Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep122016

AW YEAH WEDDING WRECKS

We can only post what you minions send in, and lately there's been a dry spell in everyone's favorite department:

So imagine my delight when we got three wedding wrecks this week! And I'm not talking the Bridezilla-ish "I wanted sand beige and the baker gave us ecru" - these are actually horrible!

WAHOO!!

Maybe I shouldn't be this happy about that.

Anyway.

Luanne H. writes, "We hired a local catering lady to do our cake. She showed up 45 minutes late, and THIS IS THE CAKE SHE PRESENTED TO US!!!

 

Yep, I'd say that's a wreck that deserves all caps and three exclamation marks, Luanne. Condolences.

*****

 

Jessi H. writes, "When I showed the baker this cake, her literal reaction was, 'That's it? That's all you want? That's so simple!'"

Hey, confidence is good, right?
Unless of course it's on THIS blog, so... BUCKLE UP.

Please, Jessi, do go on.

 

"The day of the wedding, during the cake cutting, we joked about how we really didn't know how to cut it, but it didn't matter because we couldn't possibly make it look worse."

Ahh, but then...

 

They took the greenery off.

 

*****

 

And finally, Stevie R. writes: "I paid $400 for this..."

 

"...and got this:"

 

 

Thanks to Luanne H., Jessi H., and Stevie R. for sharing your pain. And to the rest of you, don't you have a wedding wreck to send us?!

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Rey From Star Wars Gets World's Crappiest Princess Cake | Main | Sunday Sweets Sings the Blues »

Reader Comments (66)

No wonder the divorce rate is so high...

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I want to know, do bakery cake contracts allow people to get a refund if their cake is a wreck? Surely there has to be some clause that says it must look close to what is in the picture of what was ordered? Isn't there? I think I'd post-date my check until after the event, and cancel the check if need be.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBirdergirl

They PAID for these …things. I bet the first "local catering lady" charged extra for the fly topper as well.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Pretty sure that second cake is just shaped Styrofoam.

And thanks for the Dean gif. Makes my day.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

So many questions! How can a professional deliver something like that in good conscience? How do you make the decision to say, "done, I'm okay with giving this to a client"? As the client, do you tell them immediately that you expect a refund? Do you take photos in the prescence of the delivery person for proof?

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

Anyone else think the second cake is improved without the greenery? lol

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryD

I'm so confused with #2. How is that even remotely close to what was ordered???????

I'd really like to hear the conversations upon delivery with some of these. Do the bakers ACKNOWLEDGE that they are delivering horrific messes that look nothing like what was ordered/promised? Do they apologize? Do they offer refunds? To be a fly on the wall... or in the case, on the cake.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHaley

I just feel sad. So,so sad. And I try to find the funny in most everything. These are so far removed from not just their intended look but looking like something a professional would actually want associated with their name. How can they do this?
The last one doesn't even look like cake. It looks like something you throw in the trash on a night with no moon and wake up to find all living thing, indeed even the non-living , are being crushed as this Cake Thing slowly oozes across the Earth.
But for the brides, I just feel sad.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSmarie

Had to embiggen to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Yup, the first cake still has its cake boards. Yikes.

Cake 3: Amongst all the other horrors, did they ask for the color change?

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPam B

Words fail me, other than to say that those are REALLY bad.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRevSqueeze

Well someone would be wearing mine if they had the gall to try that this on ME.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

Perfect GIF usage XD XD but in all seriousness, how do these bakers not express shame at their incompetence? Did no one say maybe try another career?!?!?!? O_o

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Well this is a first for me. I could not look past that first wreck. I can't stand flies, and to see one on a cake, a wedding cake yet...

That idiot is lucky it wasn't me, is all I've got to say.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Okay, I usually regard some of these submissions with a healthy dose of skepticism, but today, I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I'm speechless.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNutmeg

THERE IS A FLY ON THE FIRST CAKE!!! ( Note my use of all caps and 3 !!! )

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSomerhill

Most of the time I slam the Bridezilla. I don't know what derailed on that first one. I'd be giving the catering lady a beat down with my wedding stiletto heel.

I get people over promise, and want the moon for $350. FFS does anyone have a working brain anymore?

Why doesn't the bakery call and say, "We f*cked up your cake. Is there a plan B you'd like?" I would have taken store bought cheese cake over cake #1. Thing looks like it was iced on the floor of a gas station restroom.

I'd love to know the price quote on the second cake. Did they agree on the riser to cut the cost? Or was it make a $3K cake for $400?

Cake #3, oh no you don't. That's just criminal. Baseball bat with rail road spike through it time. Is that an acceptable way to show rage? Probably not, but sometimes pain is all stupid people understand.
I'm ignoring the blue color change. That is the least of that cake's worries...

