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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug112017

Batman Attacking A Shark With A Light Saber... Plus A Cow Udder

There are lots of crazy cakes out there, minions, but the thing to remember is there are distinctive LEVELS of crazy.

What's that? Do I have examples?

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

Ahem hem hem.

[extending pen-pointer stick thingy]

First, we have Good Crazy:

Because while no one NEEDS a rainbow worm covered in Gummi Bears, why the heck not?

 

...which can be surpassed by Awesome Crazy:

Or, crazy awesome.

 

Then we have Bad Crazy:

That's right, running down frisbee players with your new birthday car is bad, Mark. BAAAAD.

 

First, let's just assume that says "Curt."
Second, Why?
Third, Why?
And fourth, SWEET STAY PUFT WHYYYYYY?!

Ahem.

 

Also, celebrating the US Navy's birthday with a sinking Titanic isn't so great, either:

 

And finally - and my personal favorite - we have Bat Sh*t Crazy.

This is the crazy that isn't bad, and isn't good. It's the Chaotic Neutral of crazy, if you will.
(And if you got that, YOU ARE SUCH A NERD. [let's be friends])

For example:

Soccer player butts next to badly rendered Pixar characters.

 

And of course:

Cow udders.

 

Thanks to Jessica B., Dana G., Richard W., Lindsay D., Brian E., Anony M., & Cheryl S., who could really see herself understanding cows.

(I'm so proud of that pun I actually teared up a little, you guys. WHAT.)

*****

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Reader Comments (31)

I have an odd recollection that the Batman vs. Shark graphic (minus the light saber) was a picture in a Viewmaster card from when I was little. I remember being scared of the shark.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMichigan Sara

Anyone else notice the wee little mustaches on the Batman cake making it even more Crazy Awesome?

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLaura S.

after seeing that first cake I'll be hearing that classic song "Some Bear, Over the Rainbow" all day....

and...I think the reason they show soccer butts on that other cake is because they couldn't show soccer balls....

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjust passing through

I can't make up my mind which I like best...the deformed cow (4 teats only people) or Mark's manscaping...that chest hair is GROOMED

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Not udderly sure which planet that cow is from...

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTaffy Cake

Hmmmm. Perhaps the Pixar cake might be sending a secret message? After all, Mater is a tow truck, also known as a wrecker in some parts of the country. Are they saying congratulations to a butt wrecker?

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterThe Great Disco Newt

It looks like the Titanic was populated by emperor penguins. Who knew?
Does -er- *Curt* have gender dysphoria issues? Why are people apparently throwing bikini tops at Curt?
I'm not sure that's a cow's udder so much as a peanut with warts. Perhaps his friends think that George is a peanut with warts. Unkind, but then we don't know George: for all we know he may be :-)

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

Cow udders have four, count 'em, four teats.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGK

On a crazy scale of 1 to10, that last one is a 37.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterALLEGRA

I get the chaotic neutral reference and I'd love to be friends. I have some d20's to share! Also, I'm pretty sure I really want the Batman cake...

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I thought the last one was a peanut with warts. Udderly crazy, right?

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKerry

Is it a cow udder?? Looks like a potato on a moldy cake to me.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I don't think that's cow bidders. It looks more like a potatoe with (closed) eyes.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJust Passing throufh

I think that cow spent too much time near the Three Mile Island nuclear power plant!

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

Why do you think the lady hit by the Jeep is a Frisbee player? Either way, it's funny.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMeredithjh32

My checks hurt from laughing at that furry Mater. I can almost hear him ask, "Do ya like mah beard? I growed it mah self."

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Somehow I want to butt/Mater cake to make sense as a rebus.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

For the cow one, this is how I imagine the conversation at the bakery must have gone: "How many nipples does a cow have again, Frank?" "Oh, I dunno. Just sprinkle some on there."

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterOMGitsaClaire

That "frisbee" is one of the headlights; there's another just like it. I think it's supposed to look like she's swooning on the car, but yeah, not the best position.

Maybe Curt has a girlfriend with a broken leg, but given all the bras and such, I think he just has a fetish.

The Titanic cake is pretty skilled. I can't say the same for the next cake. It took me a full minute to recognize Mater with your slight prompting. Then again, I initially thought the soccer player had four buttocks instead of two buttocks and the tops of two legs.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I totally get that the last cake is a Holstein cow, but since it is udderly, lopsidedly double-breasted, it makes me think of a giant peanut.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarsha3

No that is a potato...with nodules? Why does George get a diseased potato?

Tumorous, mutant cow udders. Just sayin'.

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

You've milked that joke for all its worth. These are not the cream of the crop. Better udderstanding through cake! Lol... ;-)

August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPam S.

Oh man I can only imagine why on the Curt cake that there are flying bras all over the place lol. I am still trying to figure out how they came up with that one.. lol.

August 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I agree with Nameless, that's a potato with a skin condition.

August 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChemSteve

Chaotic neutral of cakes, indeed! Oh, look! My nerd is showing. Ha!

August 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRaeMae

Maybe it's not "Curt" maybe it's "Court" short for Courtney? That would explain the woman, but nothing explains the bras/bikini tops.

August 13, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

I thought the Pixar character was Doug the dog from Up. It didn't make sense next to soccer player butt either.

August 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Good crazy is adorable! Bat-shark crazy is strange.

Mark and Curt's cakes go together. They tell the story of Horrible Girl (Curt? if that's what it says) who gets "accidentally" run over by Mark. She learns her lesson in the following cake and everyone is so happy they throw bikini tops at Mark and apparently, some sperm, too. No judging.

The Titanic penguins in the lifeboats are amazing.I love them a lot!

Fuzzy, pointy fuzzy, butt and fuzzy, pointy fuzzy, Mater is making my brain hurt.

Potato grown at three mile island.Should be okay, right?

August 13, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

Holy hark bites, Batman, I that second last one is Chaotic Neutral - if it's Lawful Evil, we're all screwed. Whatever it is, it somehow managed to roll a negative number for Charisma.

August 13, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

actually, the soccer player looks to be a baseball player- the jersey says "A Rod" which would be Alex Rodriguez- a former baseball player for the NY Yankees. though that still doesn't explain why he's mooning Mater.

August 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

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