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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul292015

It's TOO DARN HOT

If you're not one of the people complaining about the heat right now, then you're one of the people complaining about the people complaining about the heat.

Either way, we all have the same problem:

Bad bikini cakes.

 

Yep, this heat wave has clearly addled bakers' brains, my friends, and the results simply aren't pretty.

Unless maybe you're looking for two trees in a Seuss-ian landscape.

Er...

[head tilt]

Naaaah.

 

Whoah. It's like I can't even see the tomato soup skin!

 

[singing] The hills are ALIIIIVE...

With butterfly CENsor dots!

 

No, wait. I have a better song.

(Ahem hem hem.)

From the MOUNT-ains,

To the VAL-leys,

To the OH-shoot!

Is that a THOOOOONG?

GOOOOOD bless America!

My...

Oooohhh soooo wroooong!

 

Thanks to Heather R., Melissa D., Heather H., Ellen G., & Ginny, who will never look at a heart cookie the same way again.

*****

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« Good Luck Wrecking The Castle! | Main | 5 Terrifying Kids' Cakes To Make You Poop A Little »

Reader Comments (32)

so much awesome wreckage on a "wicked" hot wednesday.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterterri

Why does the Seussian bikini show the front above the belly button and the backside below it?

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRSW

From Grease (as in what's used to frost these "cakes.")

Summer lover, he's such a blast
Summer lover, hope it will last
Met a god, crazy for me
Wearing my bad bikini

Too hot days drifting away
To, uh oh, those bathing suit frights

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Better off with ice cream

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

😥😰😱😩😵😲

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

oh so wrong is right!

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAddie

Omigosh! Patrick's wearing an itsy bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini!

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

i don't know, that bottom one (last one, i guess since there are multiple "bottoms") is kind of genius. love the tramp stamp detail on it!

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenteret

What happened to that poor 1st cake's belly button? Was hit by a meteorite? Guess there's nothing *meteor* than a slab of ab, rite? I mean right? And speaking of brains (who said THAT?), that's just what the 2nd cake's bikini top looks like, and you all know it. What I don't get is why *her* boobs are above *her* butt--with suspenders, yet! On second thought, I think the brains have left the building in that bakery. Good job!!
=^~.~^=

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

But.... I give props to the decorator who took a standard chocolate chip cookie heart and re-purposed it to to his/her own end, so to speak.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Wow! Yet another use for the Pan-Wow pan!

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenternurseboy

Is there such a thing as a *good* bikini cake?

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Thank you for making my day funnier. Now I'm going to bleach my eyes.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCary Vaughn

No, wreck-erators. Just ... no.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Cakes #2 and 3 : Why do I see boobs aver butts instead of crotches?

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

On the frontward/backward Seussian cake, why do I keep recalling the line from "Death Becomes Her,"
"My Ass! I can see my ass!"

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Cake no. 2: brain boobs.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that first cake looked like Patrick from Spongebob wearing a bikini.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

The cookie wreck should NOT have been a chocolate chip cookie, I recommend Proactive to that "bacne" riddled bottom :)
And that is right on the nose Miss Paper! They MUST be "Death Becomes Her" cakes! I love that movie :)

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

I actually sang along with you at the end! Really belted it out too! My co-workers are staring.......pfft. Whatever.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

That first one is a warning: Don't let your navel piercing get infected, kids.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

@nurseboy: that's exactly what I thought! Never realised you could get so much out of one pan...

I cannot honestly believe that that orange thing with the butterflies is supposed to be a boob cake. Do they even know what boobs look like??

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStiria_the_fast_one

I'm not moaning about the Orlando heat as we're here on vacation from England! Can't believe I'm in the same place as CW Jen and John!! Thanks for the daily laughs x

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaz

Ooohh…for a minute there I thought the heart shaped cookie had the Walmart logo above the thong--well, can't unsee that now.

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarcie

Those are all pretty awful (in a good way). But... we're not *all* compaining about the heat - some of us are still in a Southern Hemisphere winter!

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjames

Homage to fake boobies because real ones don't stand up like that without a lot of structural support.

I read the comments and went back to see things I didn't notice the first time. Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick!

July 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterteabunny

I think that cake #2 must have used the "Peen-Wow" -- it appears to be exactly the same shape as that really odd wang cake from a couple of days ago.

July 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Wtf is the deal with that last one? To paraphrase popular Australian slang, is the sun shining out of her a*se? Does she poo sunbeams and pee rainbows?

July 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

That last one is not recommended for the faint of heart or the faint of butt.

July 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPocket

Well I now will never eat a cookie without looking at it funny. Ugh lol. Also will promptly pass by the bathing suit department while trying hard not to giggle at the thought of these cakes.

July 31, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I'm trying to figure out the butterfly boob cake and the thong cake that immediately follows. Is that the same cake? Or does this bakery specialize in cutting bodies in half? It looks like the same fake-tan-colored frosting.

July 31, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermagicdomino

Anyone else thinking about American Pie?

November 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEsther

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