I don't ever pay cash on a big purchase. At least you can make their lives miserable by throwing the bill into contest via Visa or whoever.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFord_Prefect

One last thing.....

My cousin had a wedding cake wreck this year. It was on of those fondant/humidity/heat battles.
The difference is the bakery called her when they realize it would be a losing battle.

My cousin had her melt down and handed the phone over to her mother.

To make it right, and have something not cringe worthy, the bakery did these beautiful wedding cupcakes, little cheesecake tarts, and fruit tarts. They spent all evening sending texts and pictures back and forth.

The cake table was beautifully done, and so elegant. My cousin broke down crying because it was much more than she expected. Everything was delicious.

I get you can be a MOF level pastry chef, and crap happens. I'm amazed bakeries just do a f*ck it when things go wrong. At least with my cousin, it worked out. Bakery really went the extra mile to make it right, compared to the above foolios.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFord_Prefect

That second one...looks like fabric. It's not fabric, right? Please tell me that's not fabric.

Actually, is that any better?

On second thought, please tell me that IS fabric...

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKai Y. Lowell

how on gods green earth is that last one $400.00 dollars??? it was small..I hope steve sued the wrecker!

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlibby

Wow! All of a sudden I feel A LOT better about the His&Her weddingcakes I am making for Saturday. Even though I am only a "happy amateur" at fancy cake making, I have NEVER made anything as horrible and just plain wrong as this :-O

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

These are so far beyond horrible; I feel so sorry for these brides. I realize accidents sometimes happen to the cake; but there is no excuse to show up with any of these and not offer a full refund and apology. As a baker, these make me sad and very angry.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commentertonya

Excellent use of gifs. (I especially approve of the Jensen Ackles gif. Always, always appropriate!)

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

These wrecks raise an interesting question for me. In the event that a customer (bride) pays in advance for an attractive cake, and one of these wrecks is delivered, what is the appropriate response from a legal perspective, so that the bride doesn't start her married life feeling that she has been shafted? At the time of contract execution, what documentation should the bride have of the agreed upon design? Do bakery contracts provide a formula for discount in the event of non-or-poor-performance? What documentation needs to be secured at the reception to document that the delivered goods were not what was ordered and paid for? Are there any lawyers willing to give advice on this blog on the subject?
I applaud the bakery mentioned in Ford Perfect's post. They had a professional response. These other bakeries need to be held to public shaming for delivering such detritus and thinking it's ok. If the baker is an amateur, then none of this criticism applies. That happened to my sister-in-law, a teacher. One of her class parents begged her to let her bake the cake- for a christmas wedding. it was, shall we say, over the top, and my sister in law was mortified when she saw it. The maid of honor stepped in and ran to the supermarket, and bought a plain sheet cake and a cupcake, She had them split the cupcake and arrange the halves like bells in the middle of the cake. Simple and saved the day. Maybe that is an effective role someone else can have to take the stress off the bride, to be there when the cake is delivered, make and executive decision and swing into rescue mode if necessary.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin

Cake 1: There's a fly. On the cake. Just, eww.

Cake 2: How on God's green earth does one go from the inspiration cake to ... that? Just how?

Cake 3: I love his expression in the corner of the picture. Certainly fitting for a $400 nightmare like that.

I'm so glad you got more wedding missed marks for our enjoyment! Poor brides.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

As soon as I scrolled down to the last wreck I shouted "Shamu!" Which caused my office neighbor to shout "what????" Just add some eyes and you've got a long lost cartoon character from my youth!

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMom A

I believe number two - they looked past the cake and saw that tree thing out the window and used that as an example instead. That's my opinion, anyway.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterConstance

I don't care if it was make a $3000 cake for $400! If that cake is a $400 cake THEN I AM IN THE WRONG BUSINESS!!! (seriously, as someone who only makes cakes for family, who learned the Wilton method secondhand, who has never taken a real class, who has refused every "please make me a cake and I will pay for it because your cakes are so awesome" translation "I want a cheap cake" offer, even I would seriously have to intentionally screw up to make cakes this bad.)

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

I also want to be a fly in the wall (or the cake) to know how the reveal conversations go. Someone has to be able to recount this. Maybe ask for detailed caption information, or start doing Cake Wreck videos. These are better 'you've been punked' moments than Ashton ever did!

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa DiPrete

Just.......wow

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie H

OMG! the cakes are HORRID (those poor people!), but the gifs you found to go with the photos!? HILARIOUS! Well done! \o/

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

Looking at the "what they wanted" and the "what they got," all I can think is that there is no possible way the bakers could have gotten those any more WRONG except by icing a hatbox. OTOH that looks like what they did.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

That first cake: I'd say that was 45 minutes well spent!

