A Total Bust
April 11, 2016 (Warning: Vague naughtiness ahead. Also googly eyes.)
Last week Sue Moseley had her Instagram account disabled for posting this cake:
;)
Why?
Well, according to Instagram:
"We disable accounts that post content that is sexually suggestive or contains nudity."
Translation? They thought her cake was boobs.
Now, I could maybe understand if Sue's cake looked like this:
;)
Or this:
;)
Or even this:
;)
And I'd definitely understand if her cake looked like this:
;)
Which, as you can see from John's oh-so-helpful censoring job*, totally looks like a bug-eyed Oompa Loompa at the beach.
(Why yes, I DID only include this one to share that visual. YOU'RE WELCOME.)
Of course we here at Cake Wrecks are no strangers to being banned from social networks for posting "suggestive" cakes, so allow me to offer the following advice:
Anything vaguely nipplish or boobish will get you banned because AMERICA, and we don't need that kind of obscene obscenity on our interwebz, so just steer clear.
....unless of course it's man boobs.
;)
Those are cool.
SO BRING ON THE MAN BEWBS!
;)
Or, you know, don't.
;)
Seriously, you can stop now.
AAAAAAND WE'RE DONE.
Thanks to Jenn A., Ambular B., Sarah M., Krista M., Jessica L., Ashley B., Lisa C., & Jen S., who is not happy to see us, and after that, who could blame her?
*Note from john: I'm just glad I was able to save you all from seeing obscene obscenity. You're welcome.
*****
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Reader Comments (41)
I think the censored Oompa Loompa looks like the cute red hairy monster from the Bugs Bunny cartoons, which NEVER needed to be censored.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/13/2c/a1/132ca1ebb917d10a98cb48f8009794a4.jpg
O...m...g cake should be enticing, not revolting
ALSO, Lindsay's mom and dad should get some sort of Parents of the Year Award AND
I feel the last cake illustrates the fact that every man would like to believe his penis should be presented to the world encased in a Faberge Egg which can be slowly opened as Tchaikovsky plays in the background gradually reaching a crescendo as the beautifully adorned receptacle finally displays the gift hidden within. And frilly man-panties.
Is it just me, or does cake #7 look like the penis is upside-down??
Oh my lord, SuBee. YOU are cleaning up this mess on my monitor! (I accept no blame for drinking coffee while reading this morning,even though it's Cake Wrecks and I should know better.)
Not only does Cake Wrecks provides humor, it also keeps us abreast of today's issues....
Bwah! @SuBee beat me to it on the man panties comment, and your Faberge egg comment made me laugh even harder! I think they resemble man panties because the yellow "lace" is around the leg holes too, rather than framing the, er...codpiece area.
@SuBee: Your post about the egg is particularly perceptive today: Mr. Faberge's first name was Peter....
The "eyes" have it!
Is Lindsay going to get a new car for her birthday? 'Cause that looks like a set of car keys in the white briefs.
As an almost 50 year old, I am traumatized by the man bewbs cakes (specifically, the "packages" that accompany)
Yeah, gee thanks, SuBee! Now I'm being assailed by various Tchaikovsky ear-worms and mental images of revolving Fabergé eggs revealing --- no! --- NOOOOOOoooo!!!! Get me some brain bleach!!!!
Seriously, no snarky comments about the Happy 16th Lindsey cake, John and/or Jen? (Clearly that baker was dicking around.) Cause I'm pretty sure most people weren't concerned about the man boobs.
@SuBee...GOSSIMER! that's the red hairy"innnnteresting monsters" name in the Bugs Bunny cartoon. Though it was never mentioned. I know, because that's my favorite episode, I could voice it word for word (I have no life) AND I have the Hallmark Christmas ornament of him with bugs bunny on his head, it's one of my faves on my tree. The Ornament designer shares the name with us. "Such an innnntersting monster needs an innnnteresting hairdo. Bobby Pins please". I have a Looney Tunes life! Thank you SuBee, I thought it looked like him too!
Hubby walks in an looks over my shoulder and asks "Is that supposed to be 'beefcake' on you cake site?" Oh the things we get banned for!!!!
