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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Letter Wrong And A Holler Short

When you get like 99% of it right, but all anyone can talk about is that ONE LITTLE MISTAKE:

Home bun!


Her name is Lacy:

Guess why she didn't go back to get it fixed.

Because she was LATE, that's why.
Sheesh, you people.


A true test of Dad's skills:


The best part of this next one? This was the counter display:

For someone who really doesn't like lemons.

(Is this like "Batter up?" Should we ask a couple Fluggers to weigh in?)

(And what's with the little hash marks on the right? Are the letters R and P demonstrating proper Puker technique?)


Alas, we must leave the great Puker Debate for now, because... IT'S TIME.

What time, you ask?


Awwwww yeeeeeah.

Right, one of you start wailing on the harpsichord, someone else roast up a bushel of sheep dongs, and the rest of us are gonna go get shot by a crossbow and/or die of plague.

("Man, this themed party suuuuucks.")


Thanks to Kathryn D., Lacy A., Judi S., Zanna F., & Ivy B. for going medieval on us.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (47)

Oh, dear. I didn't know Ang Thing was broken; poor guy.
And as for the party; Richard, The Lion Heart has died, so Nasty new King John is partying on. Get out those Lutes and Sacbutts, cuz the harpsichord has not been dreamed up yet.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Puking aside, at what event is a lemon-themed cookie cake appropriate?

That 1199 party caption is hilarious! Fortunately I learned from last week and waited until after CW to eat my breakfast M&Ms, so didn't choke and/or spit on my computer.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I really need to know how "Flugger" got on that wreck.

Did they have harpsichords in 1199? (Yes, I'm That Gal.)

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Puker Up could be very prophetic...

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

This has to be the funniest one this year.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Okay, so the sackbutt is Renaissance. Shall we substitute an Organistrum? I'm sure horny little King John would have appreciated that.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Jen, you made me laugh out loud at work again and now everyone thinks I'm nuts.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

For those who REALLY want to party like it's 1199, one word: Pennsic. (Alternately known as "Heatsick" or "Mudslick", depending on the weather in any given summer...).

You're welcome.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I had to make a purchase from Amazon and I'm happy to report that I remembered to come to Cake Wrecks first, and from here to Amazon using your link. I hope it helps. Ang little thing I can do to support you guys is worth it. Thanks, Jen and John, for another day of laughter.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBirdergirl

Yes, the 1199 cake would be perfect for an SCA gathering, but BADKarma said it much better.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJanna

I was fightin’ when I wrote this
Had to quash Phillip II of France
Got kinks up in my chainmail, can’t wait ‘til I can wear real pants
War is all around us, I wish I had a gun to shoot
I might as well be peaceful, go frolic as I play my lute

They say twelve hundred zero zero party over,
Oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1199

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Roast up a bushel of sheep dongs? That resulted in a coffee nasal rinse!

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mindy

@SuBee, you crack me up! Got kinks up in my chainmail...=D

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

No, they did not have harpsichords in the 12th-13th century, or even organs yet. Always some lute-like instrument is an option. Or singing.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMusecologist

Was rain predicted for New Years in 1199 or what are all those little things all over that cake? DON'T GO THERE, JEN!!! On the other hand, at least they got the apostrophe right.

I think it's a tiny butterfly on the Puker cake. Too bad I didn't have that one this weekend. My 10-year-old ran a little too hard in a 5K. Just 15' from the finish line she earned that cake. Yup, she was the puker.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJanet

I'm such a dork. I had to look it up. 1199 was the year Richard the Lionheart died, leaving the throne to Prince John. If only they had used hipster arrows instead of rain to decorate it.
Richard did in fact die from complications of a crossbow wound, so your caption was not only hilarious, but also educational. :D

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRixie

Does that lemon remind anyone else of a giant blob monster turning to look RIGHT AT YOU?

Also @SueBee, that was hilarious.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Ah! The Dark Ages were so much fun. Really cake-worthy. Oh wait- several ingredients for cake weren't discovered yet does a decorated oat patty sound? Now we're cereber"ling"! (And really, why a lemon-lime cake? What event is missing in my calendar? National Puker Liberation Day? Or is it Lirabating?)
Making new words is fun!

