Sunday Sweets For "Tell A Joke" Day
August 16, 2015 Hey, you guys wanna hear a good joke?
Well, sorry.
But here are some terrible ones, illustrated by AWESOME cakes, in honor of Tell A Joke Day.
(And no knock-knock jokes, I promise. Orange you glad?)
Q. What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?
A. "Put it on my bill!"
;)
(By Antonella Di Mario Torte & Design)
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, ''Wow, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman sits down, fuming, and tells the lady beside her, ''The driver just said something terrible to me!'' The lady replies, ''You go up there and tell him off, then. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
;)
(By Pamela Kabzinski)
(P.S. This one made John laugh until he cried. Just in case you were wondering what his sense of humor is like...)
"Excuse me, which aisle has the Nutella?"
"Sir, this is a library!"
"Sorry. [whispering] Which aisle has the Nutella?"
;)
(By Juicy Desserts)
I went to the zoo the other day, but there was only one dog in it.
It was a Shih Tzu.
;)
(By Highland Bakery)
(This may not actually be a Shih Tzu. Sorry. In my defense, I'm more of a cat person. Also, this is John's OTHER favorite joke today.)
"Doctor, I can't stop singing 'What's new, pussycat'!"
"Ah, sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Really? Is that common?"
"Well, it's not unusual."
;)
(By Pink Cake Box)
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ''Hey, how do you drive this thing?''
;)
(Baker Unknown. Anyone recognize it?)
Two cherries are sitting on a pie in the oven.
One says to the other, "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
The other says, "AAAUGH! A TALKING CHERRY!"
;)
(By Lynlee's, tutorial at the link)
(I was tempted to change that to "DEMON CHERRY!!" but I'm not sure how many Emperor's New Groove fans are out there.)
Did you hear Ivy started dating zombies?
Apparently she prefers guys who want her for her brains.
;)
(By Sideserf Cake Studio)
Q: Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
A: Because they were standing on the deck!
;)
(By Alessandra Frisoni)
Did you hear about the big food fight? First the peas snapped at the celery, which stalked off. Then the potatoes made eyes at the onions, which made everyone cry. And though the carrots rooted for peace, in the end they all decided to just sit n' stew.
;)
(By Bubolinkata)
Happy Sunday, everyone!
*****
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Reader Comments (35)
Lovely cakes and terrible jokes :D
I love your jokes and puns. And The Emperor's New Groove is my very favorite Disney movie. It's the one movie I can be depended on to recognize a quote from.
(Two fish are in a tank. Hahaha)
The last one reminds me of a song my mother taught me decades ago, sung to the tune of What A Friend We Have In Jesus.
While the organ peeled potatoes
Lard was rendered by the choir.
While the sexton rang the dish-rag
Someone set the church on fire.
"Holy Smoke" the preacher shouted
As he pulled out all his hair.
Now his head resembles heaven
For there is no parting there.
"No touchie!"
The fish joke really got me.
The cakes are spectacular. I love the veggies and stew one--it is simply unbelievable. Same with the dog in the Gucci duffel purse. Wow. I can't figure out what the chimp on the Wolverine cake is holding, though.
Jen, I really have to thank you for the bra post on Epbot--just in time, and all accessible from one place!
Flashbacks to when my son was 6 or 7. He would have told all of these jokes and giggled while doing so.
The one joke I don't get is the Michigan cake. Why the monkey?
Yes, that is a Shih Tzu!
My neighbor used to have some.
I say used to; they uh, weren't particularly smart dogs, one of them liked to run out in front of cars and wait for them to stop....until one didn't. Then another liked to stick its head through the hog-wire fence & bark incessantly at the pitbull next door...until the pitbull got fed up & pulled the shih tzu the rest of the way through for a "chat".
The neighbor now raises corgis....and they're smart as whips!
John and I must have the same sense of humor, those were my favorites jokes, too.
That pot & veggies one is really something else! If I saw that pic by itself I'd never guess it was a cake. Realistic details all the way down to the garlic & onions skins.
LOVE the premise this week. Very well done! Hope things are better in your world with cranky people.
What did the fish say when he was swimming along and ran into a cement wall?
Dam!
Love these cakes and the jokes!
