And Now A Word From Princess Godzilla
April 25, 2016 HOW TO BE A PRINCESS
Cake Wrecks style
1) First things first: you'll need a wardrobe fit for royalty.
;)
Because even a straight jacket can be princessy when paired with the right skirt/circus tent.
2) Have your hair and makeup done professionally every day.
Don't be like Elsa that one time:
;)
(Girl needs to let her liquid eyeliner GO, am I right?)
3) Find an animal side kick
Friendly forest creatures are SO overdone, though. I recommend something a little more original:
;)
...like a boa constrictor.
4) Eyebrows UP! It helps instill a sense of wonder.
;)
Not to mention a sense of surprise and/or fear.
Which is why:
5) You can never, EVER, stop smiling:
;)
Cindy's foot is currently being gnawed on by angry peasant mice, but do you see her complaining?
NUH-UH.
But really, my dear minions, there is only one requirement to be a princess:
Be true to yourself, and feel pretty doing it.
;)
Princess Godzilla demands it.
Thanks to Anony M., KM, Noelle T., Kathy C., Sydney C., & Andrea L. for making her daughter the best princess cake OF ALL TIME. Somebody give Princess Godzilla her own movie, product line, and action figures, STAT!
*****
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Reader Comments (81)
I think on #3 that is supposed to be a frog?
The climax today, caught by surprise as I was while scrolling down, was PERfect! Love that Godzilla cake. L-O-V-E it!!
Princess Godzilla is now the name of my garage band -- or a really great G-rated expletive! Incidentally, what's with the pit stains on that fairy godmother? Sheesh!
Someone really needs to do a meds check on Cinderella. if that's not the face of someone on the verge of going over the edge, I don't know what would be. Maybe throw in a skin screening, just to be sure.
Godzilla Girl is my new hero. That's someone who knows what she wants and how to get it!
Well, Elsa's eyes look like fish. Especially the one on our right. Princess Godzilla is the best though.
There once was a girl named Camilla,
Who wanted to live in a villa
So she got a prince,
But he started to wince,
When she started to look like Godzilla.
Is it awful that I really love that last CinderZilla cake? Because I totally want to do that now, just for fun.
Unbeknownst to Mario and Luigi, Princess Peach allowed herself to get "captured" so she could discretely give Bowser fashion advice and moral support. It's nice to see Bowser finally happy!
Princess Godzilla with a sweetheart neckline (er, or chestline?)--absolute awesomeness! That cake is fabulous!! Cindy is....very unappetizing.....
A girl who is lovely and charming
Has no need for a man who loves farming
With a prince or a lord
She will never be bored
And I'm sure he will find her disarming
Hooray! Maddison is having her Birt Hda! BYOSJ (Bring your own straight jacket.)
I bet it will be unanimous: Princess Godzilla RULES!! ( The others, not so much. And, I have to ask, why is the first one armless? Why?)
Royal life really can be a strain
Filled with subjects who balk and complain
Cindy wasn't prepared
Wish that she had been spared
And now she's completely insane
Princess Godzilla wins the internet.
I want a Godzilla Princess cake! That is awesomeness on a plate right there.
Some days it was true Elsa felt
Quite displeased with the hand she'd been dealt
So she had a brainstorm
And she went some place warm
Now her face is beginning to melt
SuBee, your poems are funny
So witty with rhyming, and punny.
Too bad that it takes
Such terrible cakes
To make me laugh til my eyes are runny.
Godmother of fairy tale fame
Knew she had to be upping her game
So she got her a reptile
To suit her new lifestyle
Now she's boss of the fairy domain
Throw rocks at me… but I really like the Princesse Godzilla cake.
I NEED that Godzilla Princess cake! You hear me? Not want. NEED
Love, love, love the Godzilla cake.
Elsa needs to let go of the eyeliner, and Cindy needs to put down the Botox already. Yikes!
Maybe the baker meant to evoke Bridezilla.
Cin'drella and Ariel saw
Many things they had not seen before
Thought they'd live with great riches
But their men pulled some switches
Seems they're both royals of Arkansas
Did anybody look to see what might have made those Princess cookies so alarmed? I mean they are all looking to the same area.
OMG - that's my Godzilla cake! I'm so excited! I sculpted her from fondant. In the back I had her atomic spikes ripping through the dress fabric. What does she want? Gender equality, of course!
In a world where children play with their dolls and action figures, where unknowing mothers gather toys at night in storage bins, unspeakable things happen. (Well, unspeakable to small tots, but grownups know!) And deep within the storage bins, Barbie gives birth to (duh, duh, DUH!) . . . Prrincess Godzilla!
Coming in December to a theater near you. This film is not yet rated.
That Godzilla cake is the best. THE. BEST.
Andrea, ten internets for you. :D
I WANT A PRINCESS GODZILLA CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!
The sheer AWESOME of that cake makes me want to run to FYE, buy a Kaiju collectible, and make myself a Princess Kaiju cake for my upcoming 4(hrumph)th Birthday!
SuBee's boss just called. Could she please return to work?
Well, I'll be a monkey's fairy gawdmother! The little lady (Cinderzilla, there, in the last photo) has gone and done it good, this time! Took half of a perfectly good watermelon (seedless, too), turned it inside-out, and made herself a ball gown worthy of ...the House of Channel No.5. (It's cable). But's a knock-off, of course. The dress was on sale because the bakery couldn't find Milady's crown. (Crown Royal, and she won't greet her public without a shot or two. For courage. ..yeah, that's it.) =^-.-^=
Hmmm, I totally know a bridezilla who deserves the Princess Godzilla cake..
That boa constrictor looks more like a green poo constrictor.
@drgs4vr-Thank you. You wanna be my partner?
@Colin M. - I AM the boss ;) !
#3 -- What is the dark blue under her armpits supposed to be. It looks like prodigious sweating.
And I LOVE the Godzilla cake. That is not a wreck -- that is the equivalent of cosplay for cake decorators. Love it.
The first one makes me think of Ursula from The Little Mermaid. Looks like she's got tentacles under there.
I want, no need a godzilla princess cake! That is brilliant!!!!
When Princess Godzilla has perkier boobs than you do . . .
LOVE the Godzilla princess cake!
I'm curious about #3: Why does the princess have purple arm-pit hair? Or, am I the only one who sees it? Also, the green snake/frog/poo pile, wow!
Andrea- Kudos to you for the BEST Princess Godzilla cake ever to grace the pages of Cake Wrecks!!
SueBee- Kudos to you for the Puniest poems I've had the pleasure to read in a long time!
On #3 - what ARE those purple things?? Hairy armpits? Pit stains? Someone who doesn't know where breasts are supposed to be anatomically on the body?!
I would take Princess Godzilla cake any day over Princess Frontbutt (first cake).
Godzilla: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty..."
Andrea, that Godzilla cake is a marvel! It should have been in Sunday Sweets, not a wreck post.
@andrea - You rock! I love Princess Godzilla. Of course she's not really a wreck, she's so well done. Do you have a link to other pictures of her? I'd love to see the back view.
That Princess Godzilla cake is awesome. But why is it here instead of on Sunday Sweets? :)
Ermagerd! Cinderzilla is amazing. I have 8 months until my next birthday to find someone to make this for me. I need it. I want it. Thank you for bringing this into my life.
Is princess boa constrictor's name Avarice? Because.... Uhhhhh. (Averie
?)
Cake #3: WORST. FLOP SWEAT. EVAR!
Andrea deserves a gold crown
Her talent is of great renown
That beautiful face
Sweet satin and lace
Godzilla looks great in her gown