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

OMG that last one XD XD XD

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

OMG SuBee I so loved your medieval rewrite of 1999!! That was awesome! If there was a Like button I'd have used it. :D

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

LOL! That last one especially.

Not to mention it's raining up?


May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJen VG

For the people who aren't getting the last cake, it has Purple Rain and it's supposed to be a Prince reference which was party like it's 1999.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDusty

How Flugger got on the cake: S and F sound exactly the same on the phone. If you spell something out and use an S or F, it's always a really good idea to indicate which letter it is by saying "F as in Fish" or "S as in Sandwich". Just a guess, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's what happened.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

Thanks Dusty - I couldn't figure out why the party was getting rained out...

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Right on @Dusty! You took the explanation right out of my mouth! As your prize... Sheep Dongs! Yaaaaay!

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Puker up is a consequence of eating sheep dongs. So I hear.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Jayne


Might fine!
It's a rhyme
of the time.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I don't think Harpsichords were invented in 1199.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

This is a piece of music that was really performed in 1199, at Christmas in Notre Dame in Paris:
It's the first surviving example of four-part harmony. And it's also astonishing, not at all what you would expect.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

I sense an Epcot moment regarding this harpsichord thing . . .

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Puker? I don't even know 'er!

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

The lemon cake is not about puke but exhorting the cake recipient to pucker up. This means to purse the lips ready for kiss. The lemon will also help purse the lips if you suck, or lick, one.
Love the last cake!

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCaryl

Ah, 1199. Might be a tad early for harpsichords, but we can all do the Gregorian chant:
What do we want?
How do we want it to fall?
What don't we understand?
Anyone who doesn't do it is a flugger.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Less plague and more gangrene from our crossbow-inflicted wounds, but still...

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Perhaps the Wreckerator was dreaming when they wrote it, so we should forgive them if they go astray.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Thank you Tachybaptus, for the lovely Pérotin, Viderunt Omnes. Organum Quadruplum. c.1198 CE.
The instruments in Europe at that time would have been pipes, flutes and a few stringed instruments picked up on the Crusades from the much more refined Muslim culture.

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

@Tachybaptus - Thank you for that link! I actually quite enjoyed it. =-)

@SueBee - I can think of at least 11 people I *need* to share that song with. =-)

All of the cakes and comments made me laugh today. I'd love to party like it's 1199!

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Maybe because I'm a nerd or because I was never a Prince fan (even though I was born in the 80's and grew up in the 80's and 90's), but the first song that came to my mind for the last cake was Weird Al's parody - Amish Paradise! The line where he says, "But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine, Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699!" No, just me right? Yep, I'm weird! lol (And now I have that song stuck in my head!)

May 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Oh I am dying of laughter at that last cake. Why is it raining sideways? Or are those arrows? The wreckerators have boggled my mind lol.

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

1199 is a major union, at least in nyc. Maybe it is raining to represent the sadness of those who are excluded from the union. They are partying like they have the protection and benefits of collective bargaining!

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJess

I see no Prince reference's just acknowledging the meteorological law that it must ALWAYS rain on any Medieval Fair, no matter where it is held. Seriously, even in the dry interior of Australia. Medieval Fair=Rain. Just to drive home the irony of having spent weeks painstakingly making a floor-length velvet gown and hand-stitched shoes that can't keep out the mud... Celebrate the start of the Twelfth Century! Only another 650 years until umbrellas will be invented! Yeah!

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAA

I thought it said 1799. They had harpsichords then, right?

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Remove thyself from the area adjacent to that pastry, thou lazy flugger! The consumption of that delicacy is reserved for the party!

I can't keep from laughing every time I look at the "flugger" cake?- cookie?- thing.

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Funniest post ever! I'm still laughing!

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAD

Anyone else seeing a jaundiced turkey with wheels on that Puker cake? Or is it just me?

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

Sorry the plague ruined your 1199 party. Next time don't use a sick horse to transport the food, or at least scrape the purple dung off the cake! (Gagging over that idea in 2016? Be glad we know about germs.)

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFrosting First

I'm trying to imagine partying in the year 1199. Sacrificing a young maiden over the Mayan pyramids comes to mind.

May 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChris

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