it are pretty priceless.

Why, Elizabeth in Georgia even made this miniature version for one of our book tour stops:

You must admit, using popcorn kernels in place of corn nuts is pretty inspired.

However, no replica can ever really compete with the original, so gather 'round, my friends, while Aunt Sandra tells us a tale of family, first fruits, and cultural sensitivity:

Also, Corn Nuts are called "acorns." Did you know?

As a side note: I've lost count of how many times I've seen this video over the past four years, but somehow it still unleashes fresh horrors with every viewing. Just looking at that icing makes my teeth hurt, and when you throw in angel food cake - which should never have icing on it to begin with - topped with pumpkins seeds and corn nuts, I'm pretty sure I'd rather gnaw on one of the taper candles.

Oh, and here's an interesting nugget: the person Sandra Lee hired to write this "recipe" later confessed, and her only defense? "The candles were her [Lee's] idea." (I know; I'm still reeling over the fact that Lee paid someone to come up with Corn Nuts and cinnamon icing, too.)

Say, do you think Lee would be in the market for my new St. Patrick's Day recipe? It's a store-bought pie shell filled with frozen orange soda, chopped Circus Peanuts, and Cool Whip. For garnish I have Andes Mints and Doritos crumbs, and for decoration, a can of Guiness jammed "festively" in the middle. I'll be rich, I tell you, RICH!! MWUAH-HA-HAAA!

*****

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Reader Comments (11)

OMG and i never use that expression, but this is just so ridiculous. Thank you for sharing.

December 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterdkzody

Did anyone else notice her "teaspoon of cinnamon" was actually a tablespoon? This video so delegitimizes Food Network.

December 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSally

The "Hanukkah" cake is our re-watch tradition. My Jewish in-laws thought it was a SNL or The Onion joke.

December 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

Is there something wrong with me? Not only would I be willing to try this, but I also kinda want to try your St. Patrick's Day cake, too! The Doritos/Andes Mints/frozen orange soda combination sounds intriguing. No, I'm not pregnant.

December 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLisa C.

This cake made me hurk the first time I saw it... and it still makes me hurk, today!

December 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDancing with Lasagna

I watch this video each year and I it never gets any better.

December 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

I can't stop laughing no matter how many times I see this. I really wonder how many husbands or other loved ones had to try one of these things and survived to tell the tale lmao.

December 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Please. Make this spoof video with your recipe at st. Patrick's day when we have once again forgotten this amusing thing and casually link back to this. I beg of you.

December 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

So, everyone has cocoa powder for making hot chocolate? But she uses store bought icing? Also, corn nuts are a sacred traditional road trip food. NOT acorns. Who eats acorns anyway?
And now, thanks to Vickie, I'm off to watch the Hanukkah cake video... (Skipping Merrily) la la la.

December 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Laura, who eats acorns? umm squirrels.

December 29, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterThe One who remains nameless

Is it really a 'recipe' if you didn't make anything?

January 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRoz

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