@Mary Kay: About the chimp: I'm not sure, but judging by the look on its face, it seems to be some kind of an outlet... =^~.-^=
Ok, I have to say this because it's going to drive me crazy if I don't. And I don't want to be "that guy"... but! The pirate joke, it should be were, not was. I'm so sorry, forgive me.
[Editor's note- Thanks, Degera. I totally missed that. Apparently, I were not paying attention. -john (thoJ)]
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.
As my daughter would say, "Ba-da-dam-SWISH!"
Also, "Why do we even HAVE that lever?"
I can never pass up an opportunity to tell my favorite pirate joke.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel down the front of his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel?"
The pirate says, "Arr, it’s drivin' me nuts!"
...
Gets me every time.
Also I adore Emperor's New Groove. It's a delight and I love that you wanted to use it.
I'm still laughing over the Tom Jones jokes. In fact I'm a but embarrassed to admit how much it made me laugh. 😜 guess you know my type of humor now too
I think the carrots rooted for peas. (sorry) Great post today!
TLC, why a monkey, indeed? It's a VERY good monkey, but if it's supposed to be a wolverine, the decorator missed by several miles. Missed by a complete continent, I think.
Actually the dog looks more like a yorkie to me. I've owned a shi tzu and they have flatter noses and the ears flop over rather than standing up. But the joke is awesome!
Thanks for sharing these amazing cakes! and the jokes that make me giggle
Could you help me with the TJ Experience cake? I get the T(om) J(ones) reference, but I guess I'm just not in on the half-smile, no eyes, etc. Please help...
PS: Nice job on the hair.
Why does the monkey have a lock washer on his crotch?
(I don't get the zoo/ShiTzu one.)
[Editor's note- If you went to a zoo and all they had was one dog, it would be a bad zoo. Or, ya know, a shitzu. john (thoJ)]
LOVE New Groove. Demon Lama!!
Than k you!
Emperor's new groove is the best movie...ever.
"I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, AH HA HA HA, I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!!"
The tank cake is by thecakestore.co.uk (according to Pintrest)
Loved all of them but the fist tank joke wasn't quite right It is told as follows: two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says 'I'll man the gun, you drive".
The Tom Jones one was my favorite... joke that is. I think the Nutella cake hurt my brain. Is it bread? Is it cake?
@Nancie, my grandpa used to sing that song ALL. THE. TIME (though not to the same tune). I still catch myself singing it at random times. One of my all-time favorite silly songs.
And Jen, you totally should have gone for the Emperor's New Groove reference!
Also, many of these jokes are among my very favorites, especially the fish tank one. This is why I love you. :D
My nine year old to my husband on Saturday (he'd been away on business):
Dad, while you were gone, Mom went grocery shopping while she was hungry.
Husband: Really?
Daughter: Yes. She's now the proud owner of Aisle 4
I LOVE the Plants vs. Zombies cake. But, then, it's the one video game I'm kind of good at.
Beautiful cakes, and (somewhat) funny jokes...but I am reading them on a Monday morning.
I love these, although I learned the tank one a little differently.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the cannon, I'll drive!"
Thanks so much for the jokes! I REALLY needed them -- in the middle of an icky work quagmire. The laughs were most welcome, as were the "oohs" and "ahhs" as I looked at all these wonderful cakes.
@Kirsten, you're not alone. I'm still chortling at the Tom Jones joke.
Am I the only one who thinks a child named "Elsa" would love a Frozen-themed caked? Although... on second thought, by the time she's old enough to appreciate it, she might be like "Enough Frozen stuff already!" The Michigan University Wolverines ... Chimp with a ring (?) ... thing ... is amazing but very confusing. The one that I am most impressed with is the last one though. The sheer amount of detail (the onion has layers! the potato has "eyes"!) is astounding.
I keep coming back to re-read the monkey joke - funny every single time.
Re: the monkey in a Michigan shirt. as ANY MSU fan would tell you what else would wear that?
how on EARTH did you find a Tom Jones cake!?! what's next and Engelbert Humperdick cake? I DARE you to find one. I double dog dare you.
Thanks for the laugh, I REALLY needed it today.
Every time I watch the part about Kronk's spinach puffs my reaction is:
KRONK. I WOULD EAT THEM JUST FOR YOU