Wax Poetic, Wax Off
August 18, 2015 Because bad poems and bad cakes go together like two things that go together and also rhyme.
Long like the trombone
are a giraffe's neck bones
7 bones
Bony bones
But Phil only had one bone.
;)
Sucks to be you, Phil.
*******
There once was a baker called Smit
Whose spelling was never a hit
From what I have heard
He botched ev'ry word
Except one: that guy knew his...
;)
...stuff.
****
Elsa didn't know
Until blood started flowing
What she'd created
;)
****
DO NOT
stand
in
cake
case
[whispering] Bakeryyyyy
;)
****
Once in a season, very near Fall
From deep in the forest, trees shady and tall
Comes something peculiar, and so seldom seen
Like a leprechaun's gold, or a unicorn's spleen
Look quickly, my brethren, for with any luck
You'll be graced with the majesty of Weenie Buck
;)
*snapsnapsnap*
Thanks to Keelan M., Julia C., Jess K., Kia H., & Kristy D. for helping us channel our inner Charlie McKenzie. ("WOMAN! Whoaaaaa-MAN!")
*****
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Reader Comments (50)
Wtf was with that frozen cake?!
I like the Olaf cake.
I once briefly spoke to Josh Gad outside a theater in NY. He walked away and then my husband and I walked away and we just happened to be walking in the same direction. I do believe he thought we were following him and if possible, he would have removed his head and held it up in the air to scare us away. Really, we were just trying to get home. CALM DOWN, JOSH GAD!!
Anyway, I like the Olaf cake.
And the poetry. I really love good poetry.
I choked laughing at the weenie buck cake. It's just so majestic I couldn't keep my composure in its presence!
There once was a blogger named Jen
Who saw lots of wrecked cakes and then
Would make comments on
With her husband john
That caused much laughing again.
Giraffe with no neck
Is only half as scary
As Zombie Olaf
Had you not specified the first one was a giraffe, I doubt I would have known that's what it was supposed to be.
Who is Holly Sh*t, and of what does she have 40? Inquiring minds want to know.
Olaf looks like two huge marshmallows smushed together with twigs and a regular marshmallow on top.
Where but Wal-Mart do folks have to be told not to stand in the bakery case?
I can't even figure out how the weenie-buck is standing. His rack is as big as his body. Oh deer!
You have to wonder why they needed to put up a sign stating that there was no standing allowed in the bakery case. Would love to hear the story on that one.
That's the only giraffe I've ever seen that had his neckbone attached to his hip bone. Was he in an accident?
Nice shout to my favorite Mike Myers film, 'So I Married An Axe Murderer'. Such a great flick!
Smiley above eyes.
Mutant abomination.
A giraffe? What the?
Holly Sh*t has forty,
plus one unfortunate name.
Beatniks go *snapsnap*
No standing in bakery case?? WTH?
Our office has a policy that's equally strange: "No live food in the refrigerator."
Yeah.....................
I work for a chain grocery store (not walmart) as a cake decorator, and parents let their kids stand in and on the cake case all the time. They will knock cakes out of the case or damage them and parents don't even apologize for it. It's more of a problem than people realize.
A "cake" that is made
from cupcakes frosted together
makes for a great Wreck.
Do you think the Olaf cake is purposely trying to look like Edvard Munch's "The Scream," or is that just a happy coincidence? I can't decide, I could believe either way.
The Olaf cake is probably based on this scene:
http://youtu.be/vM2dHHI11iw
Hiwever, it would have helped immensely if a) the face didn't look like a homicidal maniac; and b) they'd actually tried to shape the body.
There's nothing like some good poetry to start the day.
And that was nothing like good poetry.
[Editor's note- I laughed out loud. Thanks for that. -john (thoJ)]
The giraffe may have only one neck bone, but it makes up for it by having four eyes.
Nobody told me it was Holly Shit's 40th birthday! :(
Also why is the giraffe covered in poop?
The reason they have that sign on the cake case is because parents will ignore their kids and kids WILL stand in the cake case. They can destroy shelving, products, or get hurt. It's not an uncommon problem. I work at a walmart bakery and o can tell by the price tab that is also at walmart. Though they aren't supposed to have handwritten signs up. But their is your answer, everyone. Children and idiots are the reason for it.
Is that Weenie Buck being menaced by a snake? Or is that Holly S--t?
I worked for a while in a Walmart bakery and kids climb onto the cake case all the time to look at the cake books on top. One would think their parents would tell them to get down, but most are oblivious to what their kids are doing.
Oh man...I made it through just fine...until the snaps at the end.
That killed me.
hahahahahahahaha
*snapsnapsnap*
@ wildmaven I would venture a guess that at some point in the past, somebody thought it was acceptable to bring live bait to work & keep it in the fridge, necessitating a rule against doing so:
"Bob...the fridge is only for food, stop putting your earthworms in there."
