Peek-A-WHO?!

Sometimes when I'm bemoaning the fact that most cakes today are just plastic flotsam delivery vehicles...
Here's your cake, enjoy! Just don't try to eat that thing. Or that one. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that.
...Or that.
...I remember there's a REASON bakers rely so heavily on flotsam and toys:
Nemo? More like Ne-NO, am I right?
[Ba-dum-CHA!]
Hold me.
Now, see, this would have been perfect if the customer had actually ASKED for a zombie-fied Spongebob:
As it is, I'm pretty sure little Levi needs therapy now.
This Darth Vader cookie is so ridiculously pathetic that I actually kind of love it:
(At least, I hope it's Vader. If not, then I'm never getting those thirty seconds of squinting back. Never EVER, you guys.)
Seriously, it's so bad I want to hug it.
And I like how the baker just gave up on the other cookie cakes, like she was all, "YOU GET VADER OR YOU GET NOTHING."
And finally, let's end with a little mystery:
WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?
Please, you guys, I have to know.
It says "Where Kermet," so of course my first thought was Kermit the Frog. But it's blonde and has four eyes with a giant red clown nose. Or is the red thing its mouth? And why "Where Kermet?" Where Kermet what? Where he stores his wigs? Where he met his untimely demise?
I went back to Holly J.'s original e-mail, seeking answers, and was delighted to find she'd included a few more angles of the mystery:
....
Well, THAT clears things ups, doesn't it? 0.o
Hang on. Holly says she thinks this is... MISS PIGGY!? Really? I mean, I guess she must be right, but... How. HOW. How is this possible?
I will not rest until I have answers!
Or until I get tired. Or John gets back with our burritos.
But otherwise, TOTALLY NOT RESTING.
Thanks to Sabrina, Kristen O., Sean K., Patrice D., Tori S., & Holly J. for pointing out today's character flaws. We know it's only because you care, guys.
*****
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Reader Comments (40)
If that's Missy Piggy then somebody really needs to brush up on their Google Images search skills -- not to mention the proportions and spelling -- this one is the definition of a "Cake Wreck"
The Vader one looks like something to do with a cowboy hat. It reminds me of those "Guess the line drawing" things where the answer is "a bird's eye view of a man in a sombrero riding a bicycle" or "a naked woman bending over cleaning a bathtub". But not Darth Vader.
I don't think that's SpongeBob, I think its Eh! Steve! from HomestarRunner.
That last cake...(squinting hard)
Am I the only one who sees Baron Greenback's ( from DangerMouse) fuzzy pet Nero, in a blonde wig?
It's even got the antennae, you guys!
The last cake is obviously King Louis VI of France. The King enjoyed a close relationship with Kermit Marquess of Comté sur le marais près de la rue de Sésame. The cake commemorates the Tournoi de cache-cache of 1784 during which Kermit hid, was sought, but sadly was never found. The black "Éclaboussures" upon the royal visage represents Louis' period of mourning which continues to this day.
History.
Apologies to anyone who actually speaks French.
That cookie looks like a Darth Vader - Bram Stoker's Dracula mash-up.
The cavernous holes into another dimension beneath the first set of eyes are intended to be - gulp - Miss Piggy's nose. No, really.
Sad to say, after being a regular Cake Wrecks minion everyday for years, I absolutely had no problem identifying that last cake as Miss Piggy. I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed. *kissy-kissy!*
Those cupcakes beside Vader are what you get when you mix TMNT's with Oscar the Grouch
I can see Miss Piggy. The eyes, the pig nose, the lips, the blonde hair, the pink pig body. What's not to see?
To me the Darth Vader one looks like the bum outline of a nude sunbather and the triangle is her suit. So...
Darth Vader is so abstracted, he's become a pictogram. That's the symbol they used to use in ancient Egypt to mean "very bad guy who's actually your father."
"Where Kermet"- this has to be a foreign cake/baker, right? 'Cause that phrasing is so awkward and grammatically devoid that I will lose all hope if it was made by a fluent English speaker.
Poor SpongeBob has the measles. It is either measles or a severe case of acne. I guess his pores are clogged. He needs treatment with scrubbing bubbles.
Yes, Miss Piggy. The big black airbrushed things are her nostrils.
Wow.
The Vader one... If you turn it upside down, it looks like a tramp stamp on the lower back. Ummm...
Sponge Bob, moldy cheese, moldy kitchen scrubbing sponge?
Poor Nemo looks like he's being served up dead. You requested fish and cake for your birthday kid. Here you go, two in one special!
Miss Piggy, yes it is. They made her nose too big, but that is Miss Piggy!
Tonight on the Muppet Show -Miss Piggy sings "When You Were a Tadpole & I Was Pig Sperm"
Oh, and I guess Spiderman misjudged and went splat against the side of a building. Reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote.
Wa-a-ay too much time on my hands today...
Am I the only one that counted the things on the first. Are and then counted how m at "that one" Jen wrote? I was so happy when the matched. But not surprised. That's why we love Jen. She gets the details!!!
I did NOT see miss piggy on that last one. I guess the phrase was supposed to say 'where's kermit' but they forgot the s. yeesh
Ok the darth vader one is either a lot of black frosting or a really burnt cookie cake. Either way, not appetizing. And I know those are supposed to be her nostrils but why do they look like soul sucking black hole eyes??! why? *whimper*
I really like the Spider-Man Klingon mash-up.
The Spiderman one isn't so bad if you turn it upside down.......lol.....love you guys!
I guess I can draw Darth Vader after all! And here I was thinking it would be hard to draw him on a cake/cookie. Nope! Nothing to it!
(I love it too!!!!!)
The Darth Vader one looks like the Angry Birds version of piggy Darth Vader. Maybe?
SuBee for the win!!!!
SuBee por les Veek Tor Ree!! Well, that exhausted my French.
Ne-No should be Zomb-Ne-No or maybe Abom-Ne-No along with Mr Sponge left in the sink too long. EEeeeuuw
It's not Spiderman... it's Darth Spider Vader Man....
That second one is CLEARLY a little Predator child, dressed as Spider Man for Halloween.
Did no-one else see Marge Simpson in a Spider-Man hood?!
Nemo remains lost.
I feel like that Vader cake needs to become a t-shirt and/or a meme. Too good.
Also, yes, Miss Piggy!
My son said SpongeBob looks like the cinnamon toast crunch people from the commercial. My husband agreed.
Maybe I've watched too much Futurama, but #3 (Spider-Man) looks like Dr. Zoidberg in goggles, and #5 (Darth Vader) looks like Morbo (alien newscaster). As for that last one, ye gods! Miss Piggy has really let herself go, hasn't she?
They gave Miss Piggy a real piglet's body. THEY GAVE MISS PIGGY A REAL PIGLET'S BODY!
I will be laughing about that for days. =-)
Looking at the front of that where kermet thing I at first thought Pennywise had eaten Kermit and Miss Piggy and just sat there waiting. For what I don't know I would run away before I would find that out lol.
Are we sure it's "Where Kermit" and not "When Kermit", as in, "When Kermit married Miss Piggy and they gave birth to this sad, deformed creature?"
This is what happened when Peter Parker tried growing dreads...