Halloween Tips
October 30, 2017 Tomorrow's the big day, people, so before you hit the streets to go trick-or-treating, here are some useful "guidelines" for having a safe and scream-worthy night:
Never accept rides from strangers.
;)
Especially if you see fingers hanging out of the trunk.
Wear reflective clothing:
;)
Or just something so unbelievably hideous that people won't be able to NOT notice you. You know, like Crocs and a Speedo. (As a bonus: EVERYONE will want your picture!)
Watch out for roving gangs of lower-case Ms:
;)
They're vicious this time of year. VICIOUS.
If you're trying to scare someone, don't yell "Boo!" It's not scary enough.
Instead yell, "SCARY BOO!"
;)
It also helps if you can throw spiders on them.
Never assume you know what someone's costume is.
One person's Elvis is another's Dracula, and you really don't need that kind of awkwardness.
;)
"I vant choo to stay off of my blue svade shoos! Muah! Ah! Ah!"
ALWAYS SAY "THANK YOU."
Even if they give you crap candy like generic lollipops and little bags of candy corn*:
;)
*Actual candy we will be giving out on Halloween. Plus little boxes of Milk Duds. Y'all come by, y'hear?
And try to look grateful when you're saying "thank you," too - not like this:
;)
"This is my happy face."
Lastly, and mostly importantly...
BEWARE THE TOILET PAPER TERROR:
;)
He also goes by "The Spirit of Gasses Past."
Reader Comments (21)
Is that a dill pickle on the orange cake? Now, that IS really scary!
Ahehehe
Oh, yeesh ...I read your "lower case ms" too quickly, and thought (sadly, I might add) that it COULDN'T possibly be Jen, because I READ it as "lower class" ms, instead of "case"!
What a nut. You wouldn't pick on a little m!! Whew! Happy again...
(Don't worry; my meds have been ordered.) =^~.-^=
Personally, I love the hidden Shelob on the reflective closing one.
#1) This bus always arrives at dead ends.
#2) I've arachnid my brains trying to figure this wreck out.
#3) The building on the upper left - the house at Poo Corner?
#4) "The fuzzy-wuzzy spider was piped upon the cake.
This is the kind of thing that wreckerators make.
Out of the oven and in the display case.
Of this kind of wreck, there is no saving grace."
#5) With a nose like that, everything is going to smell crappy.
#6) Is that a bandage across his face? Must have been a horrific shaving accident.
#7) Yogi Bear's little friend was skinned alive. You can tell it was him because his name is above his head.
#8) Guess this toilet paper is happy because it hasn't suffered a wipe-out yet.
@Lady Anne: No, that's just the shiny board underneath.
The itsy bitsy spider(s) climbed up the wrecks to pout.
Out came the knife to cut the poison out...
Down in the drain, the mess was flushed (no doubt)...
And the itsy bitsy spider(s) were done:they hadn't any clout.
=^-.-^=
I LIKE Milk Duds!!!
That bus is great, it's dumb in the right kind of way.
As for that awful toilet paper mummy cake, that's actually what the company wants it to be. This is the photo reference they have that they want their decorators to aspire to: https://i.imgur.com/CKcYWvR.png
I totally read "This IS my happy face" in Tommy Lee Jones's voice...thank you. (and is it weird that it totally threw me when I saw the cheerleading coach was Prentiss from Criminal Minds??)
You know, I though Elvis Dracula was a space pig....
What’s this I see,
from which this horror stems?
‘Tis the creepy invasion
of lower case m’s….
Escaping the alphabet
on this Hallowed Eve,
they land in your hair
(it’s a pet peeve).
They’ve abandoned their candy
and taken to flight;
no longer so sweet,
they’re aiming for fright.
There’s nothing so scary
as runaway letters,
they make us uneasy,
they’re real up-setters.
Aw... I can't be the only one that thought of the lowercase n, can I?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btVGz294X0w
I adored that song. And the Capitlal I.
lol toilet paper cake
No really, is that a pickle as a mouth on the “pumpkin”?
@ Mike, oh dear, I fear you are correct...Boo Boo must have changed his blue bow tie to a green one for the special occasion before he got skinned...poor Boo Boo!!!
Plus:
At least the Barbie cake doesn't just have a Barbie head on it with the hair spilling all over the frosting like most Halloween Barbie Wrecks...that makes me shiver EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Half Dracula, then look, add a mutton chop and here's Elvis! Hilarious!
And the candy corn cake...WHO THOUGHT it was OKAY to display that??? Someone has severe cataracts or needs a LOT of psych therapy...
Are we sure that's a spider under the "Scary Boo"? It might be a sea urchin on a fishing net.
I thought it was some sort of fish decoration, but now I see the pickle. And yes, I saw a space pig, too.
That orange monstrosity has a pickle in it's mouth.. talk about leaving a sour taste in your mouth lol that mixed with cake makes me wanna run for the hills.
I like the RIP bus! And Milk Duds!
I really don't think that's a pickle. I think that they assembled the cupcake with a gap there for the mouth, and we are seeing the corrugated cardboard base showing through. Just my opinion--I'd be curious to find out for sure.