"But earthworms are food for fish"
"Okay, the fridge is only for human food, stop putting your earthworms in there"
"But earthworms are also edible to humans"
".....Right...new policy...'No live food in the refrigerator'....now stop putting your worms in there!"
That Weenie Buck is in need of some serious groceries....and his antlers need to be put on correctly. They don't fly backwards in a breeze like a dog's ears! Most of them wrap towards the front, seriously. Don't people know these things!? ;)
...and to think, I yell at my kids when they put their hands on the glass of the case.
In the 23 years as a cake decorator I had to pull little kids out of the cake case while they were looking at the cake kit book. Of course Mommy and Daddy were shopping on the other side of the store while Little Mary and Little Bobby were stepping on my 15.00 cakes to see what was new. I would've gladly walked around and lowered the book so they could look at it.
Kids in the cake case?
Good parents just don't do that
Mine's in the freezer
Why is the giraffe topless? Is it wearing pasties? Or is it a mutant zebra with 4 nostrils (assuming 2 on the other side) (which is probably a mistake) and wearing a halter? Is it an homage (albeit a scarily *bad* one) to "Racing Stripes"? Is the wreckorator secretly in love with Hayden Panettiere?
I'm so confused. Now I have to make another pot of coffee and try to figure this out. Hmph.
Most of these parents HELP their children stand in the cake case to see the book. I had one take a page out of the book for their child to CHEW ON once!! Yes, I walked out to take their order, and said "thank you" to the child as I took the page back. LOL
@SuBee - Ha ha ha ha ha
@Nerfbomb--you must work in corporate America or something like that...LOVE IT!
Great movie reference today! Surprised I'm not the only one who got it though. That's just a bit esoteric!
I don't know what I laughed harder at -- "unicorn spleen" or "weenie buck!!!!"
OMG!!! @Subee, you made me laugh SO hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for that!
As great as today's posts are, it is "No live food in the refrigerator" that will keep me awake tonight.
The comments from all of you are as funny as the cakes! Who was able to distinguish that the first one was a giraffe? Because it looks like siamese twin snakes with doggy poopy all over them. I'll take your word for it but I think it would look better in the grass next to Weenie Buck with his backwards antlers and standy-up tail in the Forest of the Weird. Then all the children who stand in the cake cases can go visit them!
Holly? Sh!t. Your 40?
Holly, sh*t! Your 40.
Holly, sh*t your 40!
Holly Sh*t your? 40.
Holly Sh*t? Your, 40.
Ok, now go back and read those again, but this time imagine Samuel L. Jackson saying each line with inflection to match the punctuation, while holding a paper bag as a prop.
It's a fun game.
Poor Phil of the one bone. As if having only one bone wasn't bad enough he stepped in living poo and now it's migrating all over his body.
Does Weenie Buck have a flying price tag blowing from his backward antler?
How cool of you to know that today (August 18th) is Bad Poetry Day!
@wildmaven Not sure why that would be the case at an office, but I did have to get a small fridge for my classroom to keep the live worms for my class pet Moses the bearded dragon. They did not appreciate worms in the staff fridge. :)
@SuBee The cake, or the kids? ;)
Harriet, Sweet Harriet
hard hearted harbinger of hagis!
That movie is a classic!
Today's giraffe is brought to you by the Greek letter lambda.
Oh man I am laughing so hard at the 40th cake I am practically crying lol. Sheesh it is scary to think these aren't made up cakes they are real lol.
Today's cakes...! I...What...? Who in the....? But...
Jess, idiotic children are the reason for it.
She was a thief, you've got to belief, she stole my heart and my cat...
snap snap snap
Also, i am not sure why, but the face of Olaf reminds me of Billy Crystal, but not funny Billy Crystal, more serious, dramatic Billy Crystal. Was he in some kind of heartwarming anamatronic snow man Christmas movie at some point? or did i dream that?
someone might have asked this but was one of that deer's parents a wiener dog?
I'm not sure which the Olaf cake is, but I suspect it's the one that looks like the demonic Humpty Dumpty, right?
And all the "othres" too. OMG... ROTFLMAO. The comments are as funny as the cakes! And... yeah... the "no live food" in the fridge.... Holy smokes Batman, do we "zombie" reading CakeWrecks? That totally creeped me out... like... do you have a LOT of people bringing in "live food" for the fridge????? Don't answer! :-)
*Whispering*
BAKERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Had me trying not to laugh because I was eating cake
Holly Sh*t Weeniebuck is my new Drag Name.
Cheers!
Storm
Good lord... I've seen enough accidental dong cakes that I actually checked for a weenie on the Weenie Buck... before I realized what a Weenie Buck was, and laughed my burro off...