Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Turkey Cakes
November 21, 2016 Let's face it, bakers: turkeys look silly.
Real turkeys, I mean.
;)
SO SILLY.
So in that spirit, why NOT make your turkey cakes look like a snake on a Mexican poncho?
;)
Or a volcano with a chicken beak?
;)
Or a ruffled... er...
;)
[long pause]
[gratuitous side-eye]
...decorative... pillow.
Yeeeah.
I mean, on the one hand, bakers, this is utterly ridiculous. Have you seen a real turkey's head? It's not even brown.
But on the other hand, when else do you get to illustrate an angry little poop being attacked by technicolor leeches?
;)
Never, that's when.
So I say... [cranks up America the Beautiful]... GO FOR IT, bakers.
Embrace the ridiculous!
Stretch those legs!
;)
Spread-eagle that turkey!
;)
Anything goes!!
;)
[record screeches to a halt]
Except this.
THIS IS A NO-GO, BAKERS.
Thanks to Heather M., Stieg, Laura B., Sandy F., Dave & Alison, DeLoris N., & Morgan R. for making us all do a triple-take. (Still pretty sure those ARE supposed to be turkeys, though.)
*****
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Reader Comments (28)
Considering the actual color of a turkey's head, and the erm shape that most bakers usually tend towards when making it out of a blob of frosting, I'm kind of glad they are poo colored. (Instead of you know, flesh colored). Although the horrified gasps, and the affronted huffs in the bakery aisle might be worth it, if I could be an un-involved watcher from the wings.
And this is why we eat pie
We are living in a post-turkey America.
When cooking fowl (or in the case of these cakes, foul) the term is not "spread-eagle", it's spatchcock. Not sure if that's more, or less, inappropriate.... :)
The wreckorators never fail to amaze me with their feathered poo-wangs.
The eternal question: have these folks ever SEEN a turkey?
You know, you posed an interesting question: Have they ever seen a turkey's head? In all actuality, they probably haven't, nor have most of their customers. The vast majority of these cakes are made in urban areas, where the raising of turkeys is no longer practiced (or, in many cases, even legal). So all they've seen, in a lot of cases, is the standard turkey cakes or their kids' turkey drawings from school. With the head, you know...brown.
Not saying this is an excuse, but possibly an explanation. (And no, the two things are NOT interchangeable--just because you know how it happened doesn't mean it should've).
Of course most bakers have never seen a live turkey. I've never seen a live turkey either, but I've seen pictures. And we KNOW what bakers do with pictures... Can you imagine what a baker would do with the picture Jen started this post with? It would probably end up looking like Captain America in an oversized brown tutu.
I dare say that a turkey is difficult to draw with pencil or pen, even for a talented artist. Doing so with an icing bag by a mediocre decorator is impossible. However, the alternative to the turkey is the cornucopia, an equally difficult artistic endeavor, as we have seen in previous CW posts. Perhaps we should promote the use of leaves cut from fondant with cookie cutters as the preferred decoration for Thanksgiving sweets.
I admit I like the volcano one - he at least comes closer than most. I wouldn't want to be at the home of the kiddies who at that though - sugar rush galore.
(Please note my next comment is observation only, and based on historical info.)
The last one Many won't get given they've edited old cartoons to be PC to today's society... but I do. Suffice to say I won't be surprised if folks called them out on the turkeys looking like they're in blackface. Give me poo head turkeys anyway, they're at least trying to make it look like the Fowl instead of committing a foul.
The last photo - are those octopuses(?)...octopi(?)...um...SQUID wearing Indian headdresses?
Sara, I think you're correct. These are City Folks, and they have some strange ideas.
Nothing to do with cakes, other than the "poo factor", but I once had an inspector tell me we shouldn't allow the water from our pond to flow into the stream below our field. "Your fish have 'gone' in that water and you don't want to let that get in the stream."
We walked over to said stream, and I asked him where he thought the fish who lived in there went. Total shock! Obviously he'd never considered that. I just had visions of a whale crawling onto the beach to do its business so as not to foul the ocean.
Cathy... I REALLY want to see Captain America in an over-sized brown tutu now...
I think that tom turkey looks quite regal and not at all horrible, which I cannot say for the cakes that follow.
If you do not care for the tom, here is the turkey hen: https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8396/8675278985_d8ed31a600_z.jpg
Thanks, Olga! I'm going to see how many times I can use the work 'spatchcock' in a sentence at Thanksgiving Dinner.
I'm kind of fond of Mt. Turcano there. =-)
Fun fact: you can see wild turkeys in the Pittsburgh area, roaming in broad daylight. Not right downtown, but definitely in the 'burbs where my in-laws live.
Of course, wild turkeys don't resemble the domestic bird pictured here. Wreckers who wanted to make a facsimile would do better starting with a football shape than a circle.
I agree with Tricia L- let's just leaf it alone!
:D I'm with Bluebonnet. I assumed those last ones were octopi or squid of some sort. I could eat that. :D
Love the Angry Poop attacked by Technicolor Leeches. He's furious at this Wreck.
Poncho Snake is just fascinating, but the icing drama award goes to the Volcano-turkey. My eyes!
I really thought the first one was a snake with butterfly wings :(
The volcano with the chicken head isn't all that bad, comparatively. At least the piping is consistent... I'm going to look for turkey wrecks at the grocery store tomorrow!
Did you know that when Tom turkeys are looking for some action, their heads turn blue...BRIGHT BLUE!
I live in the country, we have flocks of them. They're worse than pigeons...And try explainin that blue-head thing to a 6yr old! New meaning to the "birds & bees"! Now my kids always comment...oh look mom, they're looking for girlfriends! Bah-hahahaha!
ZOMG IT'S POO WANG TURKEY SEASON!!!!!1!!one!!1!
Hey, if we can have a Godzilla princess cake, why not Captain America in a tutu?
I showed these pictures to my 4 year old. Her response was "Those don't look like turkeys! These people need lessons!"
Turkeys aren't "silly" looking. A tom turkey in full display like that picture are majestic and very handsome.
The one with legs made me laugh so hard.It was like the mutant lovechild of a turd and Ponyo sat on a pile of balloons.
After all the poo-wangs, it's about time we had some poo-hoo-has for balance.