The Bananas Are Totally Helping: Women Weirdly Wearing Cake
February 8, 2016 Since I started this blog I've seen my share of cakes crammed onto real live ladies. Here's a croquembouche dress:
;)
(Ballsy.)
Here's a cupcake skirt:
;)
(I'd eat that.)
And here's an edible wedding dress guaranteed to make you never want an edible wedding dress:
;)
[slowly backing away in horror]
But all of that pales in comparison to whatever the heck is happening in this photo:
;)
0.o
Now, I know there's a lot of crazy to take in up there, but keep your eyes on the bananas.
See them?
Good.
Now you can scroll down:
;)
Ta-daaaa!
Ok, so, a few things:
1) There are now bananas artfully draped on the womens' shoulders. I bet you never thought someone could artfully drape a banana. Or that someone would consider a conjoined torso cake with real live ladies sticking out of either end an appetizing idea. BUT THERE THEY BOTH ARE.
2) The candles. Why? Is this a birthday party?
3) WAIT. Is it Beetlejuice's birthday? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN... well, at least the stripey parts.
4) Now I want shrimp cocktail.
5) You Beetlejuice fans got that one. You're welcome.
Thanks to Amy, Evelyn D., Jessica S., & Jemma S. for sending in those pics with absolutely no explanation. I mean, it's just more fun to imagine all the many, MANY reasons why this is a thing that happened.
[thinking]
I'll, uh, come up with one eventually, I'm sure.
*****
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Reader Comments (53)
Re: last wreck:
Is it wrong that I'm more upset about the cake boobs not matching up with the real lady boobs? Because this MIGHT have gotten a 'pass' from me if it was executed flawlessly.
Deeeeeeyyyyyyyyy-oh my sweet lord and all that is holy. Maybe this was a Beetle JUICE (get it?)/Rocky Horror Picture Show mash-up party.
I can't look away!
Thoughts:
* Are you gonna eat that cake or wear it?
* I don't eat cake. It goes straight onto my thighs.
* Do these dresses give new meaning to the term; Cake Walk?
* Dress making is a piece of cake.
* Do the instructions say "Dry clean only"?
Several weeks ago, some friends and I were discussing buffets. I believe, in presenting my argument against buffets, I may have come off as a bit of a jerk. I've been thinking back on this discussion with shame and self-loathing. I've found that I've been unable to look my friends in the eyes since that dreadful night.
But now, due to the fruitcake ladies, I can hold my head high, face my friends and take pride in my belief that buffets can only lead to no-good. (Unless there's shrimp. Day Oh!) Thank you.
What are those spiky things down the cake women are joined?
The last one reminds me of Rocky Horror....
Those are not ladies under the bananas.... Been to San Francisco's South of Market lately?
That 2nd picture immediately made me think of the gleeful declaration, "You look like a talking cupcake!!!" (Many geek points if you get this reference.)
I wonder if that last one has mint frosting.
It's a
Six foot
Seven foot
Eight foot
BRUNCH!
Daylight come and me wanna go home, yeah.
Beetlejuice would totally approve of that last cake. And Lydia would be the one to order it for him. But cartoon Lydia, not movie Lydia, because they weren't friends in the movie.
1. Correction: What are those spiky things down where the cake women are joined?
2, @Bill C.- If those "ladies" want to dress up as ladies, they're ladies no matter how many bananas surround them.
Yeah...and I'm more than willing to bet those are real live "ladies" under that...whatever it is...
That edible wedding cake looks nothing less than awesome!
Great, now I have Calypso stuck in my head.
Maybe somebody watched Beetlejuice back to back with that episode of ST:TNG, went to sleep and had a nightmare, woke up and thought, that would make a great cake! :O
I would like to point out.. that last cake looks more like the ladies from James and the giant peach, more than it does beetle juice... anyone else notice that? Also I'm curious how one would make an edible dress... TO THE INTERNET!
It's Shirley for the win! Straight to my thighs, indeed....
Yeah, those aren't ladies.
I have no idea why that would be a thing people would be interested in, but whatever.
The other wearable dresses? No. Just no. The frosting on the inside of her arms on 3rd one grosses me out.
Wow. Those are the most uncomfortable looking things to wear that I've ever seen! Except, whatever is underneath has to be even worse.
(Those "ladies" look entirely too happy to be buried under that mess.)
Am I the only warped person to have a disgusting visual of a groom removing the garter?
The last one reminds me of the Tom Petty "Don't come around here no more" video where Alice is cake and they eat her. Alice is wearing her traditional blue dress, but the room is all black and white.
Where I come from, when dressed like this (though usually in something made of fabric), they do indeed call themselves ladies.
