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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan172017

Maps, Minecraft, & Minnie, Oh My!

Grace wanted this map cake of the U.S.:

 

But got something in a terrible state:

I'm not sure which one, but I think we can agree all these states are terrible.

 

Kelly asked for this Minecraft cake for her son's fifth birthday:

 

It... didn't square up:

 

And finally, Rebecca ordered this sweet Minnie Mouse:

 

But instead, got a major mess:

o.0

I can't stop staring at the hair-like black wires. At first I thought those were supposed to be her arms?
I mean, they're not, but now you can't unsee it, either, so... you're welcome. [evil grin]

 

Thanks to Grace E., Kelly E., & Rebecca O. for ratting Minnie out.

*****

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Reader Comments (65)

It appears Minnie has died (given the state of her eyes) and the baker pulled a Weekend at Bernie's with those wires.

Some of the wires are also holding up the star-shaped charcoal briquettes.

Poor Emma.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

If this demonstrates how bakers see images that are right in front of them, it must be that Salvador Dahli's eyesight provided him with a vision of the world that was exactly as he portrayed in his art.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Is Minnie wearing a strait-jacket? Really it looks like her arms are wrapped around her rather strangely. The map, well I kept losing count but I got something like 55 states.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKJill

My dear husband just walked by and said, "Florida looks a bit engorged..."
I'm more concerned about New York. Is that Connecticut blocking my access to the beach. Get thee back, Nutmeg State!
Anyway, the second map explains a lot.

Jett is 5 and his name is Jett. He'll be fine with the cake he received.

In regard to the last cake: I believe many people fail to recognize that when the zombie apocalypse happens, no one will be safe including beloved cartoon characters.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Numbers 1, 3, and 5 are pretty good, actually.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLaShawna

Thank you for sharing and honouring babies birthday this year. Xx

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca O

I count 56 states on that "US" map cake. It's like they're not even trying!

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBergman Oswell

Out of all of them, the Minecraft cake was the closest. Which is kind of pathetic.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

Map cake #1 is missing Michigan's upper peninsula. Guess it fell into Lake Superior!
Map cake # 2 would make a great party game: Name That State, with points for creativity.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClare

In regards to the first two pictures,neither one shows The United States. What they both show is the contiguous 48 states. There are 50 states in The United States of America, Alaska the 49th state and Hawaii the 50th state.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJanice in Alaska

On the bright side, at 5 I doubt Jett is scrutinizing enough to be disappointed by the Minecraft cake - I mean, it does "look" like Minecraft . . .

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I tried to label the states. It didn't go well.
http://i.imgur.com/NvERshU.jpg

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHaine

I count 55 states.

I kind of have to commend the baker on their ability to make it look like a pile of random shapes while also making some of the states recognizable.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

It always amazes me how some people think just because they took a lesson at Michael's or Hobby Lobby that they are actually good enough to charge someone for a cake. I mean, actually make someone PAY for their lack of knowledge and skill. OUCH those are sad.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJacki

OMG! I stopped counting @ 54 "states" and it looks to me as if they combined baja Mexico w/Florida to get one.big.mess.

I have no words for the second cake.

The third cake - the RAT cake would scare most children, I would think. But that's just me.

ROTFLMAO as always!

MaryO1230

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

In all fairness, they nailed Oklahoma on the second cake.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Bwah ha ha ha ha! I can't stop staring at that map wreck! I think the only state who didn't get complete botched was Oklahoma, though it seems to have gained in area. I'm from Wyoming, which there seems to be two of on the map. How hard is it to create a rectangle?!

Minnie seems to be constructed (badly) out of hearts. Her head is a black one, her face is a scary one, and her body is two heart blobs, to compliment the hearts on her dress. Yeeek!!

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@Lisa: Weekend at Minnie's?

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Love the map cakes. On the first one, I can see my state of Arizona.
On the second one I can see my state of Confusion.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterT

About that 2nd cake; Alaska about Hawaii, but the baker might lei.
=^-.-^=

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Minnie Mouse celebrates Dia de los Muertos. :-p

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

What is that itty-bitty state between Florida and---what the heck is THAT? And where is Maryland? Oh, never mind!

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

The decorator of the map cake excelled in her stained glass class but, sadly, failed U.S. geography.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

Oh, my poor beloved Texas! What have they done to you?

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterALLEGRA

I think this is the first time in my life I wasn't able to find Michigan on a map...*bows head in despair as I realize my lifetime of finding places on my hand has failed me*

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Who knew you could travel from Texas to California and only cross one state boundary?!

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterVW

Love the plastic hair barette on the Minnie cake.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

What is that state between LA and FL?? I think they decorator added a few states in there...

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Q

Map cake: That Florida looks painfully swollen, yeeow

Minnie cake: Anyone else reminded of the dog kennel transformation scene from John Carpenter's 'The Thing'?

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Ridiculous

Wow, Texas now borders California. That will make it easier for us to get to Disneyland!

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

On the bright side, travelling from Austin to Los Angeles got a whole lot shorter.
But, I think we lost Nevada. Bummer.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

I had trouble finding TEXAS (my home state) ~ and if you can't see Texas on a map, something's gone terribly wrong.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTerryLee

With that map cake, what exactly did they think they were doing?? I love the little random state shapes squeezed in at odd angles.

*shaking my head and laughing*

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I pledge amusement to the United Cakes of America
And to its free-form redrawing by hand
One cakewreck, underdone,
With laziness and junk maps for all.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Protip: For Minecraft cakes, make the cake that they eat IN minecraft.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

I'm impressed that they even managed to botch Colorado. We're literally a rectangle. Well done!

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterC

Looking at Minnie, or rather, trying not to....
In The Dark Crystal when they "Drain the Essence" of the Podlings....
Yeah, that deeply affected me as a 5yr old, that's all I can see. The cataracted eyes and their little potato sack clothes....
Need to make a date w/a therapist.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNess

Now we know what the US will look like after the massive earthquake that shifts most of the nation west several hundred miles and creates several new states.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterelsalgal

I think all of the upper and lower pennisula Michigan "snowbirds" emigrated to Florida in the second map cake. It's even bigger than Texas! Lol...

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPam S.

What is the small yellow state between Florida and Louisiana? I'm so confused

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

As a third generation Missourian, I am appalled that I cannot find my home state on this map! Show me the Show Me state!

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Could you imagine if southern California DID border in Texas? I've got a feeling California would become Northern Texas

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

The map cake could have been worse if it was made out of cupcakes so maybe this one isn't so bad?

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSandie

Huh, when did we add more states? I must have missed that.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Denghel

How many states are there again?

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBeperk

They've split Ohio in two, or Indiana into 3. Hard to tell.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

As far as that wrecky state cake: Ha! Florida only WISHES it could be larger than Texas! (sorry Jen, John, and all other Floridians)

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMSTeacher3K

As someone not from the states, i would have no clue that either of those maps contain errors. lol (sorry US people they don't teach us your map in detail)
It makes me so glad that i only had to learn 6 states and 2 territorys lol i would of failed geography

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterraaychl

California is touching my fair state of Texas? Ewww, I feel unclean.

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDances With Lasagna

What's that little tiny state between the Florida panhandle and Louisiana? And when did Alabama and Mississippi become overlords of the Florida panhandle and Louisiana? I like where Georgia (my state) has a cone shape at the top of the state........hummmmm, someone needs to look at a map, maybe they need the playschool puzzle version of the United States. I tried counting the states and it looks like there are a few more in the lower 48 than there should be..............55, 56?

January 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersara rawlins

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