Hey, you guys wanna hear a good joke?
But here are some terrible ones, illustrated by AWESOME cakes, in honor of Tell A Joke Day.
(And no knock-knock jokes, I promise. Orange you glad?)
Q. What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?
A. "Put it on my bill!"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, ''Wow, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman sits down, fuming, and tells the lady beside her, ''The driver just said something terrible to me!'' The lady replies, ''You go up there and tell him off, then. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
(By Pamela Kabzinski)
(P.S. This one made John laugh until he cried. Just in case you were wondering what his sense of humor is like...)
"Excuse me, which aisle has the Nutella?"
"Sir, this is a library!"
"Sorry. [whispering] Which aisle has the Nutella?"
(By Juicy Desserts)
I went to the zoo the other day, but there was only one dog in it.
It was a Shih Tzu.
(By Highland Bakery)
(This may not actually be a Shih Tzu. Sorry. In my defense, I'm more of a cat person. Also, this is John's OTHER favorite joke today.)
"Doctor, I can't stop singing 'What's new, pussycat'!"
"Ah, sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Really? Is that common?"
"Well, it's not unusual."
(By Pink Cake Box)
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ''Hey, how do you drive this thing?''
Two cherries are sitting on a pie in the oven.
One says to the other, "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
The other says, "AAAUGH! A TALKING CHERRY!"
(By Lynlee's, tutorial at the link)
(I was tempted to change that to "DEMON CHERRY!!" but I'm not sure how many Emperor's New Groove fans are out there.)
Did you hear Ivy started dating zombies?
Apparently she prefers guys who want her for her brains.
(By Sideserf Cake Studio)
Q: Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
A: Because they were standing on the deck!
(By Alessandra Frisoni)
Did you hear about the big food fight? First the peas snapped at the celery, which stalked off. Then the potatoes made eyes at the onions, which made everyone cry. And though the carrots rooted for peace, in the end they all decided to just sit n' stew.
Happy Sunday, everyone!
And from my other blog, EPBOT: