The Bride And Groan
July 26, 2017 Today's post is dedicated to all the engaged couples out there. That's right, lovebirds, I thought we might take this opportunity to consider the most important cake of your entire lives: your wedding cake.
Now, I know I feature a lot of wedding wrecks, and I know a lot of folks will point out that asking for a fondant design recreated in buttercream is asking for disaster, but don't you worry. I'm here to help. After all, this is what Leah D. ordered for HER wedding cake:
And look what she got!
;)
It's the tinfoil-covered cookie sheet that really sells it.
Ok, yes, it's a wreck. BUT - did you notice how the inspiration cake was all buttercream, and the wreck itself is fondant? I'm just sayin'. It works both ways.
Now, don't you feel better?
No?
Ok, then how about what Susan A. ordered for her wedding?
;)
Not a great picture (you don't see mimeographs much these days), but I think you get the general idea.
And here's what Susan got:
;)
Granted, I'm not sure how this is supposed to make you feel better, but trust me, guys: the REST of us are feeling grrrrr-REAT. (John! Go make some popcorn! These are gettin' GOOD.)
Sara M. wanted her wedding cake to be a hunk a' hunk a' burnin' love:
;)
The cake! The cake! The cake is on FI-YUR!
;)
Wah-WAAAAH.
(That was my attempt at a slide-rule trombone effect. I know: I'm a veritable foley artist with words.)
And finally, Elizabeth P. dreamed a dream of ribbon-wrapped sweetness for her big day:
...but ended up with something only a mummy could love:
;)
Ouch. Uh...that's a wrap!
Thanks to all of today's brides and just remember, guys: wreck or Sweet, we're gonna need to see your wedding cake! (Oh, and we're all invited, right? RIGHT?!)
*****
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Reader Comments (20)
Maybe, maybe, the top tier of the first cake was done in fondant, but it is virtually impossible to get fondant so thin the cake itself shows through, as if does on the two center layers. I call myself a "semi-professional" baker, and I would be ashamed to present a bride - or anybody else - with wedding cakes that looked so dreadful.
Yeesh!
At one point in time, people who said "I'm just here for the cake" had a fork in hand. The fork has been replaced with a camera. Thank you!
Second cake: We're both fire!
First cake: Yeah. But I'm raging fire and you're - smouldering fire.
The burning love cake looks like a distant relative of Cousin It or something you would see in the background of a Star Wars movie. And that one with the cake showing through is unforgivable.
The puns today tickled me to no end, but "a slight burning sensation and performance issues" made me howl out loud. In my office. My coworkers are looking at me funny today.
Is anyone else thinking (as I am) that the third from last option looks as if it wants to shimmy up to the table edge and JUMP? (Because if we ALL cheer it on, it could make it!)
=^-.-^=
Second from the top, is that Miss Havisham the groom is dancing with?
#4 Helpful hint: to get rid of an old toaster, cover it in fondant and put it on top of a cake.
Is it just me, or do the "I" "Do" toppers on the last cake look like molars? It took me a second to figure out they were birds.
I have to agree, I don't think the first cake is fondant either. I think they tried to do it with a really thick glaze - like it was a giant petit four
.
Are those teeth on top of the last cake?
At first glance I thought the two birds on the last cake were teeth!! 😂 Cuz it's not bad enough already...
The brides I feel sorry for are those with cakes juuuuust good enough to have to pay for. The last cake is a good example. Though I don't understand the big teeth on the top with I Do printed on them.
I must be tripping on Frankenberries again. I thought that the "burning sensation, and performance issues" had orange leeches climbing the cake. 😯
What's a slide rule trombone?
Why has the mummy cake got 2 extracted human teeth on top?
I'm seeing Cousin It married an anemone, and here is the fruit of their love!
Lady Anne and Annette - I wonder if they tried doing poured fondant on the top cake? or maybe it's white chocolate ganache? Whatever they did, it was just not o.k. Not o.k. at all. Blerf.
Oh man I feel for the poor brides. They should have made the cake themselves at the rate these wreckerators keep ruining them lol.
The first cake is definitely fondant--that's what happens when you put it over a cake that is too warm. It begins to sweat and soften/stretch, leaving those see-through areas. It can also occur if the room itself is too warm, as you can see occasionally on Cake Wars, etc.
A lot of the wedding wrecks I've seen while binging this site today seem to stem from cakes being decorated before they've sufficiently cooled, leaving me to wonder if most of these wrecks were the result of bakers forgetting until the last minute that they had an order.