Vida Boheme: Carol Ann, if we're going to be friends, there really is something I should tell you...
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple?
Vida Boheme: What?
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple. Women don't have Adam's Apples, only men have Adam's Apples. The first night that you came to town I noticed that you had yourself an Adam's Apple.
Vida Boheme: Then, then you know?
Carol Ann: I know, that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend who just happens to have an Adam's Apple.
You know what that last bit of weirdness reminded me of? Tom Petty's video for "You Don't Come Around Here No More," only with one (well, two) of his stripy flamingo-playing groupies on the table instead of Alice.
Have you guys seen that video? It feels very Cake Wrecks.
The last cake reminds me of the Tom Petty video for "Don't Come Around Here No More."
That is the one where he is the Mad Hatter and Alice turns into a giant sheet cake and they are slicing her up. Ah, the 80s!
Okay, that last one? Yeah, those ladies are NOT under the cake/whatever. They are UNDER the table. Just look at the position of the one closest to the camera, looking back. You can tell that her upper body/shoulders are above the table, and the rest is probably sitting in a chair under the table, while the 'cake' appears to be their bodies. If she's not under the table? Then her boobs are where her lap should be and she doesn't look that old, LOL. No matter what though, it's still unappetizing. Maybe that's the point? No cake for you!
just gonna say - I have no words
The 1930s dancer and singer Josephine Baker used to wear a skirt made of bananas. In fact that was all she did wear when she did her act. She looked good in them. But she would have looked good in anything.
That last one... Maybe a "wrap party" cake for American Horror Story?
So, wow, that last one. Is it a birthday or an allusion to venereal disease?
The last one reminds me very much of the Tom Petty video, Don't Come Around Here No More.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JvF9vpqx8
Right around the 4 minute mark.
Adding to Shirley's
-Will this dress make me look fat...
Are those.... crotch spikes? I thought they might be fruit spikes (to keep the fruit *ahem* upright) for the bananas/grapes/oranges but the fruit never made it that far. Perhaps they were concerned that drunk guests might forget themselves and we'd have an American Pie moment but with cake. I mean, that IS cake under there, right?
It reminds me of the Alice in Wonderland-themed video for Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More." Anyone remember that from MTV?
I'm not sure gobbing an ungodly amount of frosting on a hoop skirt makes it either edible or a wedding dress.... Legend has it this woman went to a tanning salon and all that frosting melted and created the Great Frosting Flood of '15....
...I'm oddly fascinated by the Beetlejuice cake.... and can't help but wonder if it ended in a theatrical performance of someone stabbing it viciously until cake spattered all over the guests. Let's hope it didn't have raspberry filling.
I'm still trying to understand what happened to the bride and her boobs between the picture on the left and the one on the right. Was left-bride photoshopped to defy gravity?
Wow. Those are... um... wow.
@Mary Jayne - Perfect!
I will now back slowly away from these images and go back to the cream puffs I'm making because it's Cream Puff Day (Bolludagur) in Iceland today... not that I'm in Iceland, mind you, but I never let location spoil a good baking holiday.
I will not, however, be wearing my cream puffs as a skirt. =-)
The women remind me of souixsie souix and the banshees.
I'm strangely intrigued by this post.
That last one reminds me of Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More" video
Reminds me of the Tom Petty video for Don't Come Around Here No More.
Wow, glad to see I'm not the only one reminded of that Tom Petty video. Creepy as anything. This cake . . . I don't know.
@Gristle McNerd
Cellular Peptide Cake with Mint Frosting. You just had to remind me of that episode of absolute weirdness!
I remember this from an old episode of "CSI." If they are to be believed, eating food off a live woman is some sort of fetish.
Ewwwww. . .
That last cake ....there is no "Dana only Zuul", actually there are two Zuuls in a cake.
As soon as this cake hit the optic nerve the only thought was to wonder if the cake itself is a cellular peptide cake, and if the frosting is mint...
So...anyone else reminded of a Tom Petty video?
It's the internet, so I'm comfortable saying this: I would totally order that last "cake." Maybe for a milestone birthay, or a home from rehab party. The people I don't like get the piece by the armpits.
Well this definitely beats Super Bowel Monday by a long shot lmao. Holy smokes this makes me laugh especially the edible wedding dress..back away from the bride and quickly!
It is a cellular peptide cake...with mint frosting!
This is one of the weirdest cake wreckers I've EVER seen and I've followed the blog "since the beginning!"
Maybe someone else posted this statement "Does this cake make me look fat?"
I agree w/the poster who asked about Tom Petty. I IMMEDIATELY saw the connection.... "... don't come around here no more..........HEY! ...."