5 Resolutions Anyone Can Keep. BALLS.
January 4, 2016 How are those New Year's resolutions coming, minions? Did you already ditch the ol' "get up earlier, work out, and eat better" thing? SO WITH YOU.
Really, we should just pick easier goals... and then reward ourselves. With cake. For picking goals.
Because baby steps.
Here, I'll kick us off:
In 2016 I Resolve To:
- Be more compassionate.
;)
But I'm still not giving this cake back.
- Volunteer for a worthy cause every month.
;)
I promise at least John will be "awear".
- Spend more time with the ones I love.
;)
Cider beer, if you please, John.
- Communicate exactly what *I* want from a relationship.
;)
But better make it chocolate.
And finally, the no-brainer:
- Start ending every sentence with an exasperated "BALLS."
;)
Like most of this blog, that one makes more sense after a few cider beers.
Thanks to Matthew S., Kristin E., Pate C., Alyson A., & Jackie for resolving those issues for us. BALLS.
*****
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Reader Comments (24)
My New Year's resolution was to be less judgemental. I lasted less than a second after turning on the TV to watch the ball drop. ("Look at all of those idiots," is what I think I said.) So, I think I'll try to volunteer for a worthy cause. I'm sure there are some losers out there that can use my help.
Apparently, whenever I read 'balls' in all capital letters, I can only read it in Bobby Singer's voice.
So sad about "Just a Cake" because the border is lovely and SO uniform. The borders on the rest of the cakes, not so much.
Hmm, how old is beer? About 7,000?
I really really need to know the back stories on these cakes....
I'm with you @SuBee. At least mine lasted until 8 p.m. when I watched Worst Cooks In America. You come to the show knowing you are going to have to make your signature dish, and you don't even practice making the RICE? There are instructions on the back of the package, just follow them and practice until you know how to boil rice. I need some cake. BALLS.
I can tell I have been spending too much time reading the writings of elementary students when I immediately assume that the BALLS cake was probably the result of someone mishearing the word Boss over the phone. And there is never a wrong time to give someone Just a Cake.
Please, what is 'cider beer'? Here in Britain we have cider, which is always alcoholic. I think the word cider in America means non-alcoholic apple juice, and that alcoholic cider is called hard cider. But I have never heard of cider beer and can't find a reference to it on the web.
[Editor's note- Jen doesn't really drink very much so she doesn't tend to know what stuff is called. It's adorable. We're just lucky she didn't call it "that cider beer fizzy drink that I had that one time at Epcot." -john (the drinker of drinks with only the most colorful of umbrellas)]
I do the same thing, Trista! "Oh BALLS!"
I thought Dr. Horrible had the monopoly on that exclamation.
I'm in camp Bobby Singer too! I was expecting some hellaciously botched Supernatural cakes to inspire our New Year's resolve. Great fun just the same.
What Trista said! Can you even imagine a cake decorator Bobby?? 'No you don't WRITE underneath, you write UNDERNEATH. Idjits.'
I think Jackie was responsible for her team losing the bowling championship. I don't blame them for considering her dead to them.
@Tachybaptus - in the U.S.
Apple Juice is filtered. It is golden colored and clear.
Apple Cider is apple juice that hasn't been filtered. It is brown and you can't see through it.
Hard Cider contains alcohol.
What SuBee said.
And I would love "Just a Cake". It is so pretty.
I'm sure Jen also refers to "that pineapple foamy thing we get at Disney World" too. I see so many requests for the recipe. Apparently no one has ever heard of Google.
Thanks, Jane. For the record, in Britain any unfermented apple juice, filtered or cloudy, is just called apple juice. Cider can be clear or cloudy, and ranges in strength from 4% alcohol to a daunting 12%. 'Scrumpy' is rough unfiltered country cider, usually quite strong. There is also 'white cider', aka 'tramp juice', largely synthetic, colourless, strong, and drunk from 3 litre plastic bottles by down-and-outs as the cheapest way of forgetting the world.
Beer PLEASE. Vast quantities. ( My firstborn was a genuine Conehead) These cakes make me sad. Beer- cider, pumpkin, lager, IPA-.anything but light!-makes me happy.
So I'm the only one who hear "BALLS" in Geoff Peterson's voice?
Was anyone else doing a double-take because "you're" was used properly (even if sloppily)?
After reading the comments, I'd like to see some Supernatural-themed cakes. Maybe some guest commentary from our boys?
Yep definitely heard balls in Bobby Singer's voice lol. Got Supernatural on the brain. That just a cake one though is quite pretty. And I would fear period awearness week lol.
My resolution is to drop more F-bombs with less shame.
Except around my mother.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who 'heard' Bobby Singer read that last one. I look forward to the episode where there's a bakery being used by some of Crowley's minions for nefarious purposes, and the only way to contain the demons is to draw devils' traps in buttercream. "Wow - demons can get diabetes; who knew?"
Do all the punctuation marks get their own awareness day now? And can I be in charge of confusing people by fundraising for Colon Awareness Day at the same time as Colon Cancer Awareness Week? We can use the money raised to reduce stress-related illnesses in English teachers. I anticipate needing to employ a lot of proofreaders. We could include spellchecking cakes as a side service for bakeries. For a small fee. Payments in frosting not accepted.
@SuBee: I am rolling on the floor at your comment about the "losers"!!!