Monday
Nov272017
The Sign Post
November 27, 2017
Better watch out for this bakery, henchpersons:
I hear they'll hang you out to dry.
"TELL US HoW WE ARE DOing.."
"An O you co-A WIN... " uh, some assorted scribbles.
Hey, uh, guys?
YOU'RE ON CAKE WRECKS.
What's that tell you?
Now, tell me what the mystery blob with the vaguely butterfly-like thing on it is supposed to be, and we'll call it even.
The bakers wielding the pastry bags aren't the only culprits, though:
I've seen a lot of these cakes. They live up to their name.
Aw, now why is "home made" in quotes? From that gooey ooze dripping out the bottom I can tell it's JUST like "home made." (Love you, Mom!)
*sigh*
Personally I don't see how you can use a "thank you," no matter WHICH underwear it might belong to.
(Give it a minute.)
(Theeere it is.)
Hey, Melissa P., Jennifer D., April G., Dani, Kelsey H., & Claire M., there's your sign.
*****
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Reader Comments (23)
The thong's …what? So many disgusting possibilities
Clearly that winged blob is a turkey.
CLEARLY.
Where's my $ 200 0 00?
As someone who lived in the San Lorenzo Valley for two years, I know exactly where that Oblivious Cake came from.
I have to wonder what they meant by "oblivious." Did they ask some troll for a good adjective?
Thong's, huh? WITH an apostrophe, no less. And while I've heard of Death by Chocolate, Oblivion by Chocolate sounds a little bit less permanent.
I am DYING!!! Use The Thong's WHAT? Power of persuasion? They'll either buy the things or not....And I'd hate to even think of the consequences of not heeding the bold letters. That means something..... ("Psst: anyone know WHAT?")
Then, there's the sideline,"cover" operation....the Laundrobake... leftover suds make great frosting....EH??
=^-.-^=
The sign said, "Maria's Laundromat", but I think it's a fake.
So I went inside and I said to them, "What's with all the cakes?
Do you wash clothes or do you bake cakes? What is that you're doing?
Maybe you just set it up like this, so with our minds you'd be screwing."
Signs, signs, everywhere these signs.
They make no sense, they're messing with my mind.
It isn't just all the wrecks,
but their stupid signs.
The sign said, "Tell us how we're doing." I couldn't read the rest.
I jumped up and down and yelled at them, "That cookie thing's a mess.
This disaster is truly a wreck. I think I'd call it a sin.
What the heck does this one line mean - 'And you can co-a win?' "
Signs, signs...
Hey, listen, buyer, can you read?
This cake is oblivious to you and me.
This in-store bread, it's "home made"
The warning's bold so it won't fade.
The sign said, "Please use thong's thank you". What the heck's that mean?
So I went inside to confront these fools - I was ready to scream.
So I got me a pen and a paper and made up my own little sign.
"These bakers not only make awful wrecks, but their advertising's out of line."
Signs, signs, everywhere these signs.
With them there's no reason, nor a rhyme.
These bakers should give up
Making cakes and signs.
Thing on the how we doing sign is a thumbs up....how else would you make it?
TV reporter: "So, Mike, what would you do if the laundromat/bakery offered you a job?"
Mike: "I'd take off my hat and say, 'Imagine that! Me wrecking for you!'"
I think (screws up eyes and tilts head) that the weird blob thing is a "thumbs up" symbol, because they are clearly oblivious as to how "grate" they really are...
As an Aussie, my mental image to go with the thong sticker was of people picking up the bread with what Americans call flip-flops.
Down Under, 'thongs' are the minimalist footwear that I believe our cousins in Murka refer to as 'flip-flops'. Makes for some hilarious misunderstandings when those from Up There come to visit us Down Here. But frankly, I'm not sure that handling bakery items with our thongs would be any improvement on using your thongs. Bare hands are probably a lot safer than either option.
As for the chocolate oblivious cake, I have no idea what that is, but I now want to eat chocolate cake until I am oblivious.
I've been to the laundromat/bakery XD It's in New Jersey.
When I was a kid, thongs was what we called flip-flops. So shoes or underwear... ick.
Mike takes the cake today.
Lol I am dying here... what the heck are these wreckerators thinking? Or not considering what these look like lol.
The butterfly-like thing is obviously their attempt at the New England Patriots logo. Only a little sideways. And with an extra plume. Or maybe too few plumes? Hard to tell..
Of course, the ORIGINAL thong, from which both uncomfortable footwear and uncomfortable underwear derive, is simply a leather strap, about 3-5mm wide. Of the sort you might use as a shoelace, corset lace, decorative stitching on a saddle, etc. I imagine picking up cake with a thong would be messier and less effective that trying to eat meringue with chopsticks. But hey, new sport: cake lassoing! You have one yard of thong, you can tie any knots you like, must pick up the cake from table A, transport it to table B without dropping it and then consume the cake. Time limit 5 minutes. I want to see pictures if you try it!
I think the "weird blob" is the face and arm, the chocolate is the body, and the two squares on the bottom are feet. It's got high top hair and a pointed ear.
It's supposed to be a person! Advertising...uh, a$2,000 0,00 prize for telling them they're doing good. (Because that's the only way they'll be rated good).
All I can see in the mystery blob is a scruffy top hat on a caldron, as though the Mad Hatter had run afoul of Macbeth's witches...
re: that "oblivious cake": what do you expect from a company that misspells the name of its own town? (It's Scotts Valley, not Scott's Valley.)
I am also in the crowd where thongs were made of colored rubber and one wore them on one's feet.
When I was a kid (waaaaaay back in the 50's & 60's), we called those rubber shoes "thongs" here in Murca, too. Before that, they were called "zories" and "beach walkers". I think the term "flip-flops" came into use in the late 70's or early 80's. That thing on the "Tell us how we're doing" cake I think is supposed to be a big money sack tied at the top.