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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Aug172015

I Literally Can't Think Of Any More Literal Puns

Oooh, look, they remembered the H this time!

That joke totally makes sense if you remember The Cake That Started It All.
(Or the cover of the Cake Wrecks book.)

 

"So what do you want me to write?"

Gotta love how the baker drew her own reaction .gif.

 

"Any special design or colors?"

"No, just a 'Happy Birthday' theme."

 

"Did you say you wanted a number?"

"Yeah, a big 10."

 

"Anything else?"

ROGER THAT.

 

Thanks to Cynthia H., Donna B., Erik N., Maria N., & Rachel R., who knows REAL men use antlers in all of their decorating. ("Oh what a guy, Gas-TOOOOOON!")

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:


« Wax Poetic, Wax Off | Main | Sunday Sweets For "Tell A Joke" Day »

Reader Comments (27)

Andes Mints are for men? Shoot, all these years I've enjoyed nibbling on them, thinking I was all feminine. Wow - I learn a lot by reading CakeWrecks. Thanks, Jen and the crew for educating me!
(I also like the cool pics/links you have been making to Epbot)

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Unbelievably clever wreck related poem
Over an apology to the original poet

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Was the first one done by the "original" wrecker?

I really like the little laughing guys, though....

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

That is certainly a manly cake.

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

No matter how many cakes with these types of literal message errors I've seen over the years here, they still make me laugh (especially the one for a man!). So - thanks for that!

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I bet the folks over at the Big Ten Network would appreciate the fourth cake. Bonus, since it's in pink it wouldn't seem to favor any of the schools they cover. (Sports stuff, Jen. Sorry!)

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMind

Just that scene from Mulan when they learn to decorate cakes and sing "I'll Make a Man Out of You:

Let’s go decorate now
And inspire some puns
Flow’ry verse for women, manly stuff for sons

Not the saddest wrecks I’ve ever seen
But you can bet before they’re through
Wreckies, they’ll make a man-cake for you

Just write what they tell you and you can’t go wrong
If it’s bad enough man, you’ll inspire a song

You’re not gifted as cake guy
And you haven’t got a clue
Now go on, make a man-cake for Sue

(Wreck a cake)
Write a word to replace the flotsam
(Wreck a cake)
Just a phrase rather than awful sperm balloons
(Wreck a cake)
Mental strength’s not what you require
Your skilled as a somewhat smart, well trained baboon

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The Big Ten Cake should have that rash checked by a medical professional.

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Once again, SuBee's comment takes the cake. (but why she would want one of those cakes is beyond me, ba da bum, I'll be here all week folks)

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

I'm sure someone, somewhere, has named their child "Theme."

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

I need that second cake. There are so many moments in my life where I could use those laughing guys to express myself ... especially with the elections coming up.

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

@HairFish, I bet your right. Nothing would surprise me. My EMT instructor, many years ago, told our class of the call he did one night. He delivered a healthy baby girl on a call, and when the new mom asked why there were waiting to transport to the hospital, his answer" We are waiting to deliver the Placenta" She gushed that was a pretty name and called her newborn in her arms "Placentia". So THEME as a name? Wouldn't surprise me one bit. And @SuBee? You never cease to amaze me with your songs and poems. Terrific! JEN? The jokes today are priceless!

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

Placentia is a real name, though it's a place name rather than a personal name. It's the Roman name of the Italian town which is now called Piacenza.

A friend who worked in the obstetrics ward of a general hospital in London told me that one of the mothers had called her daughter Vagina, hearing the word for the first time and thinking it sounded pretty.

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

@Tachybaptus, lol. I'm of Italiano Heritage, and my middle name is Vincenza. Almost a cross between Vagina and Placenza right? I would have never realized this pearl of a coincidence, so thank you....I think? LOL Omg, I shudder to imagine what wreck would have been made if my parents asked for a Happy Birthday Vincenza cake. I need brain bleach just imagining it.

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

Huh...Hmm. Okay, I can't help it, but I got STUCK on the ad BELOW the post, for the "Transform anything with Metal Tape"....I have some of that stuff at home! Mine is called Duct tape. Yeah, it's metal-tacular stuff!

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Maybe the birthday theme cupcake one was just a smart alleck employee. Whenever I was decorating, I always hated it when people said stuff like that. "Birthday theme", what does that even mean? Does the person like rainbow? Do they hate blue? I need instruction so that it doesn't look like crap or end up with something the receiving person doesn't want.

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Another entry for the "OMG you NAMED her that?" file: The woman who "Borrowed" the pretty words from her medical chart to name her baby, and ended up with the daughter named "SyPhylliss Gonorrhea."

Sweetie, really, look the words up before you name the baby. And PLEASE identify the words that rhyme with the name you're considering. The kids in school will NOT be kind.

August 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Oh man this has me laughing and crying tonight lol. Wow I wonder how many customers actually took these home..

August 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

They're getting better though. This time they managed to spell "Underneath" correctly.

August 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBea

@ Tachybaptus That's just an urban legend.

Isn't it? Please tell me it is.

August 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBea

And I thought Abcde (pronounced Ab-se-deh) was a horrible child's name. My friend and I, who write for newspapers, have an ongoing "name game" in which we trade the most horrible names from the week's births and honor rolls.

August 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

"I use antlers in all of my decorating" is one of my favorite lyrics of all time. OF ALL TIME.

P.S. @Nobodee Home, when I went the midnight premiere of Deathly Hallows Part 2, the woman in line behind me was an English teacher who once had a student named Abcde, which I was stunned and horrified by. I was younger and more innocent then, what can I say.

August 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

I think a lot of bad name choice stories begin as racist or classist jokes (those uneducated folks have never HEARD the word before!), pass on to become urban legends and fool many of us. I would suggest asking your medical friends if these stories really happened to them or to friends of a friend. My favorite of the genre is the twins Orangelo and Yellogelo (orange jello and yellow jello, you see) and the boyfriend who told me it was insistent that the story was 1. True and 2. Not racist at all despite his telling it in dialect. FWIW, Angelo is a perfectly good Italian name, variants thereof are also perfectly good.

I am fascinated that cake decorations need be specified "for a man." Would someone reject CAKE because of what it looked like? Would it affect one's orientation to eat the wrong kind? Oh doooooooom! What are manly cake decorations?

August 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKate W

@ Kate W: "What are manly cake decorations?" I don't know either, but I bet if a certain idiot I once had to work with, name of Roy and one arrogant, mouthy know-it-all, would be able to answer that one.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMe

@SueBee, I rewatched Mulan the other day and had just gotten that earworm out of my head. Thanks. :P

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I'm not sure what "manly" decorations are, but I don't think what they used qualify. Just MHO... Oh these wrecks! Love it!

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Yeah, it would be nice to think that all of the "unfortunate words chosen as names" are urban legends or jokes. That's what I thought. Until I met some of the people bearing those names. I would include more of those names here, but one or more of those people might read this, and, while I'm sure they KNOW what is unusual about their names, they don't need me putting them on the spot.

And it's not like choosing a word to use as a name based on some attribute of the word itself is a new thing (think Hope, Faith, Robin, Rose). It's STILL important to find out what the word means (and what it rhymes with) before using it as a name. Anybody else remember the surgeon's sister named "Honorrhea" from the TV show MASH? Perfectly lovely connotations, dreadful rhyme...

August 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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