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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Feb282017

Hey, THEY Said It, Not Me

Calling all "Qualified" Cake "Decorators"!

Er...

 

Sure, it's a tough job, but someone's gotta poo it.

 

Though it does require you give a flying crap:

 

And be a regular person:

You know, no weirdos.

 

If that's you, then this job could be yours in a pinch!

 

A heaping pile o' fun!

 

Just remember to go with the flow:

But(t) not that much.

(Ooh, looks like the bride finally managed to get... a turd in edgewise.)
(AH THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.)

 

And thanks also to Anneke D., Patricia S., Amy K., Firas, Gail W., Cheyenne B., & Britani O. for passing on... the excitement.

*****

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Reader Comments (29)

These are definitely all shining examples of ---that kind--- of work.

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Since it's award show season...

Now the category of Most unappetizing, creepy, disgusting dessert.

[drumroll]

And the award goes to...

Raising swirl bread pudding desert for $2.49

[clap, clap, clap, clap, clap]

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

You really dropped some good puns today, Jen. That is a whole big pile of steaming puns, that is. Well I gotta make like horse manure and hit the trail now - thanks for the chuckles!

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Awesome!

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryo1230

I just really want to know if that fourth picture is supposed to be "Congrats on 10 years" or "Congrats on tenure"...

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMerida Ann

Never before has chocolate looked so unappetizing O_o

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Erm, is that cheese sprinkled on the poo donuts??

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGhost With Internet Access

Jen, you excrete joy from us with your posts every day!

And @Tere, we're just being told that you announced the wrong winner because some shifty baker gave you the wrong card to read. The real winner is picture #1, "poo covered doughnuts." Our apologies to both PCD and the raisin buns and thanks for going with the flow on this and accepting with good grace.

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

For the "Congrats on 10 year!" cake, since it was not "10 years" - I highly suspect that was supposed to say "Tenure" instead. On the other hand, I'm sure that to the poor soul who worked their butt off to become a fully protected professor, it sure felt like 10 years.

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJennP

Holy piles of frosting, Batman. Those are some steaming examples of poo!

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

What's the green and blue one even supposed to be? Is that a football on the blue blob? Could that be a football field? But would that mean the blue was a football player??

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I had wondered what process of elimination was used to select "qualified" decorators. Looks like they pick the #2 candidate.

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Looking at the label on the Poo River cake makes me think maybe a heavy accent is to blame when Cheech and Chong ordered a "Sheet Cake".

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterA Nonny Mouse

What's with the dessert on a bed of lettuce?!

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I am pondering the same question @Kelly. The only thing that #5 reminds me of is a blue Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas...in a poo field.

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Haha Cessnock is up the road from me a bit. It's a hick Cesspool of a place, the ad kinda fits!!

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSquishi

Do we know if the "Congrats on Ten Year!" cake was supposed to say Tenure or Ten Years?

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKA

The last cake reminded me (not in a good way, mind you) of petting zoos and the lovely round droppings you stepped on everywhere while walking around be accosted by hungry animals. Ugh.

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I'm in tears interspersed with howls of laughter.

Thanks, I needed that!

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Description on the "butt-erfly cake": "1/4 Sheet Yellow Cake with Icing" And, it was "Baked with Pride" at the "Bakery". Awesome!

Description on the "looks like something happened with the artificial turf/d" cake: "Special Order 1/8 Sheet Cake". Thank goodness it was a "special order" - I don't think the baker could have ever repeated this particular design.

Last, but certainly not least, the "To...The Bride ... To Be". Intriguing. I just cannot wrap my brain around this little treasure. There are two koala bears climbing poo trees, a zebra and (what I think is) a lion's butt. I don't remember this design being featured in last month's Bon Appetit. (Perhaps its sister publication, "Lost Appetit"?)

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

Butt-erfly cakes, heaping piles of poo and a honest job description - what else could you ask for?!? Oh who in the world thought of putting chocolate icing on raisin swirl bread pudding? Yuck.

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Sorry Jodi, but the winner here is clearly Number Two. And we mustn't poo-pooh their efforts. But seriously, such cr4ptastic decorating mustn't go without recognition, such as 'man, you're good at this!'.

Perhaps the green and blue one is a depiction of someone having 'dropped the kids off at the pool'?

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKismet

Can we take a moment to acknowledge that the koala flotsome in the bottom corner appears to be doing its best Sports Illustrated on the beach pose?

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Huh... (blinkblink).... I got nuthin'...

March 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Well these nearly made me never want to eat chocolate again. I say nearly cause I doubt anything would make me stop lol. But man that raisin pudding definitely made me want to bleh.

March 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Qualification certificates? Does that mean one has to pass some sort of exam to become a baker? I am stunned! Not at having to be certified-everyone has to be certified to do anything these days. But obviously, the exam isn't doing its job of "protecting the public"! 8-/

March 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Our family has long had the saying (often for somewhat questionable experiences) that it will either look good on your resume or it will make good mulch... Finely here a job calling for mulch on the resume - win win - or perhaps not...

March 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKjill

Although this is for cake related comments the typo in the ad brought me back to my days working at a local paper. They typeset an ad for a jeweler that repaired time pieces. It read "Clock repairs done on premises." only they left out the "L" in CLOCK. They also used to print the weekly public school lunches. They left the "L" out of PUBLIC. Maybe it was a stuck key?

March 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJudiBee

@JudiBee, I love those!

My guess for the poo egg on the blue and green cake was a canoe on a river, in the wilderness.

March 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

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