A Cake Wrecks Correspondence
May 26, 2017 "A Typical Day Of John Checking E-Mail"
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Dear [REDACTED],
Thank you for choosing Cake Wrecks for such an important occasion! I'd be delighted to offer you a quote, but first let me show you a few of our most popular Sesame Street cakes, so you can pick out your favorite.
(Please note that for copyright reasons we can't actually call these Sesame Street characters, but I'm sure our versions will look VERY familiar. ;))
"Huge Bird"
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"Oreo Monster"
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"Trash Head"
aka "Mr. Can-'Do"
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And "Petrified Elro"
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Or for a little extra, you can get all four characters together!
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[plastic faces not included]
We also have some new "Bieber-licious" character cookies your son is sure to love:
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Prices vary depending on the cake's size, flavor, and age, so just let us know how many people you'd like to feed and how picky you are about "freshness." Delivery is free within a twenty mile radius, but keep in mind our delivery guy moonlights as a mobile pet groomer, so there's always a SLIGHT chance of pet hair - but really, that almost never happens. (Which reminds me: Billy gives our customers a 15% discount! Just FYI.)
Let me know which cake you'd prefer, and thanks again for choosing Cake Wrecks!
- john (the hubby of Jen)
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Thanks to Todd T, Julie B., David & Debbie B., Jennifer G., Anony M., & Cynthia for actually making it through our contact page without thinking we make all these cakes ourselves.
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Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (24)
Dear John (HoJ),
Thank you for your quick response to my request. I would like to order cake #5 (representing four popular "Sesame Street' characters sinking into the Swamp of Sadness.) Would it be possible to replace the Muppets in the sample with Bieber-licious characters? I will be serving 15 people who would love to see Bieber sinking into the swamp.
I am enclosing a 25% deposit. As I am somewhat out of your delivery zone, I was hoping I could meet you halfway. Let's say somewhere in North Carolina. I will be on the corner of Scott Ave. and East Blvd (across from the Starbucks on Tuesday at 3:15 PM with the balance. I look forward to meeting you there.
You can reach me by "Reader Comments" or Chrystal Orb with any questions.
Sincerely,
R.E. Dacted
P.S. I want sprinkles.
How are they going to get Huge Bird off the cake so they can cut it? What happened to Wonder Woman; why does she seem to be wearing such enormous shorts?
I'm guessing that "girar" = "first" on a qwerty board.
I love your stickman posts, John! Though SuBee almost beat you with her comment :-D
Holy moley!
Kudos to Classic Steve for figuring out the "girar" word; I was totally baffled.
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"Huge Bird", huh?......Don't you mean "Huge Turd"?
=^-.-^=
I love wonder women's giant underpants. Looks like what I wear after having six kids.
Always love your posts but the stick figure posts just add that little something more that made this even funnier.
"Trash Head"
aka "Mr. Can-'Do"
aka "Mr. Migraine Aura"
Hysterical!
LOL @john(thoj) and @Subee!
*sigh* Yeah, I do the snarky email then retype method all the time. The version I send is never as fun.
You should have sent the pictures.
I'd love to know what her response would have been.
I answer my organization's consumer feedback page. I have this basic reaction to about half of my correspondence.
"Girar birthday" sounds pretty metal to me.
Oh these are my favorite posts lol. Man I wish you had sent those pictures the reaction would have been priceless I bet..unless of course they ordered one lol.
What I love is that the correspondent thought all the Wrecks were samples of the bakery's best work and still wanted to order one! I guess he/she/they/it was hoping for "the talented one" who does all the Sunday Sweets!
I love Huge Bird the icing-covered pineapple.
Who would name their child Kensington?
How?
How do you so much as stumble across this site and think they make cakes?
Furthermore, how do you see the pictures on here and WANT these cakes (assuming they didn't base their inquiry on a Sunday Sweets post)?
I'm just. Just. How.
I don't think I like Wonder Woman wearing those granny panties.
Who would name their child Kensington? The same type of person who names their child Chelsea or Brooklyn. It's only a matter of time before someone names their offspring Wapping or Yonkers.
I hope little Mr. or Miss Dacted, Jr, had a good girar brithday aynwya, even without a fine Cake Wrecks masterpiece.
No worries about anyone naming their child "Wappinger." Why not? Well, Wappinger's Falls, for starters...
*backs away slowly*
I read that as "my son Girar's birthday ". Hey it's no weirder than Kensington. BTW that last cookie is how I'd look wearing a Wonder Woman outfit.