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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb152017

What Happens In Vagueness 

Reading a wreck can be like deciphering code. Except it's a code where the sender doesn't necessarily know what she's saying, either.

Some are easy:

Yup.

 

Others take a little more work:

No.

(Do we need to go over this again?)

 

And some are downright inscrutable:

That settles it: No more caffeine for Mary.

 

Now, this clearly says "CoNgrat's Spr 2K9 Noo of the Theta Tall of Kappa Alpha Psi To be Kontrua."

But it's all Greek to me.

(Well, half Greek. All inexplicable, half Greek.)

 

So in conclusion,

My thoughts exactly.

 

Thanks to Missie S., Megan B., Tina H., Jessica R., and Jeremy N., for helping us clear that up.

*****

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Reader Comments (43)

It makes no sense but I kinda love the cookie cake one with 23840237408 different themes on it. It's very happy and gives you a lot to look at. Plus a lot of frosting which I'm a fan of. I would love to have a slice after I finish off my fatty platter.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Hmm. That third one forgot Father's Day. Unless the Baby Blocks are for both Mother's Day *and* Father's Day.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

There's no place like Hom?

(I hear the weather there's wonderful this time of year.)

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Cake #3 is obviously from someone too cheap to buy a new cake for every occasion that arises in the year … Either that, or they are trying to stick to their diet and reduce the number of cakes they might eat.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Fatty Platter is now my Band Name of the Day®

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

What the HECK is that second wreck? HOM?? What is that?

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

I would dearly love to get that third one! It's a cookie cake, maxing the icing to substrate ratio! All that icing!!!! DROOL!!!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I like the craziness of the third one. Makes me think of graffiti walls

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSigma

Because it's my birthday, I call dibs on the Fatty Platter!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

Cake #1: "Me Tarzan, You Cake! Mmmmm... Chocolate!"

Cake #3: "Where's Waldo?"

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

Oh, I AM impressed! The third from last specimen covers everything you might want, some you might not, and winds down with your soup de jour: the Zombie apocalypse. (I think the filling is zombie fondant... with sprinkles.)
=^-.-^=

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Let's see how many I can get. In the inscrutable cake, I see Halloween, a baby shower, graduation, summer, fall (represented by the football), spring (represented by the baseball), Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Fourth of July, Christmas, Easter, a baptism, birthday balloons, and Oktoberfest.

Great. Now my eyes hurt!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

It's possible that in #4, "Noo" is meant to be the Greek letter "nu".

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

If the first cake just had an exclamation point or two after the word cake - CAKE!!!!.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

Lady Anne, if you zoom in to the lower centre of the Cookie of Many Holidays you will see a ribbon with blue trim and writing. I believe it says, "#1 Dad." So Father's Day is covered on it's own. Amazing. :-/

Hope John is feeling alright!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJake & Me

That cookie cake is one win of a wreck. Overstimulated bakers can apparently churn out trippy edible masterworks.

Also, "fatty platter" is my new favorite phrase.

The old cookie cake
In some brutal honesty
Read "fatty platter"

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDB

I'm pretty sure the fourth cake says "Theta Tau of Kappa Alpha Psi". Perhaps those crazy kids at Howard U can offer a translation of the rest.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

The "Ham?" cake is clearly celebrating someone's favorite Cards Against Humanity card.
In seriousness, that third cake is probably a display cake, cramming all the available designs onto one.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

In the Mary/caffeine cake, it could be a display model demonstrating all the different designs they could do, with the idea that the final product would have only one design selected from the set of display designs.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHomeshine

I am trying so hard to laugh quietly so I don't wake up the sleeping niece on my lap... that's a challenge with wrecks like these!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I have the honor to be your obedient servant, A dot Hom

The second cake seems to have come from SNL's Stefon: This cake has everything...

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wow ok well if you ate that whole cookie cake yourself it would be a fatty platter and EGADS!!! #3 has too much stuff on it. I see the baby blocks, the graveyard, and the 'fun in the sun' sticky but there's so much other stuff I don't know what it is!!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

The baby cake has one redeeming quality. There are no heads coming out of lady bits and for that, I am grateful.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSue W..

That third one.. I really kinda love.. because of this guy: http://www.intuoutsiderart.com/maMulligan.html it reminds me of him.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Moreton

I can't think of anything clever, so just "Fatty Platter!" I do adore the Everything but the Kitchen Sink one. WOnder if there's a kitchen sink on it somewhere?

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdeb in atlanta

I wonder if a "Fatty Platter" is the illicit offspring of a cookie cake and a pu pu platter. The poor child looks tasty but sadly also bears an unfortunate name.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEselle

The inscrutable cake looks like a Richard scary book cover.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Definitely not ham...... looks like cake to me....

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDi

Part of me doesn't want to count #1 as a wreck. Another part shouts, "Do you think we're stupid?!"

For #3, I think someone ordered a "holiday cake" and wasn't specific.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I love #3. The dolphin, catapiller,, the unicirn? (Or possibly dragon) and the ring pop got me. I see the seasons, sports , awards, and holidays, but cant figure why those things were included. On the other hand, most of it is recognizable. LOL

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMoonfl9wr912

Hmm, I'll go with "Congrats 2Kg of the Theta New (Nu) Tau of Kappa Alpha Psi to be kon'twa."

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterR3test

@ Angie. You found an impressive number of holiday/special event references! However, I think there are a few more. A ring for an engagement party, a rocket ship for a farewell party for the next NASA launch, a flying unicorn for those of us who need to know that we are special, and grapes for...well...something with wine?

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

I'm digging the third one, too. So colorful, so many things to see. I agree, it's like Where's Waldo or a Richard Scarry book!

February 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Well, you guys must sense this one coming by now...

Fatty Platter is my new Drag Name! Serving voluptuous country REALNESS.

Cheers!

Storm

February 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

I was totally about to put money down on that fun in the sun bit being a collage of like homecoming posters or something... until i saw what is clearly unmistakable for beer and a martini. I mean, but what else can explain an overloaded montage including dolphins, babies, penguins, rainbows, Christmas trees and hopefully gnomes that look like candy corn all combined under one generic title? something to commemorate high school trauma for sure! But martinis....maybe for the theater group who reenacted an episode of mad men???

February 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

"Cake" made me giggle far more than it should have. Does the second one say "Ham"? Is that why it's pink?

February 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

#3 rocks! I especially like the brown Santa in a boat fishing for a rabbit-eared dolphin.

Way to practice, decorator of cake #3! Just remember: practice cakes are not meant to be sold to the public, unless you were wanting public mocking...

February 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAbi

Second post on this one but #3 reminded me of an old game show intro:
"If you can find the ring in this picture...then you have a chance at going through our Room Romp! Where what you find is what you keep on Finders Keepers!"

February 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

I still would take the fatty platter and eat the darn thing without sharing it lol. Just cause I am evil that way and I like cookies lol.

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Love inscrutable cake ... just love it! I'd love to think it was made to be silly rather than a sampler. That would make my day.

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

I thought maybe the second cake was meant to say "Prom?"

Party platter? Only why would you put that on a cookie?

February 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterS

I am absolutely fascinated with #3. From the dolphin with two arms (I refuse to think they are anything but arms!) to the frog/alien thing at end of the rainbow. There's golf clubs above the Xmas tree and a pegasus-unicorn hybrid next to the baby blocks with the Pillsbury Doughboy fishing below it. But my favorite has to be the Ku Klux Kandycorn below the graduation cap and next to the marble tombstone cross.

February 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

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