I like the way the Oompa Loompa cake was made with the Wilton "Hunky Guy" pan - I think that's what it was called anyway. It does look like an orange dude with boobs! Happy Birthday Michael/Michelle!
I think Lindsey's cake looks a bit happy to see her. O-o
That "oompa loompa" cake, is that from an actual cake mold??
Now I have the urge to google "erotic cake molds" -- against my better judgement. Thanks Cake Wrecks! :)
instagram was really reaching, that simnel cake isn't even vaguely erotic.
..then again neither are any of the rest
SuBee the correct term is "Manties" and while I wish I were kidding - I am not. Google at your own peril.
Nope... Can't unsee any of these...
The voices say they're triggered again.
Dammit.
@ Subee: LOL on the imagery in my head, now! Love it--and you know what? I "heard" music, too....but what I remembered was the Bugs Bunny/ Elmer Fudd sweeping, epic opera presentation....YOU know: "Kill the wabbit---Kill the WAABBIT!" Yes, they made quite a pair...(*winkwink* @ mel's eggcellent funny!)=^~.~^=
John! you stopped censoring (enhancing/moderating/protecting US- your gentle readers) TOO SOON!
I also lurve, just lurve, Gossimer and his connies
What's HILARIOUS is that the banned cake is quite clearly Simnel cake; a traditional cake eaten on Easter Sunday!
I'm so glad that I'm not the only person who raised an eyebrow at Lindsey's cake. And for a 16th birthday? *clutches pearls*
Well, given that my girlfriend once had her Photobucket account suspended because she posted pictures of our new ratty babies sitting on a blanket, and apparently they looked like penises (penii?) poking out, I believe it completely.
What I don't believe, even after all these years of following Cake Wrecks, is that anyone could bring themselves to put man-cake-nipple in their mouth, particularly the ones on the 'Happy 16th Lindsey' cake o_o ... clearly I never learn.
So, we haven't commented on the cake underneath the orange one yet. I think its nipples and bellybutton consist of some sort of fungus. It also looks more like a woman than a man, and I think what is supposed to pass for abs looks like an animal has scratched the sides of the cake.
And what's with the thigh-nip on that last one? John (thoJ) did stop censoring too soon! don't know what we would have thought a googly eye in that spot would be hiding though...
Does anyone know where the brain bleach is? Is it my imagination or do bakers really not know what the human anatomy looks like? Warning - if anyone is dating, married to, shacking up or mating with any "man" that looks like these things (I can't call them cakes) you need to rethink your options.
EEEWWWW! Some of those cakes look like the "Situation!"
@SuBee, that was epic. I'm laughing so hard people are staring.
So, let me get this straight - in Murca, ladies' boobs look like toasted marshmallows. Is this a tanning thing?
And toasted-marshmallow human she-boobs on a cake are not okay, BUT lady bear camel toes are just fine?
And I thought only your football code was nuts...
Oh, yeah, looking at that second-last cake, Tarzan was first published in 1912, which makes him 104 - this cake is apparently an exact replica of him as he is today. Maybe time to trade the zebra hide loincloth for a snuggie.
Oh thank you John. You have saved my poor mind from the obscene horrors that make these cakes so scary lol. Oh man my imagination scares me enough and now the cakes.. I need therapy lol.
@ SuBee -
OMG! PERFECT I can't stop laughing! Hilarious!
MaryO1230
Can we talk about how gross it is to make what amounts to a wang cake for a 16 year old? EW.
John (thoj), you are our hero.
And once again, SuBee wins the Internet.
And thank you, John. As a human being (complete with nipples!) I know my mind would never be the same after seeing nips. You have the thanks of a grateful nation.
Gossamer! Oh, Gossamer! Put your sneakers on! Find the Instagram censor, and dispatch him immediately!
Censored toasted marshmallows make me very angry. Very angry indeed! Mm.
Jen, I cannot even count the loud cackles that your posts prompted ... some kind of fabulously funny stuff (scary-ugly, but fabulously funny).
@ SuBee -- May I borrow your brain for just a little while--I could sure use some creativity. That was amazing!
*Cough Cough*
Bewbs, lol.