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

Those are all truly awful! The Dean gif at the end is perfect!

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterk

In their defense, number 2's sample picture has another object in it...a tree. A tree, that looks very similar to the resulting cake!

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMPo

A Dean Winchester gif!!!! 😍😍😍

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

My 10-year-old daughter just tried icing cupcakes with a tip for the very first time last week. Let me say - I have no experience so shouldn't be "teaching" her anything. I made my own buttercream which was much too soft for using with a tip (which we bought at the grocery store and were plastic pieces of crap). And we used a sandwich baggie for the icing thingymabob because I don't have any real decorating supplies. And I let her go at it and have fun. Her decorating was MILES better than cake #1. I mean, MILES!!! That is so bad that I almost want to call shenanigans.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca D

The second one looks more like the palm tree (?) outside the window than the cake.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmy D

I have a few pictures of wreck-worthy wedding cakes. However, I've never sent them in. Really, it's to protect the innocent or because I just can't convince myself that 1) the bride, 2) the bride's mother, or 3) the baker knew any better when they designed it. If it's their choice, is it still a wreck? Or, is it simply a matter of poor execution? I still haven't decided. Thoughts?

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

I can frost a presentable-at-a-potluck or family gathering cake. I'm fairly confident I would have come a WHOLE LOT CLOSER to that gold and white cake than the "baker" did. Oh my. These make the cakes I made when I was a kid look like masterpieces....

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisaCat

Cake Number Three Looks Like A Toilet.

(I wonder will this one get through???)

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Well, I guess it's a good thing the wrecks are already...uh...ready.
Can we imagine proofreaders for wreckorators? (I know, I KNOW!! "Put down the piping bag, and back away fron the cake. Slowly! And keep your eyes on my face. Don't even think about smirking; you're already looking at 5 to 10 for impersonating a professional...")=^-.-^=

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Just no words...but then...Jensen Ackles was there in the end and all was right with the world again.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSophia W

Fantastic! Perfect GIFs!

PS More Supernatural references please and thank you...

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStLMetroMom

Ford_Prefect, I hope the bride gave that bakery a huge positive review on Yelp or their website or Facebook page. That's what a quality baker should do!

Ahem... these three losers above deserve a small claims court suit or an appearance on Judge Judy. Insanity!

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjune7

We stopped by the country club on the day of our wedding to make sure all the decorations and flowers had arrived. At that moment a car from the very expensive bakery arrived. The passenger was holding the cake in his lap. When they opened the door there was a giant crack down it. I blanched of course. They spent two hours on it behind closed doors. I don't know what they did, but by the time the reception started the cake was perfect.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJerry

I am not a professional, or even an amateur baker and I could produce more attractive and less embarrassing cakes than this. How does a professional baker hand over a cake like this and feel pride in their work? If I had to show up at a wedding and give this to a bride, I'd change my name and leave the country.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAli

Most of the wedding receptions we had at my venue, the bride and the cake decorator never saw each other on The Big Day. The bride was off at the ceremony site getting ready, and the cake lady would come to the reception venue to deliver the cake. All I did was unlock the door and let them have-at-it. Even the caterers usually didn't pay any attention, having enough on their plate to deal with.

On one occasion, the caterer did make a flying catch to stop the top layer from sliding off. She called the recently-departed cake lady and told her to get her a** back and fix it.

And on one occasion, a five-layer cake ended in three large piles on the table after a too-soft bottom layer collapsed. That time the bride and the baker did see each other, since the baker was the bride's sister (and a professional pastry chef). Fortunately, she had brought extra icing, deconstructed the cake, and made repairs. The dents were covered with fresh roses. It was actually rather pretty.

In general, the cakes that had the most problems traveled the longest distances to get here. Any kind of icing is dangerous in The South in the summer. Heat, humidity, vibrations from the engine, not good.

But none of the cakes even approach the level of Cake Wrecks.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

@Trista:

Funny story about a styrofoam cake.

When my aunt got married, she got a beautiful, non-wreck cake. As was tradition, they saved the top tier to cut on their first anniversary. That tier survived two moves, and was the first thing rescued when their freezer blew (a neighbor kindly took it over until they got their fridge repaired).

On their first anniversary, they made a nice dinner, lit the candles, opened a bottle of wine, and went to cut the cake...

It was styrofoam.

Apparently, the baker had told them to pick up their ACTUAL top tier after the wedding. They'd forgotten this, and a number change had ensured that the baker couldn't call them to ask what was up.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Cunningham

Wow..........Even I could be a wedding cake maker ............

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

$400??!?!

That wreckerator should be ashamed.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBeperk

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>