The 10 Stages Of Wrecky Trick-Or-Treating
October 29, 2018 The 10 Stages Of Handing Out Candy To Trick-Or-Treaters
As Illustrated With Halloween Cake Wrecks
Stage 1:
;)
"AWWWWW lookit the cute costumes on all the cute bebies! CANDY FOR EVERYONE."
Stage 2:
;)
"Wow there are a lot of you."
Stage 3:
;)
"A 5-year-old Deadpool just kicked me but this is fine, everything's fine."
Stage 4:
;)
"WHAT IF WE RUN OUT OF CANDY?"
Stage 5:
;)
"You get two pieces each AND THAT'S FINAL."
Stage 6:
;)
"This is my life now."
Stage 7:
;)
::obsessively looking between the clock and the candy bowl::
Stage 8:
;)
"I AM SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T TP MY HOUSE."
Stage 9:
;)
"They TP'd my house."
Stage 10:
;)
::cracks open secret stash of chocolate and plops down to watch Ghostbusters::
BEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.
Thanks to Anne H., Deon M., Meg M., Jessica A., Kaitlin K., Mariah E., Hillary, M.M., Savannah G., & Tara W. for the wrecky treats. Oh, and I've never actually had my house TP'd; my generous candy distribution is both fear-based and extremely effective. :D
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Reader Comments (8)
Or there's this version.
1) "We forgot to buy Halloween candy and the trick or treaters are already showing up."
2) "Don't blame me for not remembering the candy. This is your fault!"
3) "Sorry, kids. Heh, heh, heh. We didn't remember to buy candy. Ha, ha! We'll try to make it up next year."
4) "It looks like they're getting ready to organize a mob. Are those pitchforks and torches?"
5) "OK, that's it! Lock and bolt the door and board up all the windows."
6) "I think I need another drink. This has been too much for me."
7) "I keep hearing funky noises outside and haven't come close to sleeping yet."
8) "It's six in the morning and I guess I have to unbolt the door and see what happened."
9) "Eggs, shaving cream and TP. That's it! I will have my revenge on these little monsters."
10) "All this has made me sick. Take my temperature. I think I'm feverish. I know I'm burning mad. Just wait until next year when we give them laxatives that look like chocolate. Then they'll wish they still had that TP."
Ha, ha, ha: 10 stages!!
#7 is me, watching the clock to turn off the lights.
We live in a little 'burb near Atlanta. You don't know how accurate this is. We get ONE THOUSAND kids in a 3 hour span. They are bused in from all over the city. We have a sneaky way of saving candy - we covertly throw a ketchup packet into the sacks of not-at-all-dressed, or old-enough-to-smoke (ahem) "kids." We've become experts at throwing "something" into bags. The ketchup is only for the very worst offenders. Yes, I'm going to Hell.
For me there is another stage...next day, half off candy sales :D :D
@Meghan ROFL XD XD
What a great idea Meghan! I've got a bunch of left over taco sauce packets I could use. ;) "um I have no idea why my house got egged hubby"
@Meghan: That's BRILLIANT! I like the way you roll.
Oh these are hilarious. No trick or treaters where we live so the candy is mine..all mine lol.
#5 is my normal face