Prepare for ALL the "Horny" Jokes
January 12, 2017 Have you seen these new unicorn cakes going around?
;)
They're adorable and fairly simple to make, so of course they're hugely popular. And talk about a gift to bakers! All you need are a plain round cake, a few flowers, some eyes, ears, and a horn. Boom.
Done.
How do you mess that up?
I'll answer that question with another question:
Unicorn horns: do they really NEED a point?
;)
Yes, yes they do.
FUN FACT: I looked up "Horny" in my thesaurus, and no lie, one of the synonyms is "hot to trot." I can't even make this stuff up.
Of course, some might argue Mister Sex Ed* there has a horn that looks more like a cigar, but that's a fallacy. ('Cuz that's a phallus, see?)
Ooh, I just realized this cake gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "horsing around." Heyooo.
And to something that rhymes with "thickhead." Heyoooooo.
So the next time you feel like betting on the ponies, minions, just make sure your baker gets a grip, and doesn't blow it.
[*COME ON THAT WAS GENIUS... to everyone over the age of 40.]
Thanks to Diane C. for the excuse to write the Mister Ed pun my soul has always yearned for.
*****
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Reader Comments (35)
This is laugh-out-loud funny! Of course, if *I'd* gotten a cake with a loaf of bread sticking out of he top, it probably wouldn't have been quite so amusing. Lawsy, lawsy, lawsy!
Sooooo many jokes to be made....
I'm assuming that they're putting it in a car so they can drive it off a cliff before the children see it.
You crack me up Jen. Always.
ROTFLMAO and indeed it WAS genius Jen and I AM over 40 (63 to be exact) and I'm picking myself up off the floor. Laffing SOOOOOOOOOOO much! This blog makes my day and no mistake!
Well the baker could a been a Bill Clinton fan......(this jokes a thinker) hint ...what u said the horn COULD ALSO look like...
o.0
I just have two questions about the second cake:
1. Where are the ears?
2. Should I consider it a PG-13 or R rated cake?
#dunnowhattothink
Looks like a baguette to me.
So if it's Mister Sex Ed, does it have a peanut butter filling? :D
I'm curious as to the use of macarons on its head. The flowers and swirls for mane make sense. But macarons stuck randomly into that is confusing. And I'm not touching the "horn"! ;}
So, the first three times I looked at this cake, and after I got through all the sex jokes going through my mind, I finally realized that the original non-wreck was indeed supposed to be a unicorn based on a cutesy pony, rather than a kitten. I thought maybe that other animals sporting horns was a new trend or something. (A unipuss? Insert joke of your choice here!)
And, like @Tere, I was bugged that the second cake didn't have ears. And that, y'know...it sports a big gold phallic baggette!
Piers Anthony had a series called Incarnations of Immortality. The Chronos book had Satan commenting about the Alicorn. Something along the lines of a long, hard object being laid in a virgin's lap with a "C'mon, I can't be the only one thinking that." type quote.
This was the first thing that I thought of upon seeing the second cake. And it has been decades since I read that book.
I think I see an ear behind the red rose to the left of the golden do..., er, breadstick....
Okay, moving beyond the fact that the horn looks like the end of a baguette that's been spray painted gold (and that its leaning to the left for some reason), what's with the macaroons shoved in there? Are they supposed to be the ears? If so, is this like an odd Picasso unicorn? And the weird, cupcake top blobs of icing... How did such a simple idea get messed up so badly?
Good job with the eyes though. Those are cute.
The baker, and I use that term loosely, HAD to have done this ON PURPOSE. I mean, Come on! Now, if it was sold as a Bride to Be Stag gift, it would be perfect! After all, young grooms all think their 'horn' should be a thing immortalized in gold as something to behold, or, ummmm, beheld?
"AWwww, WILBURrrrrr.....!!!!"
=^-.-^=
Hey I'm only 34 and I got your reference! :)
I don't know, I think that thing to the left, behind the pink "flower," looks like an ear, and it seems like there might be another hidden behind the green lumpy thing.
As for the horn, the overjoyed eyes on the cake make it look intentional. It's a VERY happy unicorn.
Are the macarons supposed to be the ears???? And is it just me, or does it look like the baker forgot to frost over the crumb coat?!
Oy! All they had to do was use an ice cream cone! I guess the simpler the cake, the simpler it is to wreck!
But goodness that first cake is absolutely adorable!!
I really can't think of a single occasion when I'd be disappointed to receive a wienercorn cake. I'm going to have to pin that bad boy for inspiration.
And the eye thingys, er, lashes are upside down on the second. On the first, the lashes look demure, while on the second, the lashes look like scraggly tooth brushes.
It's a uniporn.
"A Dong is a dong, don't get me wrong//And dongs on a cake are ALWAYS wrong//Unless, so long, as that there dong/is appearing in) sex Ed."
(Sorry, I had to do it.
The first thing I thought of when I saw the second cake was Austin Powers - "Goldmember".
You are the QUEEN of puns. Love, love, love. Thank you for giving me a smile every day.
Oh man this cake had my husband laughing even harder than I was. We hope that wasn't for a kids party otherwise I just bet the adults tried hard not to laugh and or run off and hide the cake lol.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Groan.
Many thanks for the laughs ... excellent. Wreckerator, not so much.
I admire the fact they couldn't even get the facial expression correct. That takes effort.
D'aw, what a cute mushroom cap...
Applause to Cathy!
And joining in with those who thought it looked more like a baguette -- still inappropriate, but less offensive!
I don't know if the unicorn horn needs a point or not...but if it doesn't have a point, is it really a prick?
I giggle out our every time I read "heyooo". Thank you for the hilarious writing. You are a bright spot in my day!
Cathy wins the Internets!